Sorry that's a lie so you can click on the question.
Heya, I am 12(13 in one month) and I have written various other pieces of writing and this is a descriptive piece- I was asked to write about a typical secondary school playtime scenario. So after you read it rate it and list good/bad points please:::
The bell rings. I heave a heavy sigh. I already know what awaits me in these next fifteen minutes. As I hear the hustle and bustle of all the pupils who were inhabited in the class sauntering out, I begin to get up and my weary eyes try to blink to life.
This is what you get when you have to wake up one hour earlier to walk two and a half miles just to sit here and watch the world go by. I am overwhelmed with fatigue. My friends urge me to accompany them on their quest for fashion moreover as always; I trudge for survival, joining them reluctantly. As there are five of us, the smell of excessive perfume and the audible noises of heavy jewellery adds to my desolation.
Im not miserable because I am failing almost all my classes. Im not miserable because my sister is in hospital, on her deathbed. Im not miserable because my dad more often than not, arrives home late in the night, highly inebriated. I am miserable because I am being used. I have to attend to everyone's needs. I have to simultaneously take care of my insatiable family and clean our dismantled home. I am fed up.
Here I am, entering the world of gossip and graffiti, of fashion and fame and of bickering and boyfriends. I am in the girl's toilets...
As my companions start to apply on unnecessary make-up on to their powdered faces, I already acknowledge the fact that this is only the inchoate of a long and tiring "touch up" demeanour. Touch up = adding some make up on to your face; however in this case it's getting ready for the most magnificent wedding in the world!
The toilets have foul graffiti written all over the walls and a malodorous smell emanating from unflushed toilets.
Also, the sinks are clogged up, toilet paper has swathed the surface, with excretion and blood smothered all over it. The mirrors barely reflect anything as there are scratches covering them which are so sharp and crooked, they could have been made by witches!
I stand...and wait. I just recollect something. Something terrible. A rush of trepidation whisks through my body as I instantaneously collapse...
THANKS AND IM SORRY ITS LONG BUT PLEASE READ IT ALL
RATE OUT OF 10 AND LIST GOOD/BAD POINTS PLEASE
Heya, I am 12(13 in one month) and I have written various other pieces of writing and this is a descriptive piece- I was asked to write about a typical secondary school playtime scenario. So after you read it rate it and list good/bad points please:::
The bell rings. I heave a heavy sigh. I already know what awaits me in these next fifteen minutes. As I hear the hustle and bustle of all the pupils who were inhabited in the class sauntering out, I begin to get up and my weary eyes try to blink to life.
This is what you get when you have to wake up one hour earlier to walk two and a half miles just to sit here and watch the world go by. I am overwhelmed with fatigue. My friends urge me to accompany them on their quest for fashion moreover as always; I trudge for survival, joining them reluctantly. As there are five of us, the smell of excessive perfume and the audible noises of heavy jewellery adds to my desolation.
Im not miserable because I am failing almost all my classes. Im not miserable because my sister is in hospital, on her deathbed. Im not miserable because my dad more often than not, arrives home late in the night, highly inebriated. I am miserable because I am being used. I have to attend to everyone's needs. I have to simultaneously take care of my insatiable family and clean our dismantled home. I am fed up.
Here I am, entering the world of gossip and graffiti, of fashion and fame and of bickering and boyfriends. I am in the girl's toilets...
As my companions start to apply on unnecessary make-up on to their powdered faces, I already acknowledge the fact that this is only the inchoate of a long and tiring "touch up" demeanour. Touch up = adding some make up on to your face; however in this case it's getting ready for the most magnificent wedding in the world!
The toilets have foul graffiti written all over the walls and a malodorous smell emanating from unflushed toilets.
Also, the sinks are clogged up, toilet paper has swathed the surface, with excretion and blood smothered all over it. The mirrors barely reflect anything as there are scratches covering them which are so sharp and crooked, they could have been made by witches!
I stand...and wait. I just recollect something. Something terrible. A rush of trepidation whisks through my body as I instantaneously collapse...
THANKS AND IM SORRY ITS LONG BUT PLEASE READ IT ALL
RATE OUT OF 10 AND LIST GOOD/BAD POINTS PLEASE