I am interested in an older man?

[laree78]

I am 32 years old and have been seperated from my significant other (we have been together 11 years) however because of some infidelity issues we have had in the past ( he cheated on me) I can't seem to forgive him and the past always comes up. I've been faithful to him for 11 years and we have 2 children together but now it seems that since I have given up on the relationship and stopped caring about what he is doing now he wants to try to all of a sudden work on the relationship. I have met a man who is 16 years older than I am and like him very much but we have decided that we need to wait to see what will happen between me and my significant other. (We are not married- don't know why never felt the need to get married I guess) but I really like this guy and never felt this way towards any other man since I have been with my kids dad. Any suggestions as to what I should do? I would really appreciate a mans point of view.

 

[MarkH]

For me it depends on how long ago your ex cheated, how good of a man he is otherwise, and how good of a father he is. If he is a good man and a good father that made some mistakes but now seems genuine, then I think you should try to make things work with him as he is the father of your children. It is best for the kids if mom and dad get along and stay together. If he cheated recently and/or frequently and simply isn't someone you can ever trust again...then you should consider leaving. However, it isn't really good to go from one relationship right into the next. Having another man to consider clouds your judgment as it could motivate you to decide things you otherwise would not.

 

[Happyl2]

I'd like to know why you "can't" forgive him? Are you sure it's not just that you "won't"?

So, you can't solve this issue on your own. It's time to try counseling to figure out how he can obtain forgiveness from you.

And in the future, remember: marriage first, kids after.

 

[Simonsays1]

You really need to fix the situation you are in before you go and make another attachment. You also have the kids vs new man issues to be concerned with. Too quick and the kids will resent you and the new beau! Too long and the new beau deserts. the age thing is a matter of what you do outside of the relationship. Music, movies, friends etc. fix your current state!