Ilikeyourbearde
New member
- Jul 5, 2010
- 2
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Okay, I just started writing this within the last 10 minutes.
I just wanted to know if it's well-written, and a good place to start a story.
I know it's INCREDIBLY short, but does it pull you in? Do you want to read more?
If you have any critisism, don't fail to tell me
Thanks!
:
The repulsive creature whispered the old prophecy in words which seemed like magic, it's long, sharp tongue occasionaly slipping from its mouth and slithering its way towards her.
"Red of ancient blood, Blue of the poisoned water, thy Myseria shall lie, thou shall not awaken till thy tie of female, Myseria like thou of a Jerpha, blood bound thou shall be!" It hissed, and a glowing, garnet tint drowned her eyes as she stood, possessed by the being which stood before her.
I just wanted to know if it's well-written, and a good place to start a story.
I know it's INCREDIBLY short, but does it pull you in? Do you want to read more?
If you have any critisism, don't fail to tell me
Thanks!
:
The repulsive creature whispered the old prophecy in words which seemed like magic, it's long, sharp tongue occasionaly slipping from its mouth and slithering its way towards her.
"Red of ancient blood, Blue of the poisoned water, thy Myseria shall lie, thou shall not awaken till thy tie of female, Myseria like thou of a Jerpha, blood bound thou shall be!" It hissed, and a glowing, garnet tint drowned her eyes as she stood, possessed by the being which stood before her.