Need to painlessly poison and kill my neighbor's dogs?

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And here is what I found about crushed/ground glass:

"In 1642, the writer and physician, Sir Thomas Browne, described in his book, Pseudodoxia Epidemica, how he tested this myth on dogs – and how he debunked it. (I guess he didn’t have to deal with a Grants Committee or an Ethics Committee). He wrote, “That Glass is poison, according unto common conceit, I know not how to grant … from experience, as having given unto Dogs above a dram thereof, subtilly (sic) powdered in Butter and Paste, without any visible disturbance”.

More recently, in 1916, a poisoner in New York City testified that he had tried to use ground glass to kill people, but that it had proved to be useless.

Since then, many people have written about this supposed toxicity of ground glass, but probably the nicest summary comes from Dr. D. P. Lyle, who wrote the enticingly-entitled Forensics for Dummies. In another of his books, Murder and Mayhem, A Doctor Answers Medical and Forensic Questions for Mystery Writers, he answers the ground glass conundrum. He writes that “very fine glass is unlikely to cause any lethal damage to the Gastro Intestinal tract … Even with coarser glass, the bleeding would probably not be massive or life-threatening, but slow and (would) lead to anaemia and fatigue.”

The gut is a very dynamic organ, writhing around as it does in that space between the bottom of your lungs and the top of your legs. It is also dynamic on its inside. It both grinds your food very finely in the stomach, as well as pushing it along the 8-metre-or-so length of the gut and out into your toilet bowl. Long skinny splinters of glass would definitely cause problems as it got shoved along your gut – but you would certainly notice it as you chewed your meal.

And yes, chunks of jagged glass the size of matchheads would cause bleeding as they rubbed against the soft interior of your gut - but while it was in your mouth, you would have to notice the unexpectedly rough texture of your meal. You would still notice the glass if it were ground as finely as sand (ever had a picnic on a windy day at the beach?). If the glass were ground so finely that you didn’t notice its presence in your mouth, then neither would your gut.

There might be an intermediate grain size of ground glass which you wouldn’t notice eating, but which would cause some minor bleeding, which you would notice in the toilet bowl - and then you could denounce your murderously transparent relative as a Pain in the Glass… Should you really wish to use glass as a murder weapon, do try a broken bottle."

So that's another urban myth busted.
 
Help us God

On silencing dogs using common foods/household items

Onion, chocolate, nuts, Aspirin, painkillers....we've all heard how "oh so dangerous" cant these products be to pet owners precious dogs. The truth is, it would take an immense amount of any of these things to actually silence a dog for good. See, the term "poisonous" is used loosely around the internet and vets use these to scare potential customers to pay them a visit: "Oh, your dog ate a piece of gum?? BUT IT CONTAINS XYLYTOL, and it CAN be poisonous to dogs, BRING YOUR DOG IN HERE immediately so we can charge you $200 to "cure" it" ...

The reality it, there is a long, loooong way from "poisonous" to "deadly". A poisoning will result in vomit, general illness, temporary discomfort. In order for a poison to be lethal, it has to be in really high quantity. LOL at the idea of poisoning a dog with onions, for example...Quote:

"Consumption of as little as 5 g/kg of onions in cats or 15 to 30 g/kg in dogs has resulted in clinically important hematologic changes. Onion toxicosis is consistently noted in animals that ingest more than 0.5% of their body weight in onions at one time.*"

30grams per kg? Let's take the average the average annoying neighbor dog - 10kg at least, more commonly - 20kg weight. 20kg * 30g = 600g of onions...have you seen what 600g of onions look like? Now get a dog to eat those...not an easy task, right? Also note the language used "has resulted in clinically important hematologic changes.", meaning not really death.

The problem is, dogs' autoimmune system is very strong, much like rats. They will tolerate and survive poisons which would easily and quickly kill a grown man. They say their bodies can temporarily "shut down" vital organs while they heal and survive without them, like liver and kidneys.

Reality is, if you're dealing with a medium-large sized dog, nothing short of a highly toxic, industrial strength poison or a pesticide is going to help. Don't waste your attempts on trying out urban myths like human medications (you would need insanely high doses, like 100s of times larger than what would kill a man), foods of ANY kind- nuts, cocoa, chocolate, anything that can be safely consumed by humans is not going to kill a dog unless you feed it some enormous amount.
 
You people are all sick and should go to h***. Maybe he should poisen your cats instead. You sick f***!


Feed the dog chocolate-macadamia cookies. as many as you can. I killed like 30 this way. Or you can get microwavable meatballs and stuff them with rat poison. as many as you can, toss them where dog is.
 
Really you could put any kind of chemical into some sort of raw meat and it would work. Why? Because dogs are dumb shit heads. Anyway, I'm really sorry about your cat!! I know how you feel. Maybe someday all dogs will go to hell where they belong. ;)
 
If only it were possible to kill all dogs in a specific area at the press of a button!
 
I tried a week ago but I used pins instead of needles. Put a total of 8 pins inside 3 byte-sized pieces of sausage (2-3 in each), saw him eat all 3, nothing happened :-( I'm seriously beginning to contemplate sneaking into this yard late at night and hammer the dog's head or beat it to death with a shovel but I'm afraid of getting bitten when it inevitably attacks me once I get on the other side of the fence.

Try using small fishing hooks instead of pins. Yes, I hate dogs and their retarded owners.

Good luck!
 
I can't believe the evil shit spouted on here. Contact the police and the American version of the royal society for protection of cruelty to animals!
 
I can't believe the evil shit spouted on here. Contact the police and the American version of the royal society for protection of cruelty to animals!

Man, you're SO RIGHT!!! This evil stuff needs to be reported to the police IMMEDIATELY!! And the FBI and the CIA and MI5 and NASA and KFC!

I’ve already contacted the police. Here is what I wrote:

Dear Police

I realise you’re probably quite busy chasing murderers and rapists and drug dealers and terrorists, but please DROP EVERYTHING because I want to report a really SERIOUS crime that requires your URGENT attention! There’s a web site where people want to kill LITTLE DOGGIES! These people are EVIL and SICK because they want to poison an INNOCENT little DOGGY just because it’s kept them awake every night with its barking or because it’s poos in their yard or is a danger to their children! They even swop ideas about how to poison the LITTLE DOGGY! They are worse than CHARLES MANSON! All the ways they suggest are available on dog-friendly sites so at the very least you could get them for COPYRIGHT THEFT which we know is as bad as STEALING A CAR. I know that because I saw the anti-piracy advert!

So please forget about the guy who’s beating up his wife or abusing his kids or planning to blow up a 747. This is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! These people who want to kill INNOCENT LITTLE DOGGIES are the REAL criminals! They should be given the ELECTRIC CHAIR! They’re worse than HITLER! Please ACT NOW before it’s TOO LATE and some MURDERING HOMICIDAL BLOODTHIRSTY MANIAC tries to kill a LITTLE DOGGY just because he’s SO SELFISH he doesn’t want to hear it barking all night!

Yours faithfully

A concerned citizen who LOVES DOGS and has his PRIORITIES absolutely RIGHT!!!!
 
YOU GUYS ARE SICKOS I CAN NOT BELIVE YOU WHOULd EVER TRY lTO PURPOSELY TRY TO KILL A INNOCENT CREATURE BASTARDS!!!! ITS THE OWNERS FAULT FOR TRAINING IT LIKE THAT NOT THE POOR DOG!!! GET A HEART GODD!!
 
YOU GUYS ARE SICKOS I CAN NOT BELIVE YOU WHOULd EVER TRY lTO PURPOSELY TRY TO KILL A INNOCENT CREATURE BASTARDS!!!! ITS THE OWNERS FAULT FOR TRAINING IT LIKE THAT NOT THE POOR DOG!!! GET A HEART GODD!!

Thus speaks another moronic and illiterate dog lover.

I can forgive stupid and illiterate - after all some people are unlucky enough to be born with a low IQ and not everyone gets a decent education for one reason or another.

Ignorance is another matter. If the guy who shouts in capital letters actually bothered to read the thread rather than reacting to the title (assuming s/he can read), it would be obvious to him or her that this isn't some sort of "cruel pleasures" thread. The people who come here are threatened by dogs who kill their pets, or are a danger to their children or keep them awake every night with constant barking. I belonged to the last group and it's not pleasant living in fear that you'll fall asleep at the wheel and kill yourself and perhaps someone else's innocent child.

All over the world we have no support from the authorities when it comes to nuisance dogs. In the UK the police are more concerned with catching people driving 5 mph over the speed limit and the councils are more interested in enforcing politically correct bullshit. Here in Central Europe you might be able to make friends with a copper and bribe him to deal with the bad dog owner but don't count on it - and as for the councils they're more bothered with creating bureaucracy than anything else. You'd have thought that in the US there would be less of a problem as things seem to work pretty well there, but many of the posters here are American so obviously the issue's the same there.

That's why, when failed by the bureaucratic system, we resort to the only way left to rid ourselves of nuisance dogs. I defy anybody to deny that they haven't, momentarily, wished that the home improvement nut or wannabe drummer in the flat/house next door, or the people digging up the road at 7am on a Saturday would have a heart attack. The difference is that scum though they may be, they are human beings and taking their life is wrong. A dog is an animal that has no intelligence and forfeits its rights when it interferes with a person's life.

That's why people kill dogs and will continue to do so while imbeciles like the poster to whom I've replied exist.
 
YOU GUYS ARE***snip***
You have a room-temperature I.Q. I am being charitable with that rating, even when using the Celsius scale of measurement.

Ranting like that does nothing. It is not even amusing, so I stopped reading after the third word, since somebody who cannot manage the "caps lock" button on his keyboard obviously cannot compose any written message of merit.

My wife has two dogs that, for lack of better words, simply stink. For the sake of our noses, they have to be kept outside. The problem for me and my neighbors is that they bark all night, and even a piece of lumber smashed down on their heads does nothing to stop them for good. They smart a little from it (they're pretty big mutts), and then one hour later they are at it again. I can almost set a watch by the half-dozen times I wake up each night to silence them. The circles under my eyes tell me that something has to be done. My wife is an inconsiderate bitch if she thinks the neighbors are not annoyed.

I've made it clear that she must find a suitable abode for these unkempt mongrels away from our home. I do not care whether she takes them to the dog pound, or finds a roof to put over their heads; it must be away from our residence.

If she fails to do what is needed this week, I will take them for a drive about 20 miles west into the wide open plains with a few plastic heavy-duty garbage bags, one of my pistols, and a few rounds of ammunition. I will not waste any energy digging a proper grave. Once the deed is done, into the bags they go, and then into a convenient dumpster on my way back home.

Trust me, I will be smiling on the way out, and grinning on the way back.
 
Just wanted to add that I have been thoroughly entertained by all the ideas listed. Tree huggers, cut it out. Any animal that the majority says shouldn't be eaten is a useless animal.
 
One of the most convenient circumstances is where the neighbor's dog attempts to gain entry to your yard by digging a hole under the fence separating the two properties. At first, the dog would bark and growl furiously whenever I was in my own yard, and I could see his jaws snapping away under the fence where he stuck his muzzle into the hole. This was a golden opportunity.

I gained the dog's trust by feeding him dog biscuits for a couple weeks, first sporadically, then almost daily, through that hole under the fence. I then tried to see if he would accept a small tab of dark chocolate. Thankfully, he ate it immediately, and that nose under the fence stayed there, swaying left-to-right and back as we wagged his tail. I wanted to make sure he would eat chocolate before applying the coup de grâce, and since his gobbled it down, onward to phase 2 of the plan.

I enlarged the dog's hole longitudinally into my yard using a drain spade, turning it into a little trench. I kept the plug of sod and soil in a wheelbarrow and kept it lightly watered to keep the turf green. More on that later.

This enabled me to fit into the trench one of those discardable thin, long, rather thick aluminum foil cooking pan that will fit, say, one big burrito. The formed aluminum easily re-formed to the contours of my new earthwoks.

Early Saturday evening became the target time. For my next action, I had to feed "my new canine friend" a fresh bar of chocolate laxative. After gobbling down a couple tabs of the chocolate bowel cleanser, I eased the pan forward into the trench, the pan now suitably filled with antifreeze. It didn't hold much, and at first he just sniffed it for a couple minutes. I thought he was going to hold out indefinitely for more chocolate laxative. However, once he ventured a cautious taste of the antifreeze, he kept lapping it up. To all those wondering, I used 50:50 pre-mix, and I'm glad I kept the jug close by, as the dog required several toppings up of his beverage.

I pulled the tray back, and that expectant muzzle eased into view once again. I dropped a couple tabs of chocolate laxative into the trench, and he continued eating each offering until he finished the remainder of the package.

Now back to the wheelbarrow so I could retrieve the plug of sod and deposit it back into the trench. It once again looked like a simple hole dug by the dog, nothing more.

That dog became my best friend that Saturday evening, because the best-liked mutt in my view is a dead one. Just try to find a veterinarian on Saturday at that hour. Of course, I heard they did very eventually find one, and that the pet doctor treated the dog for glycol poisoning, but did not foresee my one-two punch of phenolphthalein and ethylene glycol.

The silence is wonderful. Oh, by the way, they still haven't filled in the hole that their mongrel dug under the fence. That's okay. That "action site" will be available to me again should they get another dog.

Cheers!
 
Re above: Excellent post - well done for the forward planning and congratulations on the result!

The dog that annoys me isn't directly next door so I can't carry out the same plan, unfortunately. The good news is that there is a small but real chance that the dog may wander into my garden. I am prepared for that eventuality as I have a nice new hammer with which I will smash the little bastard's skull before putting it into the heavy duty garden bag I have all ready and waiting.

The anticipation of driving that hammer into the mutt's useless brain almost makes the barking bearable!
 
i know this add is old now but just came across it ! i do not know how this story ended hoping there was no crime ! to the owner of the cats i say i can see how it feels for you but try understand that the dogs did nothing wrong for them but it is the dogs owner that is to blame try talk to him in good way if he does not listen there is always the police to sort this out ! Do not be afraid to have your rights
 
Is there a way to incapacitate the dog so it still lives but doesn't/can't bark?

Killing the barking dog will solve the problem in he short term but the neighbour will probably get another fairly soon after that may be even worse! You can kill that too if it's a pest, and I wouldn't blame you if you did, but you're more likely to get caught every tie you have to deal with the problem.

If it's possible to somehow fuck up the dog's vocal cords or inflict such pain that it's terrified to make a sound, wouldn't that be better? Most (but not all, alas) people won't want more than one pooch and they probably won't even notice if the bastard suddenly takes a vow of silence.

Probably the best way is to introduce acid to the dog's throat but have any of the sages on here any idea how to do this without incurring legal consequences?

(Dog lovers: yes I know I'm sick and going to hell and all the rest, but I'll gladly hurt any animal as much as necessary to shut it up and no amount of abuse is going to change that. So stay away.)
 
here is my problem, i have a dog and everytime i let my dog go out , our neighbors dog ran towards my dog.. and they fight.. all i can say is that their dog has no discipline.. its so stupid, no collars, no grooming, (all i know is that they got their dog just on the streets,,,,, fyi. they live in squatters are before.. when they came here in this clean subdivision, im so pissed off everytime i go out without my dog.. their dogs runs towards me and barking, showing his ling teeth... wtf they just dont mind the dog, they just shout "hey doggie dont do that" and thats it..thats all they would do ... their dog is wierd... even im on my window lurking their dogs starts to bark... f*$&*&%.. last night i threw some rat poison 1 pack mixed with food.. nothing happened, even the MSG mix.. nothing?!?!??!?!....BDW my dog has a collar and their hasnt... im going to kill that dog once and for all...i might hire some guys to kill that... that dog really hos no discipline, they just let it out on their house all day and night...:pick ear:
 
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