Please read and critique this small excerpt of my story?

Katrina

Member
It's the middle of the third chapter, so I'm aware you may not be as invested in it as I'd like, but I'd love all your thoughts on it regardless, as they can be extremely helpful. Just general opinions, things that sound off, parts you don't like, parts you do like, tips for improvement, whatever. I am told I don't add enough description, so if you could give me thoughts on that I'd appreciate it. And it's set in like, 1915, just for reference.

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It was some hours later, as dinner was ending, that Adèle seized her chance. François sat across from her, a few china dishes, white candles, and the red tablecloth separating them.

“Do tell me, Colonel Despard, how someone as young as yourself becomes such a high ranking officer?”

François turned and directed his brown eyes on her. He smiled. “I fear you give me more esteem than is my due, Mademoiselle, and on that matter, that I am fast approaching the end of youth.”

Adèle laughed. She was sitting at the edge of her chair with impeccable posture, her expression at ease and her words charming. “I know that you are too young to say that, at least. Why, you can’t even be thirty.”

“Come summer you will be quite incorrect.”

“Is that so?”

“Well, next summer, that is.” François smiled and Adèle laughed. “Here I am, letting a girl tell me about age. And how old might you be, Mademoiselle?”

“Colonel, you must know nothing of polite society if you are asking a lady her age.”

“Is that so?” Francois mimicked.

“A lady never gives her age.”

“A lady, no. What about a girl?”

“I am outraged, Colonel,” she said, smiling. “A girl. A girl is too programmed by the conventions of her elders to stray from their path.”

“Even if said girl were, say, nineteen?”

“Even if said girl were twenty years of age, no, she would not stray.”

“Pity, that.” He shook his head. The guests were slowly beginning to rise from the table and adjourn to either the drawing or billiard rooms. The sounds of conversation, laughter, and piano music from an adjoining room continued to fill the air.

“Shall we?” François asked, rising. Adèle nodded and stood, and the two made their way to the drawing room.
Nice catch, bookbuyer, thank you. :)
 
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