Make a wish, .. and have it corrupted!

Granted! But that's all you can speak, and only in a minor regional dialect of the basque country, which can only be understood by 8 other people. And a goat. Named Barnaby.

I wish I could invent the greatest emoticon known to mankind.
 
Granted but since you have to write it like this :@&#$*@(!@&$*&(#&!@!@*(&$&$&$&$(@)!_#$*&#&@^!*$&!*#_@!*#&&#&!())%)% )$(@~~*$&*(@&@&*(@$(&$$)(@_($$*(@&(!&($*&(@)

Nobody ever bothers using it

I wish I had a goat named Barnaby.
 
Granted, but it runs away with a sheepess named Gloria.

I wish I had a big-a55 yacht.
 
granted but on your maiden voyage it all goes Titanic on you and you sail into an iceburg... as you slowly sink into the murky depths, penguins on the iceburg taunt you.

you are left stranded on a tiny life raft in freezing conditions with no Kate Winslet to keep you warm.

I wish my boss would stop over-reacting to the smallest of things
 
granted, now you start overreactin to stuff


I wish people stop with this bruce lee..."stuff" it's getting annoying! ENOUGH!
 
Granted but Bruce Lee is reborn and resays all of his famous quotes and everything and everyone follows him again because Bruce Lee is 'de bomb' AND BE LIKE WATER MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I wish I had no bones.
 
granted... but genie is growing old and misunderstands your wish so he gives you a life time without a 'bone'
No amount of viagra or hot young blondes can tempt your lil friend out of hibernation

i wish i could beat chuck norris at a 'round house' competition
 
granted, but since it's not possible to defeat chuck norris on any level, the universe implodes. life and even time ceases to exist. way to ruin it for the rest of us, jackass.

i wish this blister on my foot would go away.

edit: also, i wish my balls would stop itching, because it's getting really old and people have been giving me funny looks all day.
 
Granted! And as a result both your foot ( the one with the blister ofcourse ) and your balls vanish, never to be seen again. . .Ofcourse, solving your problem..

I wish I had a 12 inch turkey sub on italian bread with lettuce, onions, tomato, jalepeno and mustard with a cold refreshing Monster XL to wash it down with.
 
granted, but the tomatoes are rotten and you get food poisoning from the turkey. and your monster xl is warm, b/c the little things count too.

i wish i had telekinesis
 
Granted, you now appear exactly as god, unfortunatly he doesn't see it fit to give you any special powers and because the 'gods' in most religions are found in the 'heavens' you are instantly killed.

I wish I had a living breathing pony I could ride around on :-P.
 
Granted, but you can do is ride around, in circles, so you never get anywhere.

I wish I lived in a big house.
 
granted, but genie thinks you are being greedy so he shrinks you to 1ft so you will always live in a huge house...
At your height little 3 month old babies taunt you and even the family cat uses you as a scratching pole you look like an ooompa-looompa short of a chocolate factory

i wish my coffee out of the machine didnt taste the same no matter what button i pushed
 
granted, but then instead of coffee, your machine starts to produce cucumber juice with a hint of mustard. (well it wont taste the same now lol)

i wish that i could ifnd a decent boyfriend
 
granted, but you get bored with his decency and cheat on him with a more edgy guy. then your boyfriend finds out and beats mr. edgy to death with his bare hands right in front of you, and you have reaccuring nightmares every night until you finally lose it and wake up in a mental institute.

i wish i could do a backflip.
 
Granted, but as you do a back flip your back snaps and you have to walk like a crab for the rest of your life!

I wish I won the euro millions
 
Granted, but you use your millions to go buy some poor european country, and start a dictatorship. Your peasants revolt, and using weapons given to them by richer countries, they kill you and start a democracy.

I wish I could beat up Harry Potter, the wimp
 
granted but Snape comes round the corner, sees you fighting gives you both 3 days in the forest thing for being violent.

I wish i wasn't in school right now.
 
granted, instead of being in school you get life in prison... and bubba's getting lonely. have fun

i wish my hamstring didnt hurt like hell
 
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