baristagirltt
New member
I met my boyfriend through my close school friend. For a few years I kept rejecting him but she pushed for me to date him. She never had any problem with me dating him and it didn't get in the way of our friendship time. She got a boyfriend too but he was bad news. Her family were always worried about her, I was worried, she lost friendships because she chose him over everyone.
We eventually got into a massive fight because I though she was wasted her life trying to solve his problems. I tried to support her, I bottled up my feelings and didn't say anything because I felt bad for her. She used to say things really sly or jokingly that really personally put me down. Thinking about it now I think it was her way of dealing with her jealousy. I go to uni,have a good casual job and have lots of friends. She works full time in a cafe and is stuck in a bad relationship.
This is how the conflict started:
One day after she said I was weak and didn't stand up for myself in a work conflict I just went quiet, said goodbye and went home. I was so over her putting me down.That night I sent her a text message saying how hurt I felt all the time from her putting me down. I said that I want it to stop and that I understand if she doesn't realise she is doing it. So I pretty much gave her an open chance to apologise and change her behaviour.... I got no reply, we didn't speak for a while. Then one night I went over to talk to her and it ended up in a massive arguement. I exploded and told her all the stuff I hated about her boyfriend and what she had become. She denied it, said I was making things up about being hurt and said "ohh but he (her bf) has changed!". After that we haven't spoken for 6 months.
She still lives at home, so does my boyfriend. Every time I go to see him she is there and its really awkward. I tried to do little things to start being on speaking terms again. I sent her an invite to my 21st, when we were at a mutual friends party I offered her a ride home. She has now broken up with the bad boyfriend so what I said must have sinked in a bit.
Bottom line is, I don't want to go back to a friendship but I do want to at least be on civil speaking terms. I hate going over to their house feeling like an outsider. I don't show that I'm feeling like that but it gets to me.
Sorry this is long. What should I do? I don't want to apologise for anything but I want to make some sort of compromise with her.
We eventually got into a massive fight because I though she was wasted her life trying to solve his problems. I tried to support her, I bottled up my feelings and didn't say anything because I felt bad for her. She used to say things really sly or jokingly that really personally put me down. Thinking about it now I think it was her way of dealing with her jealousy. I go to uni,have a good casual job and have lots of friends. She works full time in a cafe and is stuck in a bad relationship.
This is how the conflict started:
One day after she said I was weak and didn't stand up for myself in a work conflict I just went quiet, said goodbye and went home. I was so over her putting me down.That night I sent her a text message saying how hurt I felt all the time from her putting me down. I said that I want it to stop and that I understand if she doesn't realise she is doing it. So I pretty much gave her an open chance to apologise and change her behaviour.... I got no reply, we didn't speak for a while. Then one night I went over to talk to her and it ended up in a massive arguement. I exploded and told her all the stuff I hated about her boyfriend and what she had become. She denied it, said I was making things up about being hurt and said "ohh but he (her bf) has changed!". After that we haven't spoken for 6 months.
She still lives at home, so does my boyfriend. Every time I go to see him she is there and its really awkward. I tried to do little things to start being on speaking terms again. I sent her an invite to my 21st, when we were at a mutual friends party I offered her a ride home. She has now broken up with the bad boyfriend so what I said must have sinked in a bit.
Bottom line is, I don't want to go back to a friendship but I do want to at least be on civil speaking terms. I hate going over to their house feeling like an outsider. I don't show that I'm feeling like that but it gets to me.
Sorry this is long. What should I do? I don't want to apologise for anything but I want to make some sort of compromise with her.