i am 14 years old, wanting to be a author.....can u tell me how my first chapter is?

srikanth

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i have alwayzz wanted 2 b an author....and this is the first time i am writing my first book...the plot is about a treasure hunter who comes to an island but gets stranded and 2 kids come there to whom he says the secret which can change the whole world....so here it goes.....

It was close to midnight.
Darkness had filled the atmosphere.
Ryan Collins was completely geared up with all the devices. With a torch in his hand, he was walking quite slowly in the beach. He had just arrived in an uninhabited island of Nihau. He had come all the way from Massachusetts to a small island in Hawaii.
An MIT graduate , he is a cryptologist and a treasure hunter who has solved many codes and treasures but his biggest challenge was yet to come.
The Captain Cook’s treasure. A treasure which is unknown to the world, scattered somewhere around the islands of Hawaii. Many treasure hunters and cryptologists have tried their luck on this treasure, but luck wasn’t in their side. It still remains a mystery to be solved.
As it was nearly midnight, he decided to take shelter. Unfortunately, as the island was an uninhabited island he wasn’t able to find a suitable place to spend the night. He soon had no choice but to lay down near the beach.
After an hour or so, amidst the darkness , he was able to spot a flash of light in the sea. He was able to make out that the only person who could follow him here was Danny.
It was not only Collins who was behind the treasure but a colleague of him. Danny Robinson , a historian, graduated from Yale University, Massachusetts was a young , intellectual, hard working and was a good friend of Collins. Things became worse when they both became rivals regarding some unravelling of codes.
He soon got up from there and went straight away to the centre of the island hoping for some indication of the treasure. The path wasn’t an easy on to pass through. He had to face a lot of hurdles including strange creatures lurking around ,complete darkness, and avoiding Danny.
There were countless number of trees and the path seemed to be incessant. But Collins had no other alternative choice than heading towards the north of the island. His biggest support was his compass which has helped him in discovering many treasures.
As he was wandering in the island, he was petrified with the absolute darkness. There were many strange noises mainly caused by the strange creatures.
He whispered to himself in horror, ”If only I could go back home and,” but before he could end, he felt as if something was touching him from behind. A chill went down through his spine.
It was none other than Danny. He heaved a sigh of relief.
But he was taken aback, when it was not his hand which touched him but a Browning 9x19mm Hi-power handgun. One bullet and he was over.
He persuaded him to keep it inside. But it wasn’t an easy task for him. Danny ordered him that the only way the gun would be taken off from him was to listen to whatever he says. With no other choice left, he agreed disconsolately.
As it was nearly midnight, they came to a decision of taking shelter somewhere near the beach. But before going to catch a wink, they decided to start a bonfire to save themselves from the ferocious animals located in this island.
But it was easier said than done. It took them practically an hour to ignite the fire. Tired after the challenging problem, they decided to face the stars.
Even though Collins was sluggish, he was not able to sleep properly with Danny besides him sleeping with a gun on his hand. He decided to snatch it away from him, but there were several assumptions going on his mind. He said to himself, “What if he is pretending to be asleep?.What if he wakes up before I snatch it away?.”
With many thoughts hovering on his mind he decided not to go near him. Eventually he had to sleep. He woke up nearly in two shakes of a lamb’s tail after hearing a noise. He caught a glimpse of Danny leaving the island with a map in his hand. He was feeling both of happy and sad at that time. But to his dismay, he saw his boat in a broken condition and all his equipment were nowhere to be found.
He soon became conscious that he was stranded on an island with no cell phone to contact the world, no boat to escape from the island. He soon realized that it was the end. He had lost all hope of living again. He was sorry for his family after repeated no’s from his parents.
He decided to spend the last night of his life. Many thoughts revolved on his mind” what if I hadn’t arrived on this island?”. But everything was over for him. Unable to sleep, an idea struck his mind, “What if I start living on this island just like the way Robinson Crusoe did?”. He soon realized that it was a story not a real life incident. But, that was the only option left for him. He made up his mind, living on the island until he goes to
thanks alot william.....u r 2 good....u r good contender fr the best answer
thanks alot william.....u r 2 good....u r good contender fr the best answer
thanks alot william.....u r 2 good....u r good contender fr the best answer
sorry guyss...i cudnt post d rest of it...bcoz of the word limit!!
sorry guyss...i couldn not post d rest of it...bcoz of the word limit!!
 
Hiya

Didn't catch the end!?!
Otherwise is was impressed, alhough there was room for improvement, you are a very talented "young author".
I would love to see the rest if there is more!

Good luck and Well done!


Will ;)
 
Not bad considering your age. It's a little unorganized and there are a few spelling errors you'll eventually want to correct but other than that I think you're doing fine. I suggest following this link:

http://fictionfactor.1.forumer.com/index.php?http://fictionfactor.1.forumer.com

You could definitely benefit from registering on the forum and chit chattin' with the other users. I use to frequent the forum but not so much these days but I highly recommend going there. Good luck friend.
 
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