Is it acceptable for a "friend" to talk badly of your girlfriend?

srfangelchc

New member
My boyfriend's friends (particularly one girl) continually fuels drama in my relationship. And this is their second time doing so (first time nearly ended my relationship). I recently had a fight with my bf, which resulted in a temporary (4 day) split. I've been hanging with his friends nearly every weekend. And we've all been having fun. I thought that I could truly call them friends. However, I found that to be wrong. During our break, I found out that the (girl) friend sent him several texts saying that an end to our relationship is a "good thing," that I can't communicate (ironic since I'm a communications major), and that I don't love him. I was enraged because I thought that she was my friend as well. I never knew someone so backstabbing. She acts like she's my friend, but right when my back is turned she says horrible things about me. She even wrote me a few days before that she hoped everything worked out between my bf and I.

For one, I hate that my bf lied to me, saying that his friends were completely staying neutral. Secondly, I dislike how he defends his friends instead of me. He ultimately claims that it's only natural that she said those things in order to make him feel better. & he excuses her behavior because we were broken up at the time. I cannot accept this. This is the second time she has pretended to be a "good" & caring person. Not only does her behavior bother me, but I sense that nothing good can come from his friendship w/ her (at least for me). My bf simply wants me to ignore what she said, but I can't! I've never met someone so untrustworthy. I refuse to be in a relationship that's surrounded or heavily influenced by people who either ruin or make my relationship purposely difficult and dramatic. I just don't understand how my bf thinks it's okay for me to accept his friends who clearly have no interest in giving fair, well-informed advice. & I somehow become the enemy when I try so hard to act like a true friend to these people. I just can't seem to win. They will obviously just narrowly take his side on everything because he met them first and texts them more (pathetic I know, but I'm honestly not exaggerating).

I know people will say friends always side w/ their friends. But FYI, my friends are respectable people who don't always take my side; they try to find ways to improve my relationship, and they want to see things from a boyfriend's point of view. Even my bf likes my close friends. In short, I honestly don't think it's a good idea for my bf to associate w/ these people. It nearly ended our relationship before, and history seems to be repeating itself. It's not like I want him to have no friends---just better friends. Personally, I'm tired of dealing w/ this drama & these people who neglect to acknowledge exactly who I am---a friendly, caring, aware, and observant individual who has nothing but good intentions. So, what would you do as a boyfriend or girlfriend?
 
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