metalgirl101
New member
- Jan 23, 2011
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...opinions? Desperate for advice 
? Bit of background information: I'm female and 19 years old. I'm not sure if past depression will link to this alot but during school I was bullied unbelievably, moved schools three times, self harmed alot, considered suicide and I had anger management counselling and a pyschologist.
i'll give a brief description of what i'm like, some things may not be anything to do with bipolar but i'm here to ask for your opinion so i'll try to cover all areas. I'll give you all the points possible if you can help me. I'm desperate for advice as i'm seeing my doctor on wednesday to discuss this for the first time. I just want to make sure i have the potential diagnosis correct :s
I'm very impulsive. If i'm in a heated discussion i can really lash out on someone and really hurt them alot more than they've hurt me. Then i end up really confused and feel unbelievably guilty about how horrible i was. I always want to go on shopping sprees as soon as I get paid. I seem to love buying things I don't really need, I just love spending money. I also like giving money: When I see a homeless person I give them lots of money and feel really guilty if I ignore them. Almost as if i 'owe' them. I talk very quickly, when i sleep at night my thoughts race and I feel like i won't be able to sleep because my brain doesn't shut up. Some nights i don't even sleep because i don't feel tired.
I have days when i feel VERY optimistic and positive, like i can achieve anything and do anything and be happy and i wish i was always this way. I'm very constructive and get things done. Other days I can snap at my mum just for her coming into my room and disturbing me to ask a question, i feel very irritable and feel like i just want to be alone because i feel hopeless and empty. On these days I feel easily distracted, worthless and always tend to draw attention to ways people have betrayed me in the past. I try to convince myself it's in the past but the little monster in my head fights me until i feel even more sh*t about myself. I feel very anxious and I am always very paranoid during these days and feel like i can't trust anyone. I feel everyone is lying to me and still betraying me behind my back. I also can't seem to ever hold a job down. But no matter what mood i'm in I always find it VERY difficult to socialise with people, for example when i go out with my boyfriends mates I'm just very reserved and shy and only come out of my shell after a few drinks :/ I have no idea how to go about talking to people because I'm not used to being friends with many people since i got bullied.
One thing i will mention is that i'm not suicidal at all! I love life but i just want it to be easier.
ON WEDNESDAY... i'm going to visit my doctor about this for the first time, i really feel i need a diagnosis as soon as possible because i've been like this for years but always been too embarassed to admit it to anyone. What should i say to them? How do i convince them that i think i'm bipolar? What is the procedure for being diagnosed?
Thankyou SO much to anyone who can help. I really, really, really appreciate this.
? Bit of background information: I'm female and 19 years old. I'm not sure if past depression will link to this alot but during school I was bullied unbelievably, moved schools three times, self harmed alot, considered suicide and I had anger management counselling and a pyschologist. i'll give a brief description of what i'm like, some things may not be anything to do with bipolar but i'm here to ask for your opinion so i'll try to cover all areas. I'll give you all the points possible if you can help me. I'm desperate for advice as i'm seeing my doctor on wednesday to discuss this for the first time. I just want to make sure i have the potential diagnosis correct :s
I'm very impulsive. If i'm in a heated discussion i can really lash out on someone and really hurt them alot more than they've hurt me. Then i end up really confused and feel unbelievably guilty about how horrible i was. I always want to go on shopping sprees as soon as I get paid. I seem to love buying things I don't really need, I just love spending money. I also like giving money: When I see a homeless person I give them lots of money and feel really guilty if I ignore them. Almost as if i 'owe' them. I talk very quickly, when i sleep at night my thoughts race and I feel like i won't be able to sleep because my brain doesn't shut up. Some nights i don't even sleep because i don't feel tired.
I have days when i feel VERY optimistic and positive, like i can achieve anything and do anything and be happy and i wish i was always this way. I'm very constructive and get things done. Other days I can snap at my mum just for her coming into my room and disturbing me to ask a question, i feel very irritable and feel like i just want to be alone because i feel hopeless and empty. On these days I feel easily distracted, worthless and always tend to draw attention to ways people have betrayed me in the past. I try to convince myself it's in the past but the little monster in my head fights me until i feel even more sh*t about myself. I feel very anxious and I am always very paranoid during these days and feel like i can't trust anyone. I feel everyone is lying to me and still betraying me behind my back. I also can't seem to ever hold a job down. But no matter what mood i'm in I always find it VERY difficult to socialise with people, for example when i go out with my boyfriends mates I'm just very reserved and shy and only come out of my shell after a few drinks :/ I have no idea how to go about talking to people because I'm not used to being friends with many people since i got bullied.
One thing i will mention is that i'm not suicidal at all! I love life but i just want it to be easier.
ON WEDNESDAY... i'm going to visit my doctor about this for the first time, i really feel i need a diagnosis as soon as possible because i've been like this for years but always been too embarassed to admit it to anyone. What should i say to them? How do i convince them that i think i'm bipolar? What is the procedure for being diagnosed?
Thankyou SO much to anyone who can help. I really, really, really appreciate this.