homesickalien
New member
I am an addict. I will always be one. I DONT use drugs though. I gave that up after a very hard ten years on the streets, in jails. halfway houses the whole nine. when I got out of jail after doing a ten month stretch I decided I was going to live normal. I was released from jail and I had no drug craving. I was truly really tired of all that. So I got out got a girlfriend and a nice apartment and started drinking on weekends. Well that became wine everynight while my girl was working.We had a couple bad fights because of me being way to drunk which put her off a bit. She stuck it out and continues to. Four years later we are still together but its been real tough. I am over drinking and my girlfriend gave it up. Basically to show me that she loves and supports me. But heres how it goes. I dont drink or go out for a week and then BAM! I might get paid or an old buddy calls to hit happy hour. And I am literally done. I CANT have one beer!! If I say I am just going out for happy hour say on a tuesday at 5 o'clock. I will still be out God knows where at one in the morning drunk lookin for trouble.Aside from the drinking I am very healthy. I eat well I am very active and I have a lot of great hobbies. I am just caught in this pattern. I dont know how to get out. After I screw up my girlfriend hates me for a day or so then I work my way back to her. See she works from 3pm until 1 a.m. so I have this time to do nothing but get in trouble. And I just want it to stop. I mean I quit heroin after ten years. Now I cant stop drinking?? I dont drink everyday although I did. But when I drink bad things happen and I don t know when to say when. My girl says I should go to meetings. Yuck! I dont know what to do. My drinking buddy's are my only friends. When I dont drink I end up so bored sitting around my place at night waiting for my girlfriend to get home. It gets tedious. We live together and when she isnt at work we are great. I just get triggered when I am alone, or have money, or a buddy calls. I feel like I am missing something by not going out. I know thats lame but I live right in the middle of a very lively part of the city. And I have to watch people going by with friends laughing and having a great time day after day night after night. It drives me nuts when I feel like I am missing out. Bad feeling! I dont want to drink anymore but I dont want to feel like a lame duck. What can I do? Where can I go?