Im gay but I am always hiding it, is that hurting me mentally?

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Nate

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I have a group of guy friends and they are all str8. They are always making fun of gays and sometimes I even join in. I do my best to hide my true self because I am scared they will all reject me and I am scared of getting hurt. Is this hurting me mentally? Will it cause me problems?
 
you are balancing your interests.

if it doesnt hurt you to laugh at gay jokes, then whats the problem. ?

i'm out and i love gay jokes.

the question is how can people really be friends if they wouldnt accept what you are. ?

well whether they could or not, what they have a problem with more often than not, is the fact that you so easily lied to them and for so long.

they will feel betrayed more by that, than by the fact that you are gay. maybe both. you can probably guess the reasons why they might not accept it.. religion being the biggest. and you have to ask yourself

"have i been friends since before realizing i am gay or did i know before accepting their friendship that i would have to lie just to be their friend.?"..

if its the former then tell them and say

" listen i know how you feel about this issue and i understand the reason why. I respect your right to your opinion ...if you want to end the friendship over it, its up to you.

but i value your friendship and I think i owe it to you to be honest and tell you myself before you hear it from someone else....im gay

.but i hope you wont end the friendship over that and i promise i wont make it wierd for you by acting any different than i ever used to act."


if you knew going in that you were gay and that you would have to be a hypocrite to get their friendship then there is nothing to do or say to redeem yourself now
its like lying on a job application . .
if they find out you have to expect to be turfed out.
 
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