I have been dating the person, I believe to be the love of my life for six years now. (side note, I am 21 and he is 22) We have worked throw things that I would have never imaged. My boyfriend was deployed to Iraq for six months. He just came home in Jan. We spent two weeks together when he came home (it is called R&R). Then we went to our home town for about three weeks. Everything in our relationship was going so well. We were so happy!
When we returned to work and our day to day life, he started to act weird. I asked him why and what was going on. He told me that he just woke up and didn't feel the same about me. He said that he loves me and will always love me, but the passion was lost. He said to me that he just woke up and felt this way.
It has been two weeks. and we are trying to "fix" things. He really wants to work things out. So far we have had two long talks about the way he feels. And why he feels that way he dose. He says things like "I love you and I know that I will never find anyone who will love me as much as you do, but if we stay together that means we will be married. and I don't' know whats wrong with me, but i am scared to commit to that" and he still does all the nice things he did for me. And I have been giving him space and time. When is at work or with friends I don't call him or text him and when he is home I him have the tv and play xbox. But the more space I give him, the more he pulls me closer to him,
I don't understand what is wrong.
Also, I talked to one of his Sergent's and they said that it is normal for him to act this way. Right before he left I moved in with him. So he came back to a total different place; his old roommate got married and moved out. I moved in, we never lived with each other before. He got a new car, so now he has new bills and he is making less then he did when he was deployed. Also one of his cars got total a little before he left and he just found out that it is wroth nothing. and family stuff (I am not going in to detail, about his family issues)...
I don't know, if his feels are because of stressed and he can't see what he wants.Or if this is whole issues that is going to change us forever.
I don't know if this has to do with it: Over a year ago, he cheated on me. We worked throw the whole thing, We waited six months to be together.
I know it sounds bad, but we really did work throw the whole cheating thing out, turst me it was a lot of hard work and it was pain full. I got a lot of help from therapist. And we worked together, and took all the steps we felt were right for us.
I still trust him.
There were days when he would call he at 5 in the morning to tell me that he loves me. When he was gone, we were apart and were able to grow and learn how much we meant to each other. things were fine when he came home, and even when we were with our families. The day he went back to work was when it started. We went to sleep on a tuesday and woke up the next morning and everything was different
So I guess my questions are;
Does anyone have a story like mine, they can share?
Has anyone done throw the same thing, with a deployed love one?
And can anyone give me some words of hope?
How long is a good waiting time, before I bring it up to him agian?
I know that there will be someone who will tell me, that I am a dumb girl and I sould leave him. I get that enough from my sister. I am looking for answers that are caring, and that can Relate to my story. Right now, I would like words of hope. I also understand that I am only 21, and there are other fish in the sea, but right now I want to make it work with this fish. (i thought the fish thing was cute).
Thank you, and Please be caring.
When we returned to work and our day to day life, he started to act weird. I asked him why and what was going on. He told me that he just woke up and didn't feel the same about me. He said that he loves me and will always love me, but the passion was lost. He said to me that he just woke up and felt this way.
It has been two weeks. and we are trying to "fix" things. He really wants to work things out. So far we have had two long talks about the way he feels. And why he feels that way he dose. He says things like "I love you and I know that I will never find anyone who will love me as much as you do, but if we stay together that means we will be married. and I don't' know whats wrong with me, but i am scared to commit to that" and he still does all the nice things he did for me. And I have been giving him space and time. When is at work or with friends I don't call him or text him and when he is home I him have the tv and play xbox. But the more space I give him, the more he pulls me closer to him,
I don't understand what is wrong.
Also, I talked to one of his Sergent's and they said that it is normal for him to act this way. Right before he left I moved in with him. So he came back to a total different place; his old roommate got married and moved out. I moved in, we never lived with each other before. He got a new car, so now he has new bills and he is making less then he did when he was deployed. Also one of his cars got total a little before he left and he just found out that it is wroth nothing. and family stuff (I am not going in to detail, about his family issues)...
I don't know, if his feels are because of stressed and he can't see what he wants.Or if this is whole issues that is going to change us forever.
I don't know if this has to do with it: Over a year ago, he cheated on me. We worked throw the whole thing, We waited six months to be together.
I know it sounds bad, but we really did work throw the whole cheating thing out, turst me it was a lot of hard work and it was pain full. I got a lot of help from therapist. And we worked together, and took all the steps we felt were right for us.
I still trust him.
There were days when he would call he at 5 in the morning to tell me that he loves me. When he was gone, we were apart and were able to grow and learn how much we meant to each other. things were fine when he came home, and even when we were with our families. The day he went back to work was when it started. We went to sleep on a tuesday and woke up the next morning and everything was different
So I guess my questions are;
Does anyone have a story like mine, they can share?
Has anyone done throw the same thing, with a deployed love one?
And can anyone give me some words of hope?
How long is a good waiting time, before I bring it up to him agian?
I know that there will be someone who will tell me, that I am a dumb girl and I sould leave him. I get that enough from my sister. I am looking for answers that are caring, and that can Relate to my story. Right now, I would like words of hope. I also understand that I am only 21, and there are other fish in the sea, but right now I want to make it work with this fish. (i thought the fish thing was cute).
Thank you, and Please be caring.