Hi i just began writing a Fantasy book.What do u think ??
The walls closed in on me threatening to kill me. As the walls came closer, the line of power faded from my hand. Fear seeped into me from all angles, paralysing me as it stole further into my body and shattering any control I had over the powers that I was gifted. The walls kept coming at me, as if there sole aim in life was to kill me; but still I couldn't’t move. As the first wall got close enough to touch me, one line flared up on my hand; glowing faintly of red and sending one wall flying back into its original place and shattering the paralysed spell on me. I ran down the hall, fear slowly coming back to seize me as I had never stayed in a realm before and because I never thought I would ever be so close to death again.
I kept running the walls started to slowly move towards me again. I ran round a corner finding a door to my hanging barely by its hinges. I was curious so I slowly walked into the room and found a man standing in the middle the room. Around the room people lay on the floor covered in blood, clinging to life with their remaining strength. The man looked up at me. Where his eyes were supposed to be, black holes of empty space lay. His hands were covered in blood and were glowing red, the blood seeping into his hands. I tried quickly gathering some power and directed it at the closest person to me that was lying on the floor, which turned out to me a young man around my age of nineteen. I willed the power to heal the man but instead of going to him, it turned and when straight at the man standing up in the room, the only person to actually look half alive in the room except for me. “Thank you,” he said smiling. I gasped out look completely blown away. He had actually just leached onto my power and healed himself. I quickly gathered power and directed it at this man. I threw a rod of power at the man and willed it to hit him, but instead it turned into a rose!!
“Your power is nothing in this realm,” the man said smiling. “However thank you again for the little healing and this lovely flower”. He sucked in a deep breath and threw a ball of lightning at me” It tried to jump out of the way but the lightning ball hit me on my leg and I flew back screaming and hit the wall and flying straight through it shattering it’s feeble wood and hitting the ground in the hall, pain over coming me so much that I fainted.
I woke up again still lying in the hall with bits of rotten wood covering me. “****” I whispered to myself wondering how the hell I was still alive. He had thrown a “ lightning ball at me” and for what trying to save a life.” I tried to get up, but fell right on my behind as pain hit me” I looked down and seen that my entire right leg was covered in blood. “Great” I shouted “just great”. I wiped the blood away with the remains of my favourite leather jacket and ran my finger down the cut that was still bleeding, as I did so I spoke the word “go maith” and the cut stopped bleeding and the cut slowly began to heal. I smiled, I loved having power, being able to heal, yea I couldn't’t banish away the pain but at least the bleeding had stopped and the cut was almost healed.
please tell me what you think of it and please don't tell me about and SPG as this is my second day writing.
AND do u think it sounds to much like the Harry Potter series . IF yes why ??
PLESE give me a score out of ten that dose not include SPG
The walls closed in on me threatening to kill me. As the walls came closer, the line of power faded from my hand. Fear seeped into me from all angles, paralysing me as it stole further into my body and shattering any control I had over the powers that I was gifted. The walls kept coming at me, as if there sole aim in life was to kill me; but still I couldn't’t move. As the first wall got close enough to touch me, one line flared up on my hand; glowing faintly of red and sending one wall flying back into its original place and shattering the paralysed spell on me. I ran down the hall, fear slowly coming back to seize me as I had never stayed in a realm before and because I never thought I would ever be so close to death again.
I kept running the walls started to slowly move towards me again. I ran round a corner finding a door to my hanging barely by its hinges. I was curious so I slowly walked into the room and found a man standing in the middle the room. Around the room people lay on the floor covered in blood, clinging to life with their remaining strength. The man looked up at me. Where his eyes were supposed to be, black holes of empty space lay. His hands were covered in blood and were glowing red, the blood seeping into his hands. I tried quickly gathering some power and directed it at the closest person to me that was lying on the floor, which turned out to me a young man around my age of nineteen. I willed the power to heal the man but instead of going to him, it turned and when straight at the man standing up in the room, the only person to actually look half alive in the room except for me. “Thank you,” he said smiling. I gasped out look completely blown away. He had actually just leached onto my power and healed himself. I quickly gathered power and directed it at this man. I threw a rod of power at the man and willed it to hit him, but instead it turned into a rose!!
“Your power is nothing in this realm,” the man said smiling. “However thank you again for the little healing and this lovely flower”. He sucked in a deep breath and threw a ball of lightning at me” It tried to jump out of the way but the lightning ball hit me on my leg and I flew back screaming and hit the wall and flying straight through it shattering it’s feeble wood and hitting the ground in the hall, pain over coming me so much that I fainted.
I woke up again still lying in the hall with bits of rotten wood covering me. “****” I whispered to myself wondering how the hell I was still alive. He had thrown a “ lightning ball at me” and for what trying to save a life.” I tried to get up, but fell right on my behind as pain hit me” I looked down and seen that my entire right leg was covered in blood. “Great” I shouted “just great”. I wiped the blood away with the remains of my favourite leather jacket and ran my finger down the cut that was still bleeding, as I did so I spoke the word “go maith” and the cut stopped bleeding and the cut slowly began to heal. I smiled, I loved having power, being able to heal, yea I couldn't’t banish away the pain but at least the bleeding had stopped and the cut was almost healed.
please tell me what you think of it and please don't tell me about and SPG as this is my second day writing.
AND do u think it sounds to much like the Harry Potter series . IF yes why ??
PLESE give me a score out of ten that dose not include SPG