ideas of jokes cuz i got in trouble?

A

AppleTrees

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so i4got to slient my cell phone and it made a sound when i got 2 txt messages.
my punishment is either telling a joke or buying doughnuts >.<
any1 knows any good one?
 
A: i knew a person who had a wooden leg named smith
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.
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B: wow, thats weird.. what was the name of his other leg?
 
Morris wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night.

He picks up his bath robe from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra. He thinks "bloody hell what happened last night??".

He walks towards the bathroom and finds a panty in the other pocket of his robe. Again he thinks "what happened last night, what have I done? Must have been a wild party".

He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is "Please, if there's a God, please let this be a teabag...!"
 
What did a green grape say to a purple gape?

Breathe you stupid grape Breathe!
 
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