How to tell my future mother in law that I don't want to be involved?

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TLady

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My fiance's brother is getting married and I feel like my fiance's mother is making me feel obligated to participate in their wedding. Ms. D called me the other day to talk about her plans for her son's wedding, she was telling me the bride had only $200 dollars saved up for a wedding that is suppose to take place next week. She also explained to me that they didn't have a venue for the reception or money to pay for one. I listened and pitched her some ideas for raising money like having a garage sale etc. She has been telling the bride and groom that I am helping with the wedding. I already explained to her that I was only giving ideas but she still pushes the "coming up with the money" talks. I talked to my fiance about me being uncomfortable with this situation, so when ever his mom brings up the wedding topic he redirects the conversation. I really feel like shes trying to use me financially!


As far as me and the bride, we are not friends. On numerous occasions my fiance would call me upset because she was talking about me. Saying things like our relationship is not going to last or I don't like her, which i feel is absurd because she doesn't know me. From the moment I met her all I get is rolling of the eyes and very immature, unladylike things even until this day. I still show her respect even though i feel strongly she doesn't deserve it.


I find out Ms. D is paying for flowers, dresses, making the food and more. I also over heard the soon to be bride talking on the phone saying that shes saving her money for the honeymoon and she doesn't want all these people at her wedding. My fiance has a big family 6 sisters and 7 brothers and my fiance along with his other siblings has not received an invite. I don't plan to show up. Ms. D herself is inviting the entire family to their wedding. How do I explain to my future mother in law that I am uncomfortable being involved or participating in attendance for this ceremony?
 
You already have. Mrs D is probably feeling the financial stress and grasping at straws wherever she can.

Since you are going to be a part of this family you need to tread softly. You don't want to alienate yourself from the rest of the crowd.

Personally I would not go. You have told Mrs. D you are not interested, you have told your fiance you are not interested, there is no reason to beat a dead horse.

I don't like the avoidance ploy of not answering calls and texts and just not showing, but you have told them on more than one occasion to leave you out. Perhaps it is just time to steer clear of the entire mess. Be warned there will be backlash from family if you don't go and quite possibly people blackballing your wedding because of it.

If none of this bothers you then clearly stay out of it. You can always say 'I didn't get an invite so I assumed it was family only since money was so limited'
 
Well, I think if your fiance goes to the wedding, u also need to show up if he wants you too.. Good luck and just take a good look to what youre getting married into..
 
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