is my introduction for my reflective essay good?

guitarhottie101

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hi, im writing a reflective essay for eng.12 and its about " people can create their own reality"
i was wondering if this is a good enough introduction and or thesis.

A lot of people become successful in life by creating their own reality. Everyone has a reality and sometimes may not even know it. No matter what their position is in the environment, they all have chances to create their reality. However, people show their reality through hard work, dedication and motivation.
 
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