how to make sure that the other person in the relationship also loves you truly?

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aps

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i am in a live in relationship for past 4 yrs wid a guy younger than me. I was married before n hv. a kid. I always fel insecure bout him. He has other girlfriends but those r mostly telephonic n internet relationships. He wants lot of freedom. He says that since he is with me, i shudn't bother bout his relationships with others. He says that he knows his limits n will never cross that. He doesn't share with anyone about his relationship with me. For the world he is a single guy who is looking for a relationship. He says he is with me n will never leave me but can't help having other girls in his life coz in his age all guys do it. He says he is very honest with me so I shud give him space. I'm confused. Pls. advise what should I do? I'm too dependent on him emotionally.
 
Drop him like its hot. He apparently doesn't care about you, your child, or anything to do with your feelings. There is such a thing as freedom and there is such a thing as having your cake and eating it too. Don't let him have all of your heart and soul while he is only half assing it. Tell him to shape up from his tool-ish ways or ship out.
 
When I was young me and my mama had beef
Seventeen years old kicked out on the streets
Though back at the time, I never thought I'd see her face
Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place
Suspended from school; and scared to go home, I was a fool
with the big boys, breakin all the rules
I shed tears with my baby sister
 
You can never excruciate love from someone. They just have to love you back. Of course expecting one to love you the same way as you love them never works. But then, this guy doesn't seem to be committed. If you ask me, I would say he is not justified in hiding the fact to the society. He might allure unsolicited hopes out of his internet or telephonic pals. I suggest you talk it over very clearly. Or think about splitting up. I know splitting up is not the only solution. But then, I don't think he is justified in what he is doing. Especially when you are emotionally dependent on him. He has to understand that.
 
Ok well first of all you need to let him know how you feel about what he's doing. Tell him that if he loves you like he says he does then he needs to respect your feelings. Its not okay for him to put restrictions on you by keeping you a secret from the rest of the world. It's disrespectful towards you. The relationship won't work if you have some sort of resentment towards his actions. He either needs to change his actions or you need to move on. If you don't you're going to hate him for the way he's treated you and the worst thing you can do is let the relationship get to the point where you begin to hate each other. Its hard because you say you emotionally dependent on him, but remember that you're emotionally dependent on someone who doesn't give you the respect and love that you want and deserve. In relationships we have to learn to put ourselves first and love ourselves more than the other person because our happiness is at stake when we put it in the hands of someone else. Our happiness should come from within ourselves not solely from our significant other. Hope things work out for you! :)
 
Well the good thing is that he's honest. I don't know how young he is so it would be helpful to know. Let's face it. If he is 23 and you used to be married and have a child, you are on a very different life stages and it's hard for him to live a 'mature' lifestyle when his psychological age can't allow him to.... He wants to feel young and free still, which is understandable if he's so young (if he's 30, on the other hand, forget it - he's not in love with you) and it's up to you if this is enough for you or if you want to risk losing him altogether and find a man who will give you exactly what you want.
 
The more you try and pull him closer the more he will pull away.
He needs his space. Try not to accuse him of anything.
In time he will be yours.
Its funny but in a relationship we will fight for our space and other petty things but when we get them, we dont need them as much
 
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