I have a hard time saying "no" to this guy even though he's been a dick to me. Can...
...you help me toughen up?!? So I like/liked this guy...I'm mostly over him in the romantic likey-likey sense, but I still like hanging out with him and being his friend.
Now I feel like he's taking advantage of me and using me a little bit, because he knows that I like him; but the thing is, what he's doing could still be seen as just a friend asking a favor.
After being a dick to me (see rant below), he calls me up and asks me a small favor: Get a school directory so he can offer jobs to people at my school. It's a small thing, yeah, but the way he asked me about it made me feel like he was just taking advantage of the fact that I like/liked him, and the fact that I probably won't say no to him because of those feelings. I've gone off him since finding out about his wild night with our female friend, so I didn't WANT to just go ahead and do the favor, so I sort of dodged a bit and said 'I'll try but I don't think I can do it.'
HELP ME GIRLS, how can I toughen up against him and be able to refuse him?? I don't want him walking all over me or my heart any more than he already has!
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The rant, which explains all:
At the end of 2008, I thought we were going somewhere - we'd kissed, talked a lot online and a surprising amount on the phone (neither of us seem to be big phone talkers). Then on New Years, when he was at my house for a party, we made out and I asked him "What are we?", to which he gave the shitty answer of "You're an awesome friend but I don't know - I'm up for friends with benefits though."
So we talked about relationships and the possibility of "us" a few days later. We had differing ideas on what we define a relationship as and what we wanted from each other, so we decided to take it easy 'n slow and figure things out as they came up. I figured I could convince him that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship wasn't all that bad as time went on.
A month passes, its the start of February, and i see him flirting with a female friend that I sort of introduced to him. I find out from another friend that the guy I like and the female friend most likely had sex, despite the fact that they both knew that I like him AND despite the fact that the two of us had decided we'd talk about the possibility of other people coming into the relationship (whether we wanted open relationship or single-person-commitment)....Without knowing they [probably] had sex, I call him up a few days after I saw the two flirting, I called him and asked if he saw the two of us becoming anything. He said no, we hung up, and I got over it surprisingly quickly - I think I just needed to be told that "No nothing's going to happen", that I needed the finality and closure of it. Compared to how I used to think about him everyday, I've barely thought about him in the two weeks since I got my closure, so I feel like I'm mostly over him.
...you help me toughen up?!? So I like/liked this guy...I'm mostly over him in the romantic likey-likey sense, but I still like hanging out with him and being his friend.
Now I feel like he's taking advantage of me and using me a little bit, because he knows that I like him; but the thing is, what he's doing could still be seen as just a friend asking a favor.
After being a dick to me (see rant below), he calls me up and asks me a small favor: Get a school directory so he can offer jobs to people at my school. It's a small thing, yeah, but the way he asked me about it made me feel like he was just taking advantage of the fact that I like/liked him, and the fact that I probably won't say no to him because of those feelings. I've gone off him since finding out about his wild night with our female friend, so I didn't WANT to just go ahead and do the favor, so I sort of dodged a bit and said 'I'll try but I don't think I can do it.'
HELP ME GIRLS, how can I toughen up against him and be able to refuse him?? I don't want him walking all over me or my heart any more than he already has!
________________________________
The rant, which explains all:
At the end of 2008, I thought we were going somewhere - we'd kissed, talked a lot online and a surprising amount on the phone (neither of us seem to be big phone talkers). Then on New Years, when he was at my house for a party, we made out and I asked him "What are we?", to which he gave the shitty answer of "You're an awesome friend but I don't know - I'm up for friends with benefits though."
So we talked about relationships and the possibility of "us" a few days later. We had differing ideas on what we define a relationship as and what we wanted from each other, so we decided to take it easy 'n slow and figure things out as they came up. I figured I could convince him that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship wasn't all that bad as time went on.
A month passes, its the start of February, and i see him flirting with a female friend that I sort of introduced to him. I find out from another friend that the guy I like and the female friend most likely had sex, despite the fact that they both knew that I like him AND despite the fact that the two of us had decided we'd talk about the possibility of other people coming into the relationship (whether we wanted open relationship or single-person-commitment)....Without knowing they [probably] had sex, I call him up a few days after I saw the two flirting, I called him and asked if he saw the two of us becoming anything. He said no, we hung up, and I got over it surprisingly quickly - I think I just needed to be told that "No nothing's going to happen", that I needed the finality and closure of it. Compared to how I used to think about him everyday, I've barely thought about him in the two weeks since I got my closure, so I feel like I'm mostly over him.