I need some inspiration to write jokes! Stand up comedy?

[BoyWhoDrinksCoffee]

I am 14 and really have no boundaries on jokes. It will be in a coffee shop at an open mic night. my bro and his friend are gonna sing and play music and since i know the owner i reserved me a spot to do stand up comedy. I am usually really good with jokes but i just cant think of anything. I have a new laptop so i cant watch vids on youtube (dont have adobe). I love Joan Rivers...she is my frickin hero in the comedy. So what are some really laugh out loud jokes?

 

[gatesofgold]

"Ah, so you think I'm funny? All my friends say the same, well, actually, they usually say my life is a joke, but that's about the same... right? Anyways..."