KaiaKrazzy
New member
Hey Guys 
I have just wrote this [[It is a rather rough copy]] I was wondering if I could get some opinions on it?
Any Constructive Criticism would be greatly Appreciated
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I’m Cara, a Shifter from The Glass Star, our race feeds off sunlight, and we photosynthesise to survive. Our kind is often thought as a myth because we are one of the most the most educated species among our galaxy; we can control minds of other creatures also. But we have a problem.
The neon blue, glass star of our galaxy was dying rapidly. And we know when it does; we won’t adapt. To resolve this problem, we must go to another planet that is suitable for us and invade, and after vast research we discovered Earth.
So, two billion Shifters invaded, myself included.
After two years of invasion, Cara, a Hunter arrived with her co-worker Dia to take over headship of Hunters in the British division. A Hunter is a Shifter that finds stray humans still now illegally obscure themselves on the surface on the planet. Humans are only allowed to live underground now; the Shifters had hallowed the crust of Earth and recreated the entire surface underground for them to live while they trail the globe.
Cara was only there to hunt and trail the planet, nothing more. But when she tried to control a certain human, Jason, she accidently inflicts pain upon herself. Determined to find the reason why she cannot control this human in particular, she secretly takes him up to the surface to run tests among his body, but what she didn’t expect was for things to heat up between the pair and for them to both give in to each other and become traitors to both their species’…
Can you really hurt the one you love?
©Emily Debont
_________________________
Thank you
[[I'm thirteen, by the way.]]
xx
I have just wrote this [[It is a rather rough copy]] I was wondering if I could get some opinions on it?Any Constructive Criticism would be greatly Appreciated
__________________________
I’m Cara, a Shifter from The Glass Star, our race feeds off sunlight, and we photosynthesise to survive. Our kind is often thought as a myth because we are one of the most the most educated species among our galaxy; we can control minds of other creatures also. But we have a problem.
The neon blue, glass star of our galaxy was dying rapidly. And we know when it does; we won’t adapt. To resolve this problem, we must go to another planet that is suitable for us and invade, and after vast research we discovered Earth.
So, two billion Shifters invaded, myself included.
After two years of invasion, Cara, a Hunter arrived with her co-worker Dia to take over headship of Hunters in the British division. A Hunter is a Shifter that finds stray humans still now illegally obscure themselves on the surface on the planet. Humans are only allowed to live underground now; the Shifters had hallowed the crust of Earth and recreated the entire surface underground for them to live while they trail the globe.
Cara was only there to hunt and trail the planet, nothing more. But when she tried to control a certain human, Jason, she accidently inflicts pain upon herself. Determined to find the reason why she cannot control this human in particular, she secretly takes him up to the surface to run tests among his body, but what she didn’t expect was for things to heat up between the pair and for them to both give in to each other and become traitors to both their species’…
Can you really hurt the one you love?
©Emily Debont
_________________________
Thank you
[[I'm thirteen, by the way.]]
xx