Polar bear is right, You can't even be friends with this guy, they see friendships as a means to an end and even use their friends to get what they want so even if you be friends with him he will use stuff against you. I was in a relationship with a guy who has sociopathic traits for 5 months last year. End result - he put me in the hospital. Literally, for several hours. I freaked out when he told me he moved in with his next victim - er, now gf in only a week after breaking up with me....these guys have very shallow emotions and have no problem detaching as quickly as they attached to you. I took out my anger on stuff around the house breaking stuff up, my parents called the cops on me, i said i wanted to kill myself, and the cops took me to the mental nhospital where i stayed for a few hours where no one asked me anything except stupid questions like what year is it and whether I heard voices. My parents were no help as they are of the belief of 'just get over it' Luckily I dont have to see him as the guy has his own dojo and now trains elsewhere far away from me and i dont see him or his now victim (who i talk to sometimes but not very often, he will get her to believe he's ok and so will not defend me either) so i dont talk much to her on fb) I'm still onProzac because of my depression.
Intelligence has squat all to do with it, or what degree you got. These peeps are so good at what they do they can get anyone. so dont beat yourself up over it.
advice from The Blade (me lol):
Don't try to make nice with him.
Dont even be his friend.
Do let your boss know.
Dont be alone with him.
Only work with him cause you got to but dont see him outside of work, on breaks around the watercooler, etc.
Only time I'll have to see my abuser is at karate seminars and tournaments. But i can just stay the hell away from him.
well, i already gave you what help i could via msn, but for the public record, here's to stuff working out alright for you
and i still say that you should be ready to call the cops if necessary, and try not to denounce him publically in your place of interaction, since he might have others in his pocket already.
this might be an interesting resource. it's a blog about sociopaths written by someone who claims to be one. might help, or it might not, but it's there.
You'll find this interesting. Many of it mirrors my own experience except mine only lasted 5 months and didnt last long enough for me to go on trips with him for holidays and for his work (though like this one he wanted me to and threatened that if i wouldnt he'd find someone else and like this guy he wanted me to live with him right away and because i wouldnt i was 'sucking on my mum's tit')
Anyways have a watch at this.
YouTube - Sociopath Experience Pt 1
and yes talk to your boss, I told the senseis of our dojo cause i was considering having to leave cause the socio was poisoning my training environment, they of course like me a lot and didnt qwant me to leave they said wait a bit, he got his own dojo, he'll probably be gone, which is what happened. But he was the reason I didnt pass me orange belt test the first time I tried it either. Too much crap. But I did pass it in april, and now I am recovering, having less flashbacks, and talking with supportive friends (my parents i dont talk to about it)
I love my dojo and my senseis and am so glad I never had to leave!!!!
Glad also that i am not friends with him and that he said 'i dont wanna be friends with you its either boyfriend or nothing. Obviously he chose nothing. And I am free!!!!!!!!!!!
Things aren't too out of control for me. I'm definitely not in love with him. I don't think I have any sort of emotional attachment...it was purely physical attraction, which is now dying very quickly. I'm very careful now. But I've definitely made mistakes that led up to this.