Interested in opinions on this new poem 'The Gallop'?

noeusuperstate

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Better with our without the last two lines?

The Gallop
Let us saddle up our pride and ride.
Champing on the bit of arrogance
We will not spare the whip on our indifference.
In great flanks we will rush across the open ground
Careless of thought, blind to need
As we ride to our ending.

Let us saddle up our pride and ride.
Riding high in the stirrups of our spite
We will show no mercy nor look for succour,
Smashing through the ranks of the innocent
Trampling with hooves, whinnying in laughter
As we gallop towards our disaster.

Let us saddle up our pride and ride.
Pulling on the bridal of our contempt
We will permit no use of halter as we stride on.
Riding down the weak in our path
Crushing with hatred, slashing in anger
As we charge into the flames of our destruction.
Let us saddle up our pride and ride, ride, ride,
To our damnation!

Edgar Noe 22/12/2009
 
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