Confuzzled
Member
- Jun 3, 2008
- 35
- 0
- 6
So I met this girl a little while back. She and I hit it off instantaneously. We became great friends from the moment we met and within a few weeks I really started developing some serious feelings for her. The problem was I knew I shouldn't have let myself. I am currently going through a divorce from a loveless marriage that I haven't felt anything for my soon to be ex wife in quite some time, I'd say at least well over a year. At the same time, this girl was also in a relationship (sort of) with someone that I am also friends with. According to her, they were only dating, they weren't actually "together". They see each other usually daily, tell each other "I love you", but as stated before, they don't actually have a status of being boyfriend/girlfriend. They also fight quite frequently and he has been known to let his temper get out of control.
Here's where it gets tricky. About three weeks ago I finally got up the courage to tell her how I felt about her. She took it very well and told me that she too has developed feelings for me. I also explained to her that I felt like I wasn't being fair to her by doing this while she was with this other guy. She still made time for me and her to be alone together so we could talk about things and just be around one another. Then, two weeks ago, she and I got into a disagreement because I still felt like I was being unfair to her by making her pick between myself and the other guy. She got really upset and told me I needed to decide which was more important to me, that I let her be with this other guy or I go for what I really feel is right. So I told her there is nothing in the world I wanted more than to be with her, and that I would do anything for it. That was the night we had our first kiss.
Last weekend, the "other guy" was out of town, so she and I spent the whole weekend together. We went out to eat and to a fair and watched movies and cuddled on the couch and so on... At the end of the weekend I told her that I was falling for her. This is where it gets REALLY tricky. The other guy is deploying overseas this week. She said she just cant break his heart right now. Naturally, I was disappointed, but at the same time I understood. I would be devastated if I were deploying and my "girlfriend" or whatever you want to call it would dump me right before I left. But she did tell him about my confession of my feelings to her, and told him that she also had deep feelings for me. He in turn came to me and talked about it with me. I told him that I would respect what they have for as long as they are together and would not make any further advances. He then turned around and dumped her.
Within 12 hours, they got back together because (as far as I can tell) he didn't want to go overseas and be alone. She and I had a long talk last night. I explained to her how important she was to me and even though I have such strong feelings for her I could not ever stand to lose her as she is also my best friend. She knows everything about me, even things I haven't told her. She understands me, she GETS me. I told her if I didn't have her in my life I would have nothing at all. Her response to me was, "I feel like you are the right person for me. You just came into my life at the wrong time." So, question 1, what does that mean?
Question 2 is what should I do? The other guy comes back from his deployment in 6 months. I plan on still being there for her and showing her she's the only person in the world for me, but I have a feeling deep down she'll be overcome by how much she missed the other guy when he gets back that they'll go right back to where they left off and I'll still be left with nothing, only able to sit there and watch them be happy together. I don't mean to sound selfish, but she is the only thing in the world that truly matters to me right now and I know that deep down in my heart that she is my key to true happiness, and I don't want to lose that. PLEASE HELP ME!
Here's where it gets tricky. About three weeks ago I finally got up the courage to tell her how I felt about her. She took it very well and told me that she too has developed feelings for me. I also explained to her that I felt like I wasn't being fair to her by doing this while she was with this other guy. She still made time for me and her to be alone together so we could talk about things and just be around one another. Then, two weeks ago, she and I got into a disagreement because I still felt like I was being unfair to her by making her pick between myself and the other guy. She got really upset and told me I needed to decide which was more important to me, that I let her be with this other guy or I go for what I really feel is right. So I told her there is nothing in the world I wanted more than to be with her, and that I would do anything for it. That was the night we had our first kiss.
Last weekend, the "other guy" was out of town, so she and I spent the whole weekend together. We went out to eat and to a fair and watched movies and cuddled on the couch and so on... At the end of the weekend I told her that I was falling for her. This is where it gets REALLY tricky. The other guy is deploying overseas this week. She said she just cant break his heart right now. Naturally, I was disappointed, but at the same time I understood. I would be devastated if I were deploying and my "girlfriend" or whatever you want to call it would dump me right before I left. But she did tell him about my confession of my feelings to her, and told him that she also had deep feelings for me. He in turn came to me and talked about it with me. I told him that I would respect what they have for as long as they are together and would not make any further advances. He then turned around and dumped her.
Within 12 hours, they got back together because (as far as I can tell) he didn't want to go overseas and be alone. She and I had a long talk last night. I explained to her how important she was to me and even though I have such strong feelings for her I could not ever stand to lose her as she is also my best friend. She knows everything about me, even things I haven't told her. She understands me, she GETS me. I told her if I didn't have her in my life I would have nothing at all. Her response to me was, "I feel like you are the right person for me. You just came into my life at the wrong time." So, question 1, what does that mean?
Question 2 is what should I do? The other guy comes back from his deployment in 6 months. I plan on still being there for her and showing her she's the only person in the world for me, but I have a feeling deep down she'll be overcome by how much she missed the other guy when he gets back that they'll go right back to where they left off and I'll still be left with nothing, only able to sit there and watch them be happy together. I don't mean to sound selfish, but she is the only thing in the world that truly matters to me right now and I know that deep down in my heart that she is my key to true happiness, and I don't want to lose that. PLEASE HELP ME!