It's SO frustrating (long-ish rant)?

Before I start, let me say what happened about a month ago. My friend, we'll call her M, was in a relationship a month back with a manipulative and habitually lying, boyfriend (we'll call him J). They're both 14. I'm 17. and my other friend, (we'll call her K) is 15.
M found out that J was lying about his phone being taken away, when she had K text him. M then used K to send J texts, it came across as though M was trying to put a guilt trip on J. Eventually she finally said that they were over.

Today, I was talking on the phone with her and K.
She was mentioning how J would make such a "WONDERFUL husband and father." I told her that he wouldn't.
Then we got on the topic of what we were going to do at the retreat, knowing fully well that we'd bound to end up running into J there, K and I said that we should avoid him at all costs. M said that even if I did tell him to leave us alone, he wouldn't.
She said that she wanted him to apologize to her and give her the reason why he acted the way he did.
I told her that he would never sincerely apologize to her, because he's that type of boy and the reason why he acted the way he did was because he was still inside, a fxcking immature child.
She didn't listen. She said that she still wants to know and nothing is going to stop her from talking to him, and that he can't "hurt her anymore."
At this point, I was at the verge of snapping, but instead, I texted K and told her that I was going to remain silent.
As K tried to convince her that he won't listen to her, M just used excuses that she doesn't want to lose a "friend." He doesn't even deserve such a title, he's a low life SOB.
K failed to convince her, we said good bye.
I texted K telling her that at the rate that M is going, she's going to end up in an abusive relationship and nothing we say or do will help her, because she's too ignorant to realize it.

It's obvious that K and I can't stand J for good reasons, because if he ends up lying to M about how he feels and everything, they'll end up dating again...

Sometimes I feel like just telling M to do whatever she wants, just don't come crying to me when she gets hurt by J.
But of course, I'll never tell her that...
I forgot to add: How would you handle this situation?
I already told her how I felt, yet she doesn't listen. :[
 

Lookie

New member
You can't force someone to do what you want. There are women marrried to complete jerks and they don't see it that way they would die for him and they are fine with it.

You have to either allow her delusion and just be her friend or if you really can't stand the whining and drama then avoid her. But don't be rude or mean. No need for it.

Anyway they may break up eventually. Or he may change a little. Most likely they will stay together cause she has her heart set on it and women like that won't leave for anything. You either need to learn to accept J or ignore him. If you don't want to spend hours symathising don't. If she calls remind her once or twice that she could do better and all guys aren't like that. If she doesn't listen after the second time then politely excuse yourself and hang up. She wants to be with him no matter what he does and there is no use in wasting your time and evergy arguing. She does need to be told she can do better but not to the point your fighting.
 

ahhht

New member
Warn her about this. Then when she comes crying to you, tell her you warned her and that she can't undo what she's done. But don't tell her that she can't come crying to you...and bla bla bla. Just leave her alone for now. She's obviously making a bad choice. When she finds out how terrible he really is she can't blame anyone but herself.
 

VeronicaE

New member
Im Going Through The Same Think Now Dont Worry About It. It Is Very Frusteration But All You Really Can Do Is Just Sit Her Down And Really Just Tell Her How You Feel And If She Still Doesnt Listen Then Just Tell HEr Im Sorry You Wont Listen But If You Dont Like The Truth Then You'll Be The One In The End Getting Hurt
 

ninjagirl

New member
If it were me, and she hadn't listened, I'd talk to the guy and tell him to back the hell away from my friend or he'd wake up without his balls. But being less violent, I would stand by my friend and make sure he doesn't get hurt, if u think she's getting hurt physically phone the police, or tell her parents, I know it sounds stupid but they need to know. Thanks for the help xx
 
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