Need to painlessly poison and kill my neighbor's dogs?

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If the useless fucking authorities would do something about this problem then people wouldn't need to go to extreme lengths. In my country it's a council issue but they make any complainant jump through hoops for months and then find any excuse in order NOT to prosecute....that's after they have fueled a full scale neighbourhood war.

The police wont even respond to a noisy dog complaint.

If the enforcement was removed from the councils and given to the police who had the power to issue on the spot fines, after a reasonable warning or 2 then this problem would vanish in no time. People get peace and the government gets revenue....everybody wins.

The same goes for wankers playing doof doof at 3am.
 
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#711 is absolutely right. If a neighbour refuses to quieten a noisy dog, the authorities will invariably do nothing. Dog owners know this so if they're of the irresponsible type they will ignore requests to quieten their dog. The unfortunate consequence is that people have realised that it's better not to say anything (to avoid suspicion) and to take extreme action if the situation gets really bad.

It's mad that you can get into serious trouble for saying something that's a bit un-PC yet you can get away with ruining your neighbour's lives.
 
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Interesting that other threads like "Should I feed poochie-woochie smoked salmon or filet mignon" get 3 replies while we're up to 70 pages and counting. Fact is most people do NOT want to hear barking dogs and until the law recognises that there will be plenty of people seeking a way to eliminate the problem as discreetly as possible. Yes there are trolls - doggy-lovers who come on here and act all tough and threaten to rape our sisters and suchlike when their time would be better spent training their wretched animals not to make anti-social noise. We are serious - WE DO NOT WANT DOGS BOTHERING US and we understand that if all that stands between us and the basic qualities of life is a stupid, dumb toy animal, that dog has to go.

If you don't like what we're discussing - and that is your right - get off this thread. Otherwise you're trolling.

U fucking basted your gonna kill dogs cos they bark ? larn ro live with it u peice of SHIT have some respect crultey to aminals will PUT YOU IN HELL! U kill a dog i wanna kill YOU scumfuck!!!!!!!!!
 
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U fucking basted your gonna kill dogs cos they bark ? larn ro live with it u peice of SHIT have some respect crultey to aminals will PUT YOU IN HELL! U kill a dog i wanna kill YOU scumfuck!!!!!!!!!

This post right here sums up most dog owners perfectly. They don't care that people are being kept awake night after night and expect you to just live with it. The mere mention of someone harming their slobbering monstrosity of a pet sends them into a homicidal rage.

It makes the sweet salvation of rat poison just that bit more tempting.
 
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U fucking basted your gonna kill dogs cos they bark ? larn ro live with it u peice of SHIT have some respect crultey to aminals will PUT YOU IN HELL! U kill a dog i wanna kill YOU scumfuck!!!!!!!!!

Basted? No, no, no! Sauted or lightly grilled please, or even better, slowly roasted in piquant juices with a hint of tarragon. But not basted!

This guy must have had a hell of a problem if he got the 27 + 13 question at the verification stage! Or is this someone taking the piss? Genuine or not, the reply from the guy above me is spot on.
 
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It's interesting the number of angry dog owners that find this thread. I wonder if they have a nuisance dog and are worried someone is going to poison it so they google it?

Here's a protip mutt owners.....quieten your dog and it won't have to suffer a slow agonising death when a neighbor finally snaps.
 
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My neighbour's little doggy
Even when it's foggy
Barks and barks and barks
It's really having larks.

It's just so bad
It drives me mad
At every peep
I just can't sleep.

It has me on my knees
So I bought some antifreeze
And with that, me ol' mucker
I'm going to kill that motherfucker.

(With apologies to all real poets past and present!)
 
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If I caught a person killiing my dog I can promise you I would put a bullet in that mans brain.
 
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why in the world would you want to poision a living thing? You do not have a heart! dogs may not know better. But humans do!!!! You could just go over and talk to your neighbor. You can bring up to them that there is a law for having a certain amount of dogs depending on where you are living. Where I am living you can only have 2 dogs. if you have more then 2 the pound can pick up the dogs. if you poision those does dogs you are not human but an animal. You are not better then those does for what they have done to your cat. Why are others helping suggest things to you? They are just as guilty. Others should give other suggestions a more human way. Can you really be that cruel? YOU WILL FEEL guilty!!!! Carma will come and bite you back!!!
 
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What's the difference between a nuisance dog and an onion?

When you chop up an onion you cry instead of laugh!
 
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oh hi watcher, still making e-threats brah?

The big tough hard man is not going to come back under his username! I can't help but feel a bit bad about it as winning a battle of words with the Watcher is a bit like winning a fight with a five-year-old. Perhaps the kiddy-fiddler jokes were truer to home than we realised and he's too busy threatening his kids into explaining away their anal bruises in case the state police/FBI come round.

To stay on topic, there's a recent story from the UK in which some guy's successfully poisoned dogs using rat poison sandwiches and slug pellets. Food for thought there.

Food for noisy dogs too of course.
 
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Can you really be that cruel? YOU WILL FEEL guilty!!!! Carma will come and bite you back!!!

Yes, I can be that cruel and if you were kept awake night after night by a stupid yapping barkbox so could you. I wouldn't hurt any animal for the hell of it but when you're provoked that much, you just want the fucking thing to DIE and if it suffers as a result, that's just too bad.

I will feel guilty? No, I won't. I'll just make sure I don't get caught.

What does it take to get through to stupid dog owners that not everyone likes, wants or is prepared to put up with their stupid pets?
 
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To stay on topic, there's a recent story from the UK in which some guy's successfully poisoned dogs using rat poison sandwiches and slug pellets. Food for thought there.

Food for noisy dogs too of course.

Nice.

Rat poison = Man's best friend
 
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why in the world would you want to poision a living thing? You do not have a heart! dogs may not know better. But humans do!!!! You could just go over and talk to your neighbor. You can bring up to them that there is a law for having a certain amount of dogs depending on where you are living. Where I am living you can only have 2 dogs. if you have more then 2 the pound can pick up the dogs. if you poision those does dogs you are not human but an animal. You are not better then those does for what they have done to your cat. Why are others helping suggest things to you? They are just as guilty. Others should give other suggestions a more human way. Can you really be that cruel? YOU WILL FEEL guilty!!!! Carma will come and bite you back!!!

Spot on! You see, people who want to harm a helpless creature are nobodies, losers to society. Have no friends or family and have to take it out on harmless creatures to make them feel better about their pathetic lives.
 
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That's nice bro, what are you going to do about everyone else's dog? That's right, nothing hahah

So has anyone come up with a slower way to dispose of these varmints? Rat poison is nice and slow but whiny faggots like watcher just make a person want to kill them even slower.

Oh and that person in the UK is doing a great job....they so mad.
 
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The Dog Poisoner's Handbook

I'm sure the OP is no longer reading this thread but there are plenty of people who are still asking for help so here's my pennyworth of advice.

It's pretty easy to get away with killing a dog so long as you're careful. That's because the nuisance value of the dog is in direct proportion to the stupidity of the owner. Do a little internet research and you'll see that there are many idiots who just don't realise that their dogs annoy people. I've seen discussions where people tearfully write "Someone tried to poison my dog!" and anyone who interrupts the pathetically sentimental outpourings of sympathy to suggest that perhaps the dog was annoying someone nearby is subjected to torrents of abuse. "You'll be killing kids next" is the most common, followed by "How could you hurt an icky-wicky lickle doggy? I'm going to kill you!"

So if a dog's annoying you, you can be almost certain that the owner won't suspect you if you kill it UNLESS you have said something. Then you'll be marked down in their books as a dog hater and your hands are tied.

It takes a while to realise that the dog that is going to drive you mad is a serious problem. It's in the early stages that most people (as I did, the first time) make the mistake of going round to see the owner and trying to be reasonable.

The owner won't be reasonable. They'll at best make vague promises they won't keep, at worst be hostile. So SAY NOTHING! Don't swear at the dog (difficult I know); don't even look at it nastily. Certainly don't call the council or police. Grit your teeth and pretend that it doesn't bother you, so that if the problem becomes really bad you can poison the dog.

If you're above suspicion you can keep trying until you succeed. The owner loves his/her pooch so much that he'll think that anyone who's trying to kill the dog must be a psycho and you'll be in the clear. So long as you haven't communicated your dislike of the dog IN ANY WAY. It's best to pretend you like it though that's certainly not easy.

Slug pellets in sufficient quantity will kill a dog as will rat poison, antifreeze or ground glass mixed with meat. Yes it's cruel and inhumane but your needs are greater than the dog's so tough luck Snuffles.

Don't forget: Always buy materials out of town; PAY CASH for them and buy them somewhere impersonal; get rid of excess materials and packaging in a dumpster/skip a long way from your home; use gloves to avoid fingerprints and above all, NEVER say anything to anyone.

Good luck!
 
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whats going on faggots? Sorry I've been away so long. I have this job I have to go to. Sometimes its for days at a time. My dog has free roam of my yard and house. Came home after 3 days at work and he's just fine. Got a new gun too but for some reason I can post another pic. It will have to wait! Soooo long gay boys!!

Welcome back! 3 days at work...yeah that's tough. I guess it must be a real bummer having to cross three states to sell your vids of you sodomizing your kids. Exciting that you've got a new gun though. Why not use it to blow your brains out! I'm sure that the hardest guy in the USA will be a good shot so small targets won't present you with a problem!
 
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ya my neighbor has two big and I mean bigger than me dogs they really give me a hard time and have bite my sister but its better to ask the owners first about a humane way to d it and btw they have places for people like you creeps who kill animals with nice soft walls and cosy jackets just tell your local police and you can fit right in with this nice guy named michael vick he can tell you all the best was to do bad things to animals
 
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