Hey! Merry Christmas! You just found out your girlfriend has been cheating on you with cybersex. And yes, it is cheating.
Forget about her. There will be others, and I seriously doubt you're in love with her, you probably just think you are because you're very fond of her.
Get rid of her, give it about a month and you'll wonder what you saw in her in the first place.
Failing that, you could stay with her, then in time, the relationship will go to hell naturally like they all do, then you'll either be trapped in an unhappy relationship, or you'll finally do the right thing and both go your separate ways.
Or, another option is to go after him instead of her (although personally I don't think he's done anything wrong). Get on messanger as her and start talking to him and see if you can mess him up
Whatever you choose to do, hating life because of that is actually rather pathetic
Man one day when I came back from Calgary, it was like a year and a half into my relationship with my gf, and she told me that she had sex with her cousin, and like 10 other guys that she was with. That totally blew me away, so from now on I was wanting to stay single, that way I won't have to come up with being jealous. One of the worst feelings that I have ever had. But you'll get over it in like a half a year max, and then you can move on with life and forget about her... If you want.
But cheer up man, there's plenty out there, and it's almost Christmas soon. And what's even better is to think of her as your sister rather than gf now.
And Roual, it's a harsh feeling that you get for the first or the second time when you have a gf that you liked, and can be a pain to get over, and gets ya really depressed over certain things.
Dump her man. If any chick did that to me, she'd be out in an instant, no explanations needed. Even if you get past it, you won't ever be able to trust her again, which will make the relationship suck. It's not worth it, and it'll just cause you both more pain. As for the many ideas of revenge, you can IM the dude under an alias and mess with him. Not very creative, but fun nonetheless.
I'll explain more in depth the situation. About March this year, she was talking to him, and secretly sent him some pictures.. I'm not sure if they were just of herself, or of "herself", but, pictures to some other guy on the net. Then MONTHS later, October, she talked to him again, and she talked dirty to him.. Trying to make him horny, I guess.. And then on December 21st she was up until 5 AM talking to him. First they were talking about how he was getting drunk and wanted to kill himself, and she was trying to get him to believe he should live.. Then he said that if she showed him something, it'd make him feel better. She was reluctant for a while, but after alot of begging, she took off her shirt. Then, after some more begging, she showed him fully her top, but only for a second. Then she said it didn't feel right, and that it was wrong, so she turned the cam off and went to bed. She had no intention of telling me ANY of this. (I don't think, seeing as how she didn't tell me about the pictures.) That better explains what happened, I hope.
I have no intention of doing the whole "use her for sex" thing. And I'm not into revenge, either.
We've talked it out, and after about 2 hours of her crying about it and saying she's sorry, I told her that we can only be together if she never does it again. If she does it again, I'll leave her, and that'll be that.
I can't call it lust, though. Even if I am just barely turning a "legal age", I feel something deep everytime I look at her, or when I'm with her. Sorry to be all mushy and whatnot, but I made a choice.
She won't do it again. She loves me, I don't know why the hell she did what she did, but I'm trusting she won't do it again. One more, though, and she's out the door. I don't want to live life wondering what would have happened if I gave her a second chance. I hate wondering what she's doing everytime she says "Be right back" (online) or if she says she's "going to bed early" (That's what it was last time), but I think it's worth it.
Lanakin dude. Heres advice that you just won't listen to.
Why do I say that? Because peopel DON'T listen to advice. They ask for it and 99 times out of 100 they don't listen. It's natural. Not sure why but it is. Ever given one of your friends advice and they didn't listen? Especially about a girl? Exactly.
People learn through pain. I'm guessing your going to learn when you catch her lying or cybering again. Sorry to sound like a jerk here but it's true. On a guess I would say most people on this forum think she'd do it again.
She felt sorry for him. he begged her. He was suicidal. BS
She should be given an award for saying his life by showing him her breasts?
Shes feeding you a line. I've been in the same exact situation both being lied to AND doing the lying. I've even used the I felt sorry for her speel.
She was wrong for doing it
You were wrong for snooping.
Are you going to trust her and never snoop again?
OR if you see that guys name pop up on her MSN or whatever are you going to click it and read it. Exactly
Good on you for being willing to give her another chance and I honestly hope your trust isn't misplaced.
But honestly, that feel sorry for him stuff is a complete line. If you ask me shes sorry she got caught.
Yeah, I got that feeling too.. I mean, she talked to me the same way BEFORE she did it and afterwards, and I don't think it was eating her up too much before I found out. I had actually been talking to her while she was talking to him, and she talked to me completely normal while she was.. Ya know. I'm giving her another try, hopefully my trust doesn't go wasted. I figure if that's really the kind of person she is, then I really could live without her.
She said she wanted to feel like she was "a different person".
Thanks for all the advice, I just wanted to see the POV's of other people. I wanted to see if there were any women out there that had done that before and know WHY they did it (My GF said that she hardly remembers it since it was at 4 AM, and still has no idea why she did it.) I wanted to see if there was any aspect of this that I may have missed, since I am an emotional wreck and am in hardly any state to see every side of the situation. Thanks again.
I'm guessing that's about my comment about all relationships going to hell eventually. It's an observation based on the amount of divorces that happen and combined experience from all my friends, be they older or younger than me.
Seriously, think about all the people you know, then think how many are on their second or third marriage and how many are in happy relationships.
Mate, you're 17. I don't mean to be patronising or condescending, but you are just 17. The fact is that a lot of people (including women, despite rants to the contrary) just aren't really ready for proper relationships at your age; even at my ripe old age of 21 (and I mix with women around the 25 mark) the idea of not just messing around scares them, nay, terrifies them. Straightforward, honest relationships are marriage material (hence the fear at such a young age) and if you don't cheat, treat them with respect and don't give them any drama, they will get bored and either cheat on you or dump you. I can't count the times I've had female friends whining about their nasty boyfriends only to keep on seeing them, whilst avoiding nice guys like the plague.
You are thus presented with two choices here, neither of which is really fair, but such is life. The first is to just put up barriers and remain single until you're sure you've found the one you want, which won't work because in order to find "the one" you will have to get to know them first. The second is to just accept that you will go through God knows how many stupid, irrational, melodramatic relationships until you finally find someone on your wavelength, and not beat yourself up too much over your losses.
By the way, in case you haven't noticed already, I would have dumped her.