I wrote a short story and I wanted it rated:
Memory Lane
Lily Fember didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. The wind blew through her hair as she sped up on the freeway, the head lights of her black Matte motorcycle illuminated the empty streets ahead.
Thinking back, she wondered why they did it. The fights, the harsh words and the slap of flesh on flesh. The black angry bruises that blossomed on white skin for all to see. They were supposed to love each other, weren't they?
Shaking her head, she pushed the gas a little more. The purr of the bike pulsed through her like an angry heart beat. She knew this bike from the back of her hand. The pure original sound it made.
The yellow lights on street corners blurred as she felt the wet, hot sting of unwelcome tears.
Melanie and David Fember. Her parents. The reason for her tears. David with his brutal fists whenever the bottle took hold of his mind. It seemed it always did now a days. Melanie with her whimpers and shouts. The sun behind a black cloud.
He never used to hit them. He said he would always and forever take care of them. Only when his mother died did the turmoil of debt and stress take over.
He never loved his mother, only when she died did she take away her stress and give it to her only son. After the bills and stress, he just...broke. Everything they did was wrong, a mistake. She and her mother were now another sack of troubles on his back...
Shucking of the coat of pain, ahe trembled as the wind grew colder and the sky's natural light cut off by the onslaught of dark clouds.
A stop sighn was up ahead. She didn't care. Not anymore.
As she crossed the street, bright lights illuminated darkness and she saw her face in the glass of the truck as it hit her head on.
Everything faded to black and the tinkling of glass like rain, was all she had ever known.
Please on a scale from 1-4 4 being high and one being EXTREMELY low, Like TAKS.
Memory Lane
Lily Fember didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. The wind blew through her hair as she sped up on the freeway, the head lights of her black Matte motorcycle illuminated the empty streets ahead.
Thinking back, she wondered why they did it. The fights, the harsh words and the slap of flesh on flesh. The black angry bruises that blossomed on white skin for all to see. They were supposed to love each other, weren't they?
Shaking her head, she pushed the gas a little more. The purr of the bike pulsed through her like an angry heart beat. She knew this bike from the back of her hand. The pure original sound it made.
The yellow lights on street corners blurred as she felt the wet, hot sting of unwelcome tears.
Melanie and David Fember. Her parents. The reason for her tears. David with his brutal fists whenever the bottle took hold of his mind. It seemed it always did now a days. Melanie with her whimpers and shouts. The sun behind a black cloud.
He never used to hit them. He said he would always and forever take care of them. Only when his mother died did the turmoil of debt and stress take over.
He never loved his mother, only when she died did she take away her stress and give it to her only son. After the bills and stress, he just...broke. Everything they did was wrong, a mistake. She and her mother were now another sack of troubles on his back...
Shucking of the coat of pain, ahe trembled as the wind grew colder and the sky's natural light cut off by the onslaught of dark clouds.
A stop sighn was up ahead. She didn't care. Not anymore.
As she crossed the street, bright lights illuminated darkness and she saw her face in the glass of the truck as it hit her head on.
Everything faded to black and the tinkling of glass like rain, was all she had ever known.
Please on a scale from 1-4 4 being high and one being EXTREMELY low, Like TAKS.