Just lost my family because of Christian Church, having a bit of a hard time coping?

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Caseagainstthetrinity

New member
l am 22 and live out of home. I was officially thrown out last Monday. About a month ago, l told my parents l was leaving and everything just blew up, like my dad yelling and screaming at me. l was kicked out because l am now living with my lesbian friend. All the church members said cause l was unrepentant and stuff they had no other choice. They gave me a week to 'turn around and repent and come back to God', which basically means ending my lesbian relationship. l've told them and everyone else that if l cannot be with her, l will drive to the highest bridge l can find and will throw myself off; l absolutley cannot live without her. There's a little more to the story, but that's enough said. My girlfriend is the most amazing person l have ever met. She is kind, caring, loyal, understanding and very patient with me in my situation, so l am truly blessed to have her by my side.

My parents however, are not so understanding. Because my dad is a pastor, they will not budge. l got an email from them saying how pissed they are and reminding me of all the stuff they've ever done for me and hoping l'll come back soon so they can talk to me. My only brother phoned me and said that if l wasn't going to go back then this is the last he can ever speak to me. l know my family, and under no circumstances is anything to come before this 'religion', not even family. So l've lost them, all my immediate family. lt feels like they have died.

So l am having a really hard time coping with this huge loss. l was wondering if anyone out there, anyone at all has ever been through this. How did you cope? Please. lf you have any advice or words of wisdom for me, it would be greatly appreciated. Any help at all, any kind words.

And l have said this before on similar questions, and it's not been listened to soooo......NO homophobes TO ANSWER PLEASE! NONE AT ALL!!!!!!! I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD SAY TO ME AND I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE OF YOU B.S! THERE IS A REASON I LEFT THAT CULT YOU CALL A RELIGION!!!!!!
 
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Zach

Member
I will pray for you. I don't believe that He has any problems with a man and a man or a woman and a woman relationship, and that that part was only edited in there at some point. God bless and the best of luck to you. Again, you will be in my prayers.
 
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Soundra

New member
You should go to amazon.com and order of copy of the Devils Bible. There is no point in stressing over a church that will never accept you. you should be open to everyone about your lifestyle and let them know that not only are you a lesbian, but because of the Hatred of "God's" Church you will now worship the Devil, who loves all and excludes noone.
 
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HeeJun

New member
Sounds like you've already made up your mind, and you're looking for words of comfort.
I've heard similar stories where a girl pursues a lesbian life, and her dad, who's like a senior member of a church, disapproves. In her case, she eventually turns back to her family (i don't know why, but that's her choice).

For you, I think you gotta go independent. You're 22. If your family can't accept for who you are, then it's time for you to say goodbye. But do try to remain open-minded in the sense:
1) Know your family stil loves you and they are doing this out of love
2) If they want to reach out back to you, do be prepare to accept them

I'm a Christian but I will never forsake my own child due to sexual orientation, especially when science is on the verge of showing that sexual orientation is linked to genetics (i.e. out of the control of our own action). But basically I think you gotta accept the fact that your family won't accept you for your choice for the time being. It'll proabably take a couple of years before they settle down.
 
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mthatgirlm1

New member
It doesn't matter what you think, your parents think, you church thinks, what you think of your GF...it just matters what God thinks. So ask yourself, what does God think? You know God exists. So ask him what He thinks.
 
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uyennguyen

New member
Your family loves you, for sure, and I know they think they're doing the best for you. They loves you so much that it stings to think of where they believe you gonna go.

I can understand that it's hard for them to accept you. Give them sometime

But not mem because I'm an atheist. Well I'm not a lesbian but I love you as a fellow human

Why jump off the bridge?
Atheist view: this is the only life you have, why waste it for some intolerant ppl?
Christian view: since you die as a lesbian, you will go to hell (for your family believe in this superstition. And you haven't enjoyed anything in your relationship yet, so go to hell now is pointless. At least 70 yrs later, I'll see you there.

Turn atheist, we welcome you!
And if you ever change your mind, feel free to go back to God, we won't force you to do anything

At the moment, surely you can't go back. What you can do now is just try to live happily, try to be successful. You're lucky to have a great girlfriend, so don't let her go, it's rare to find true love. I believe, after sometimes, when your parents had calmed down, both sides had had time to think carefully and your parents can see that you live blissfully with your choice, maybe things gonna get better. Of course I can't guarantee a completely acceptance, but "Don't worry, be happy" :D
 
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jnik23260

New member
You don't say if you have found another place to live. Are you living with your girlfriend? Is there a gay support group in your town that might help you find a place? It's going to be a hard thing to do, but you are going to have to put your family out of your life for a while. I'm surprised you were still living with them at 22. Most gay/lesbian kids with unaccepting parents leave as soon as they reach adulthood. Do you have a job? Are you in college?

This might sound like fantasy, but some parents like that have learned from their mistakes and yours still might come to their senses. But it may take years, if ever. You must get used to a new life without them for a while.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Build on it.
 
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kdanley

New member
Ask any Christian what he or she gave up in order to become a Christian.

Your church did not leave you, you left your church. When you openly, publicly, and unashamedly continue in sin, your church has no choice but to exercise discipline. Our youth pastor confessed to adultery, and our church reluctantly rebuked him. He may no longer serve as a pastor in any church. It was hard for everyone, but it had to be done.

If you are the pastor's daughter you should know what the Bible has to say about sin, the church, and discipline. You have hurt many people with your choices. Your family and church are likely praying for you at this very moment. They love you, care for you, and worry about your soul.

I know the reason you left the church. You wanted to live your own life without being restrained by religious laws.
 
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nikki

Member
OK. I am female and 100% heterosexual. I am married and beyond happy. I love my man and he is the best thing in my life. He loves me and does everything for me. And yes, I will admit it, I do not understand the gay lifestyle. I will admit it, I do not understand why a woman would want to be with another woman or a man with a man. But guess what, I'll also admit it is not for me to understand. It is also not for ANYONE to judge or understand. It is about LOVE. And LOVE alone. You need to be happy honey. That is all that matters. Your happiness. Not what anyone else thinks. My husband is twice my age. Do you have any idea how many people have judged and questioned our love based on that? People have said to him "Well you're only with her because she's young and beautiful and you want to get ****" and then people have said to me "You're only with him because he has money" NO! We're with each other because we're madly in love. I'm so sick and tired of people trying to ruin other people's happiness. So you forget them honey and move on and enjoy your happiness. Forget what everyone else thinks.
 
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mamaeduck

New member
I am so sorry that this has happened. You haven't lost them, they have lost you. If you desire to continue a relationship with them, you could try inviting them to family counseling. This same scenario happened with my sister-in-law and her partner. Her parents wouldn't talk to her at all, wouldn't have anything to do with them, even their granddaughter. It wasn't until years later when my first daughter was born that it started to all come together. Tomorrow we will all be having Thanksgiving at my SIL's home, along with her partner of now over 20 years. The parents missed out on many wonderful years and I think they finally realized their mistakes. I don't know how this will turn out for you and your partner, but stay true to yourself. To deny who you are and who you love would be losing any self-love and without that, there is little hope for your own happiness. Good luck and best wishes.
 
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LadyWildcat

New member
Your last paragraph suggests that you only want answers from people who agree with you. Why post the question, then?

Your parents, even if your father were not a pastor, are under NO obligation to accept each and every single behavior and lifestyle choice that you embrace.

So, please don't blame the "Christian church" for losing your family. You made a lifestyle choice that you KNEW would possibly result in condemnation by your church and particularly your parents.

Your parents probably still love you, at least on some level. But again, they are not obligated to accept, approve of, and condone everything you do. Your father is a pastor and you deliberately chose to live with a lesbian lover -- how did you expect him to react? Seriously?

As for the church community, the same thing applies. They are not obligated to accept your lifestyle choice, nor are they obligated to allow you to remain a "member in good standing" when you have so blatantly embraced a lifestyle that is so heavily contradictory to the church's teachings.

We're all sinners, of course -- but most of us do not build an entire lifestyle around a given sin. Which is, sorry to say, exactly what you have done.

Parents and churches have every right to hold certain teachings and certain standards. When someone deliberately violates those teachings and standards, you shouldn't be surprised when said parents and churches ostracize you. Nor should you play the victim by saying that it's THEIR fault.

I don't like to use the word "fault" here, but the truth is, certain choices carry certain consequences. Well, in this case, it involves choices that YOU made -- not your parents and not your church.
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TheBibletgivesHopet

New member
If you were 18 or younger this story would be horrible. I still think it's sad that they could not work it out. But how can you be kicked out if you are living with a lesbian already?
 
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