I REALLY want (not really 'want' but I just think it would help more) to go to a psychiatric hospital because my parents, house, environment, and everything around me is stressing me out and making me more neurotic. But I really hate being around new people. I am also afraid my dad will think I have an ulterior motive for wanting to go to a mental hospital. It would also really hurt my mom.
I have been diagnosed w/ depression but I think I may have an anxiety disorder and maybe BDD.
-I have been obsessing over my weight and looks since the 7th grade. I guess I was 13. I don't think a day has gone by when I don't think about my looks and especially my weight.
-I've become very reclusive because I am embarrassed to leave my house looking like I do.
-I wear a baggy hoodie everyday to school so people can't see my body.
-I have skipped many days of school because I am so embarrassed of how I look. I am trying so so hard not to drop out but I have 2 more years and I really don't see myself making it.
-I sometimes think people can read my mind so I avoid thinking.
-I always worry about almost every part of my body. My hair is way too thin, my legs aren't long enough, smile lines, my arms are out of proportion to the rest of my body, my nose is too big, my feet are too big, I am too white, etc...
-I have bad anxiety. Especially social.
-I haven't had a friend to talk to or open up to since fourth grade. People have tried to be my friend I have just been to shy to actually talk to them so they assume I don't like them.
-I am nervous right now while I am writing this question.
-I have NO plans for my future and that makes me want to kill myself even more.
-I am beginning to resent my mom for giving birth to me and for actually caring about me. If I knew it wouldn't kill her for if I killed myself, I would have tried a long time ago. When my brother died she almost killed herself and said the only reason she was alive was for me.
-I feel so trapped just by living and consciousness.
-I have really quick mood swings. One second I am bitching about something or yelling at my mom and a few seconds later I am kidding around w/ her.
-I like to burn myself when I get like this. It calms me down.
I am 18. If that makes a difference.
I have been diagnosed w/ depression but I think I may have an anxiety disorder and maybe BDD.
-I have been obsessing over my weight and looks since the 7th grade. I guess I was 13. I don't think a day has gone by when I don't think about my looks and especially my weight.
-I've become very reclusive because I am embarrassed to leave my house looking like I do.
-I wear a baggy hoodie everyday to school so people can't see my body.
-I have skipped many days of school because I am so embarrassed of how I look. I am trying so so hard not to drop out but I have 2 more years and I really don't see myself making it.
-I sometimes think people can read my mind so I avoid thinking.
-I always worry about almost every part of my body. My hair is way too thin, my legs aren't long enough, smile lines, my arms are out of proportion to the rest of my body, my nose is too big, my feet are too big, I am too white, etc...
-I have bad anxiety. Especially social.
-I haven't had a friend to talk to or open up to since fourth grade. People have tried to be my friend I have just been to shy to actually talk to them so they assume I don't like them.
-I am nervous right now while I am writing this question.
-I have NO plans for my future and that makes me want to kill myself even more.
-I am beginning to resent my mom for giving birth to me and for actually caring about me. If I knew it wouldn't kill her for if I killed myself, I would have tried a long time ago. When my brother died she almost killed herself and said the only reason she was alive was for me.
-I feel so trapped just by living and consciousness.
-I have really quick mood swings. One second I am bitching about something or yelling at my mom and a few seconds later I am kidding around w/ her.
-I like to burn myself when I get like this. It calms me down.
I am 18. If that makes a difference.