I think the primary difference is that the transgender gets to enjoy the rewards of their decision. I think a lot of people who contemplate suicide are really trying to elicit a response. And that's not a criticism. It's a very natural thing to do. But when I thought about suicide, many years ago, what I was consistently picturing in my head was things like:
That girlfriend who dumped me deeply regretting her decisionPeople wishing they'd done more to help, to listen, to actMe with a sort of triumphant "that'll show them" thing going
The big problem, of course, is that (unlike the transgender) the suicide completer is never around to "enjoy" any of the rewards he's been envisioning. He's simply gone.
So what I'm wondering is whether such people don't actually just want someone to listen, help, be there, etc. And I think they need to go straight to a more realistic and intuitive way to get to that point.
I used to think that seeking professional help was a sort of cop out, like it meant I couldn't hack it. What I came to realize, though, is that the opposite is true. It takes guts to acknowledge that you need help with something, brains to locate and use the appropriate resources, and resolve to follow through on a plan that will actually get you where you want to be.
But EVERY ONE OF THOSE THINGS is predicated on getting up every day. I don't believe that the vast majority of people who say they want to be dead actually do. They just want things to change.
So... If you could wake up tomorrow, and have everything changed to look precisely the way you want, what does it look like?
It's a deceptively difficult question to answer. But that's often what we really want. Not to be gone entirely. Just to be different than we are right now. Time handles some of that all on its own. And a good training plan, just as in martial arts, can handle the rest.
without wanting to sound harsh the only parallel I can see is that both - and there's going to be a large overlap subset - groups will be seen as selfish by other living cisgender people. It sounds like you're opening a whole can of worms about consciousness, the role of family, society and human existence and it's waaay too hot for my little brain to cope with such a debate.... We take on a responsibility for our bodies but it feels like no one has really filled the void, explained what is the point in life, sometimes we go through school and have an idea of a direction, some of it is societal and familial pressure to fulfill a particular occupation and role. I was completely lost at 16 and have kinda drifted along with changes since. As someone who was sectioned a few years back I would say however cliched it sounds that it does get better, though you might pick what makes you feel better about yourself, and have to be a bit selfish towards your own happiness over other peoples whether family, SO, friends etc. So much in life is competitive it feels like there is more pressure to succeed in something anything than ever before.... and to use MA as a metaphor, some of us will find a style and thats it we stick it out for decades, others will want some variety, I know you mentioned your lil brother has done well in competition, some will have that combination of talent and luck, though alas most of us wont