My friend is in an abusive relationship?

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AMELIE

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My friend is in a verbally abusive relationship where the guy says horrible things to her, cheats on her all the time, and isolates her from friends and family. They have broken up multiple times, but she always goes back. This summer they broke up again, and we all thought it was for good. She wrote her friends letters begging for them back. I offered support, and did lots of research, and talked to her for hours everyday to try to help her through it. So we thought things were back to normal but her first day back to school she got back together with him. I feel betrayed and like giving up. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just give up on her? I'm so angry at her for not respecting herself enough to leave this guy, and not having any willpower while I worked so hard to be there for her. The reason I would have to cut her out completely is because the way the guy isolates her is to be very cruel to her friends. I feel like I have to pick between her, or putting up with his abuse to me and my friends. Any advice?
I agree with both sah! and Jacob, but it is just hard in this situation. I'm not normally so quick to end a friendship, but I think it's hard to stay a true friend where you and your other friends will continue being harassed with text messages and cruel words by her boyfriend if you stay.
 
I have a friend like that. She's intelligent, kind, funny... she's great, but somehow, someway she actually believes she's in a relationship! Her "boyfriend" has abused other women and its obvious he hates all people with vaginas. He steered clear of me from the beginning (she told me it was because he could sense my strength) and started isolating her. She quickly choose him over everyone who treated her well. I don't put up with a doggone thing from this guy. He'll rough her up and lie to the police that she's crazy and starts fights with him. He's even lied in court to make her seem like the aggressor and magically it worked. He's accused her of sleeping with his dad when she went to his dad for support. He's lifted her by her breast and crotch at the same time and thrown her. I've wanted to wait in the bushes with a bat for this guy, but everyone would know that it was me. (Heehee.) Sorry, you didn't want to hear me complain... You're probably going to need to cut her off in a certain way. Be polite, friendly, and welcoming but don't allow her to complain to you about him. Refuse to hear anything about him. Even if she's telling you some little sliver of good behavior he had two Tuesdays ago for 15 seconds, simply don't react and excuse yourself to leave. When she's left, support her, when she's with him just care for her at a good distance.
 
A true friend will never give up on a friend. But she really needs a wake up call.
 
I would only talk to her about it when/if the subject gets brought up. If you talk to her about it and she still wants this guy, then let her be with him, and soon enough she will see on her own that she shouldn't be with him.
 
Girls who put up with abuse and go back may need a friend like you more than you know. It usually means that she's been abused by her own family and thats what she knows. It doesn't make it right or her happy....but somehow the abusers can bully sensitive beaten down girls into going back with them out of fear.
 
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