Improving Masturbation?

[Dude]

I am a man who can't get a girlfriend and I don't want to spend money on hookers as they may be expensive and I don't want to risk my self of getting a Sexual transmitted disease. SO anyone have a good thing to use for masturbation such as for example women can possibly use a banna and popsickles and hotdogs....What can a Man use lying around the HouSe to use as a masturbation item or buy that may seem innocent but can serve my purpose???

 

[HoshiK]

Use gasoline with carbon monoxide and bleach