my son's birthday?

[cloud7]

My son just had his 34th birthday, his Family has a difficult time now, because of a death of his wife's Father.
Is it wrong of me wanting to acknowledge his birthday, ask him whether we can meet with him for a short time to give him a gift, not on the specific day, but on any day around his Birthday. and also is it wrong to ask whether we can see our little Granddaughter on any terms and for any short or long period of time? I only ask, not demand.
I am called selfish, insensitive,not caring and disrespectful for offering my help with cooking, shopping cleaning and babysitting, because I have a selfish desire to see my Granddaughter. I am quoting exact words.
I appreciate serious answers, and no insults.
I already asked him out, and just give a gift w/o going anywhere, and invited him to our house, and already gently asked when can we see our Granddaughter, the answers are: no, no and I do not know. However I am accused of being very selfish!
give him a month or two?
In a month or two my Granddaughter will forget me

 

[Kiki]

sorry to hear about their loss, but life goes on. her Father would want him to have a nice birthday. i think it is selfish to not celebrate life...we do this one time only here on earth. i would reach out to him and invite him and family or just him out or over for dinner...that is your son...you gave birth to him even if he is 34 years old...he is still your baby....just do not be pushy...do it in love...i know mothers can be territorial, but respect his family...it is definitely ok to honor him on his special day! his wife should too...

 

[jmd72inva]

I'm sorry- sounds like a difficult situation. I would approach this slowly and gently. Absolutely acknowledge your son's birthday. Invite him out to dinner at a nice restaurant, just you 2. Keep the conversation as light as possible. Ask him to have dinner again a bit later, then broach the subject of seeing your granddaughter. Be patient- without knowing the back story, its hard to know how long the relationship "mend" could take.

edit...I'm sorry- it sounds like you need to give the space he is asking for...try again in a month or two...again, not sure why there is a rift, but it sounds like a biggie

good luck

 

[Kris A]

i don't know what happened but somehow you got stuck on the wrong side of the fence.

i think, if i were you, I'd back off for a while and let things cool down!!! if you want to give him a gift, make it small and mail it.