What i read out of your question is the difference between faith and active life. You say you believe in Judaism but you do not have any ties to the Jewish community. In my eyes, this is a contradiction and somehow pretty much a Christian view. You do not believe in Judaism, you live it and to do so, you need a Jewish community. Judaism is nothing one can do alone inside one's flat; it doesn't work without other Jewish people. So my advice would be the following: Move to a place with an orthodox Jewish community (you won't be able to convert as long as you do not live in a distance you can't reach the synagoge while walking to it), visit their services and talk to a Rabbi; he might refuse to teach you several times but will teach you if you do not give up and still come back and ask him. If you learn well, if you are sincere, a Beth Din will convert you in the end. And don't worry for the family - there are people that converted in every community who do not have a family as well and as soon as you are in the active process of converting, the community will give you a "host family" to spend holidays with and to learn living a Jewish life (because this is something you can't learn from books) and it's not that you are regarded less nice if you are converting and were not born Jewish - I for example like to prepare Shabbat or holidays with our convert as she learns a lot of practical things from me and I can learn some theory from her. So don't worry. Just take the next step for what you want if you truly want it - Judaism will not wait for you or take the step for you; it's you who needs to act.