parents and non parents.

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reject

Member
Nah, I've known a couple of people who were freaked and grossed-out around kids. I don't think it's that unusual, though most change their mind at some point in their lives.

It's not your views that I find odd, it's the "community" of people who get together to bitch about kids and parents that befuddles me
 
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waitingeeeee

New member
Jeez, this thread moves way too fast : )

Just to clarify, when people have said "you can't understand what it's like to be a parent unless you are a parent": I assume that they mean that you can't understand fully. And that Blade thinks they mean that you can't understand at all. Correct me if I'm wrong.

In my understanding, prejudice refers to attutudes towards a group or category of people. It's not necessarily a bad thing; meeting new people would be very difficult without prejudices. It certainly does not presuppose a lack of knowledge about the category you have prejudices towards, but it does mean that you tend to apply this knowledge wholesale to the entire category.

And my final point. To the person involved, raising a child is probably the most significant thing they will ever do. It represents an enormous committment to another person. It will probably bring a new and novel relationship into their lives. And it will contribute (for better or worse) to the future of humanity. All of which are points we can acknowledge when we congratulate a new parent. It's perfectly valid to point out that many, many people have children. On a global scale it's not very significant. But, for the overwhelming majority of people, that's true for everything they do. Saying as much is certainly true, but it is equally meaningless.
 
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saraphin88

New member
I wasn't going to keep playing but....

Ladies and gentleman, may I propose a hypothesis.

A spectrum exists in terms of the liking of small fry. At one end sits people that think all children are the epitome of wonderful, at the other are folks that literally hate them. Almost all of us occupy some part of the middle ground. Even people who have kids, if they are honest with themselves, would probably confess that they like their own more than other peoples, indicating that their capacity to 'like' children is also has a degree of variation to it.

Blade would seem to occupy a different position on this continuum than many of the rest of us, but, well, you get that. I am as wierded out by the need to associate over such a (for me) odd issue, it is by no means the oddest community out there in the wild and crazy web. That would be the folks who do exotic things to one another while dressed up in a variety of animal costumes. Fluffies, I believe?

Blade, the thing I think you are missing with the respect to the whole 'understanding' of parenting thing is the hard science that exists around bonding and the chemical changes that occur in the brain as a consequence of it. If you want I can go on a hunt and provide references, but suffice to say this is a well trodden piece of ground research wise. Simply put we are gentically designed to bond with kin, and as situations like adoption demonstrate, this set of responses can extend beyond pure kinship. Upon reflection, a better analogy than the sexual one that I used earlier would be taking hallucinagenic drugs. Yes you can understand everything in the world about things like neuro plasticity, but the experience of it will elude you.

paul
 
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IlPoetaDeiGiovani

New member
Yes. I 100% agree. That is the real achievement. And in this wild and crazy world filled with a lot of bat crap crazy humans, it is an achievement when someone raises a good one.

when saved in blood raises a great son who's a good human, I'll congratulate him then.






Actually, no. When my cat sits anywhere, I still dont have to worry that she might crapon me. or anywhere else. And she is very very clean, she's always grooming. she isnt a messy eater, she isnt boring, and her personality is incredible.

But, even kittens wont suddenly crap in your lap. You see,newborn kittens have tobe stimulated before they can eliminate. The mother cat does that by grooming them.



Uh, yeah.
 
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Relicaaaatt

New member
On a lighter note. Anyone else experience the following? (It does kind of tie in to some of the ways this thread has drifted. I hope this isn't too far off topic.)

For some bizarre reason, kids at my MA school love to gravitate towards my workout space. I don't have a particularly good rapport with kids- about average I imagine.

But I can be in our huge workout room all alone and kids will end up working out RIGHT NEXT to me- even if I am wielding weapons. Like, they have the WHOLE OTHER END of the space to do their workouts, but they end up crowding me.

In my instructors special tournament classes she has for her students before our annual tournament, the kids constantly slowly move close to me. Even when we are all spread out. My instructor has to remind the kids several times during class to give space. They don't do it to the others in the class, just me. I am the only adult student my instructor has.

I pointed this out to her and she noticed it is true. We kind of exchange looks and quietly laugh about it whenever it happens.

If there are other adults in the room, they will still end up in my workout space over the other adults.

In the couple of group classes that are not separated by age (weapons class being one of them) same deal. Encroachment towards me.

I really can't figure out why this happens to me in particular. It doesn't even seem like a conscious move by the kids.

It used to annoy me, but it is amusing now. I am just bolder about asking for the kids to give me space to do my thing when it happens.

I know it sounds weird, but I swear it is true. Anyone else experience this?
 
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Luvmy2boys

New member
So how much of this parenting is biological and how much circumstance?
Does the fact the the little darlings are yours have anything to do with the love you show them or is it simply being their guardian/carer?
 
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RaceyGirl

Member
No cat is ever really clean.
They crap in the dirt (usually in someone else's garden or a kiddies sand pit) scrape the sand/dirt over the poo with their paws and then lick their paws and spread the poo/dirt over their heads.
Then they lick their genitals.
They kill wild animals that themselves host all sorts of diseases and parasites.
Cat bites very often go septic because of the amount of bacteria in their mouths. Cat scratches too.
They are also one of the main carriers of toxoplasmosis.

You are simply applying a very poor double standard to hygeine because you like cats and hate kids.
Confirmation bias basically.

Have you ever owned a dog?
What did you do with its crap?
Leave it for someone else to sort out?
Does your cat crap in a litter box?
What do you do with that?
 
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IndependentExtremist

Member
I always thought that changing a dirty nappy would be something that I'd have to leave to the missus, because I'd throw up if I tried to do it. But when I became a dad, I found that it really didn't bother me at all. I wouldn't say it was a pleasant job, but it didn't revolt me as much as I'd always assumed it would.

It's things like that that are different when it's your own kid. Your body must release special poo-tolerance hormones or something.
 
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crossblades400

New member
It happens to me too! I'm not a fan of kids, but they seem to like me. I think they sense the fear and move towards it to get a reaction - kind of like cats! Cats always gravitate towards people who hate them - it's in their evil nature! We had 2 Siamese years ago, who would always sit one either side of my aunt who loathed cats, and ignore my uncle who loved them!
 
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bridluc772000

Member
Wait till your cat gets old and incontinent, or gets a stomach bug. Then they do crap everywhere and will try and sit on your knee whilst covered in poop. They also have no problem vomiting all over the floor when the need takes them.
 
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