My mom is my life but does that mean I live a straight life style?

[Rissa]

I'm a 22 year old lesbian. I have a wonderful gf that I have been with for over a year. She asked me to marry her back in sept and I accepted. We have been trying to conceive a child. She treats me so good. Like I'm a princess. Her family is amazing. We are working on owning an assisted living family care home. We have a wonderful life. But my mom doesn't approve. I told her I might be pregnant and she said I can't be happy for something that is wrong. It crushed me more then anything. I'm her first born and this would be her first grand baby. So my question is what do I do? A girl without her mama has nothing. I love my mom so much. I don't wanna lose her or my siblings. Do I try to live a straight life style to make her happy? Do I give up on what some only dream for....true love? What do I do?? Please help.

 

[Monika]

It is disappointing that she feels her way, that is her right. I would tell her that you love her a lot, and it hurts you terribly that she has issues with your lifestyle. Say that you love her so much that you want to keep her in your life, and a potential grandchild in her life. If she wants to cut down on how often you see her, you would miss her a lot, tell her so. But come back to the fact that you love her, you don't love her behavior, you don't share her ideas, but that will never ever make you stop loving her.

However, if you have a wonderful life with your partner and may have a family of your own, remember "A girl without her mama has something" not "nothing". You can't live a straight lifestyle to please her, you need to cut the apron strings, be your own person, and know that you deserve to be happy. She may come around to change her view in a decade. I think if you give her time and tell her every time you see you love her, and don't share her ideas, emphasize you are not going to change, and perhaps she will decide not to change, but you'll love her anyhow, I think she will get over it.

Don't ask her to change, let her do it in her own time. If she truly wants you to be happy, more than she herself wants to be proud and selfish, she will want you to be happy, and she should figure it out.