How to stop ranting at my ex-girlfriend?

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InThisLifeLikeWeeds

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My ex-girlfriend left me for someone else a couple of months ago and it really messed me up. I've tried to kill myself several times and cut myself a lot (something I would of never even have dreamed of doing before). Since then, every time I see or talk to her, something just snaps inside. I want tell her how I want to kill myself, how I cut, how I started to heroin this week because I can't cope with what she did to me. I want her to feel bad for all the damage she's done to me. I want her attention. I want her to just notice me and care about me. This isn't me at all. I don't normally don't do these things. I want to stop, and but whenever I see her, it just happens. I lose control. I tried not to have any contact with her, but it seems like no matter how hard I try to stay away, I always end up texting her or something. I can't control it. It's impossible.

How can I stop this?
She deserves to just be happy in her new relationship. She shouldn't have to worry about me doing all these things, but I don't feel in control of myself most of the time. It's like everything is running on auto-pilot or something.
I tried counseling. I can't afford it and it didn't help me at all.
 
Try a different counselor, they are people too, they are all different. It's not like you tried one, you tired them all. There are places you can go for fee. Look for assistance to help pay for appointments.

http://www.gotcounseling.com/main.taf?p=6,7

Now that you have a drug problem, look into rehab.

If you are that broke, there is always the state. Check yourself in at the emergency room in a hospital.

All you have to say is you tired to commit suicide.

There are all kinds of things you can do. You are not going to get a response from Y/A that solves all your problems. I cared enough to checkout your profile and see that you posted multiple times on the same subject. Me caring changes nothing.

You need to set goals and reach them. Try, try, again. This will not be easy, this will not be fast, and this will not be cheap obviously. Do what it takes. It's possible to fix this.
 
Seek counselling. I suggest starting with your family doctor.
 
Come on man, heroin? Don't go down that road.. You can't make yourself a victim to this girl! why does she control your happiness... It's not her fault, its your own, and its your own problem.. the sooner you understand that the better off you'll be.. I realize it can be difficult with a bad break up.. you need closure though.. Tell her you need closure if you can't be together.. Talk to her about what your going through without getting angry at her and try to find some peace with both of your decisions and lives, with whatever may come out of the conversation...
 
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