My friend who i have known for 15 years got in contact with a guy on the internet almost 2 yrs ago.
They have never met, he refuses to. They have never spoken on the phone, only text messages and instant messages is how they communicate.
I have started noticing how withdrawn she is becoming, and she has told me alot of things about how he is to her when they "speak" online.
He is very jealous of her going out, he is almost controlling her and making her feel guilty if she does go out with her friends.
An example, last week i went with her to the cinema, and as she couldnt use her phone in the cinema she was worried all night, she wanted to check if he had emailed her.
When she got home she said that she went online to chat to him and he went mad at her and said he didnt believe she was at the cinema and it was all crap about how she couldnt use her phone in the cinema etc..
And she just explains herself to him non stop, about what she is doing when we do go out together. she constantly makes excuses for his behaiviour. And says things like "i must have made him angry"
And "i should have worded it better to him as now he is angry with me"...etc.
She has panic attacks about him, she constantly worries about him.
And he hates all her friends, from what she has told him about us all,
He tries to keep her confined in her room glued to the laptop talking to him, she rarely comes out her room, she doesnt work, her parents support her, she is 25 years old!
He constantly makes up bulls*it stories and weird things, and she believes it all.
I have been in a mentally abusive relationship and i know how hard it is when people constantly tell you "he is no good for you" it makes you want to prove them all wrong so you stay with him, but this is surely not healthy, they have never met, he has no intention in meeting her, he keeps saying "we will meet, but soon, i am not ready, my ex cheated on me and i need time to trust women again"
It seems like things he says is like he hates women, for what his ex did to him, he doesn't trust my friend, and she is obsessed with the whole "fantasy" of maybe meeting him, and i know she loves the attention from him, as when he has a good day he is really nice to her, but she cant see through it like we all can.
I got out of my relationship, and i am much stronger now, and at the time she was advising ME on it all, i just wish she could see it is kind of the same as what she helped me through.
What can i say to her? i tried showing her stuff on the internet about abusive realtionships, like warning signs but she listens, and thanks me for caring , but the next minute she is online to him for 10 hours or more...
Please give me some advise, any would really be helpful to me.
I know telling someone that the man is no good for them doesnt help.
Do i just sit it out, and be there for her, until she finally realises what is going on?
I just fear that she is slowly turning crazy, and a bit mad over it all.
She is like a zombie over the computer for hours to him....
Thanks in advance.....
They have never met, he refuses to. They have never spoken on the phone, only text messages and instant messages is how they communicate.
I have started noticing how withdrawn she is becoming, and she has told me alot of things about how he is to her when they "speak" online.
He is very jealous of her going out, he is almost controlling her and making her feel guilty if she does go out with her friends.
An example, last week i went with her to the cinema, and as she couldnt use her phone in the cinema she was worried all night, she wanted to check if he had emailed her.
When she got home she said that she went online to chat to him and he went mad at her and said he didnt believe she was at the cinema and it was all crap about how she couldnt use her phone in the cinema etc..
And she just explains herself to him non stop, about what she is doing when we do go out together. she constantly makes excuses for his behaiviour. And says things like "i must have made him angry"
And "i should have worded it better to him as now he is angry with me"...etc.
She has panic attacks about him, she constantly worries about him.
And he hates all her friends, from what she has told him about us all,
He tries to keep her confined in her room glued to the laptop talking to him, she rarely comes out her room, she doesnt work, her parents support her, she is 25 years old!
He constantly makes up bulls*it stories and weird things, and she believes it all.
I have been in a mentally abusive relationship and i know how hard it is when people constantly tell you "he is no good for you" it makes you want to prove them all wrong so you stay with him, but this is surely not healthy, they have never met, he has no intention in meeting her, he keeps saying "we will meet, but soon, i am not ready, my ex cheated on me and i need time to trust women again"
It seems like things he says is like he hates women, for what his ex did to him, he doesn't trust my friend, and she is obsessed with the whole "fantasy" of maybe meeting him, and i know she loves the attention from him, as when he has a good day he is really nice to her, but she cant see through it like we all can.
I got out of my relationship, and i am much stronger now, and at the time she was advising ME on it all, i just wish she could see it is kind of the same as what she helped me through.
What can i say to her? i tried showing her stuff on the internet about abusive realtionships, like warning signs but she listens, and thanks me for caring , but the next minute she is online to him for 10 hours or more...
Please give me some advise, any would really be helpful to me.
I know telling someone that the man is no good for them doesnt help.
Do i just sit it out, and be there for her, until she finally realises what is going on?
I just fear that she is slowly turning crazy, and a bit mad over it all.
She is like a zombie over the computer for hours to him....
Thanks in advance.....