Is this a good thesis statement and introduction?

D

DoungBoy

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My paper is about, Should animal be used for research.- It is a research paper

If you walked in a children hospital and seen kids sick and on the verge of dying, will you kill 10 rats to save those children? Is it animal research or animal cruelty. There are over a million over animals who die each year cause of experimentation but there are millions of people lives save by animal research. So should animals be used for research?
 
i think your kind of contridicting yourself. you could prove the things you have mentioned in there but there no the same idea. you said... "Is it animal research or animal cruelty. There are over a million over animals who die each year cuz of experimentation but there are millions of people lives saved by animal research. So should animals be used for research?" i just think that you could clear it up a bit.

Although with the new technology used today in our labs and hospitals we can find cures or clues to many diseases, we are putting lives through an unfair number of tests resulting in death. These deaths are those of animals. You can argue that its just an animal, put you cannot argue that this Is animal cruelty.

Maybe?
 
I guess, i liked it and it was catchy, kinda makes u want to read the rest
 
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