Should maintenance/alimony be compulsory?

[kinderwhoree]

This is something I've thought about on and off for a few weeks and figured I'd bounce it around here too.

When it comes to the abortion debate I agree with pro choice people about not agreeing with forcing a woman to carry a baby against her will since its her own body. Because of that I then have to accept that the choice to abort a baby or not rests with the mother, and should she want one and the father doesn't, the abortion goes ahead.

Now as far as I'm aware a father is legally obligated to support the mother financially. If I'm wrong on that then read no further and forget the thread exists

If I'm right and that is the case however then I have quite a problem with it. I don't agree with the "you had sex, deal with it" side of things and, personally, the financial implications of having a kid should be one of the big factors in deciding whether or not you keep a kid you accidentally ended up with. If you tell your partner you're pregnant and he makes clear he doesn't want to have a baby then you should factor that into your decision to keep or not.

I don't really get why people are forced to pay money for a baby they made clear they didn't want and was carried against their wishes?

 

[TabithaO]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7125895.stm

Legal reasons.

It's a complicated debate though. I'm not anti the idea of child support, but if an accident were to occur, or someone were to deliberately mislead me, or (in particular) anything like the above were to happen I don't see any reason why I should be forced to pay.

I also think that the father should have some say on whether the baby is carried to term - how much say is a very grey area, and the idea of it upsets a lot of people. In a long-term, genuine relationship I suspect the father would have a say - it's the one night stands and quick flings which are more likely to bring up these problems.

 

[yoasiia]

I dont agree either. If a man doesnt want to be a father he should be able to give up his rights and not pay anything.

 

[RunningBear]

I forgot all about that story. Thinking about it from a sperm donor perspective is even more concerning.

 

[pizzalover003]

Technically speaking, isn't that all men are?

 

[scooter_the_sick_squirrel]

Aren't women just walking eggs/nests? I'd agree with a yes for both.

 

[girotusk]

One could argue from the perspective of the 'two fold cost of males', that we make up for that cost with a financial contribution

 

[weslog]

Oddly enough someone that I know told me he paid a couple of hundred quid a month towards his kids only to find one day that his ex had gone to the CSA. The CSA then promptly reduced his payments down to £26 a month and said that because he was self-employed there was no way to enforce things so it was really up to him whether he could afford it from month to month.

Really, discussing things like adults and trying to work out an equitable solution (including visitation rights etc) is better that trying to legislate things.

On the other hand, if a man makes no effort to contribute then it would only seem fair that a tribunal look at the intakings of both parties. If either was well ahead then perhaps some sort of equilization payment would be due. That could be from the man to the woman OR the woman to the man. It's important NOT to be sexist in these issues. Sometimes it will not work out in the woman't favour.

LFD

 

[ArianthaZ]

Having just finished paying child support for the past 20 plus years I know I'll soon be giving more money to my kids than ever before, in fact I already am!
What's not to like?
Your kids are the people who mean everything, money comes & goes
Wish I realised it earlier

 

[Capodastaro]

A relative of mine got stuck with this.
Made a girl pregnant, she was adamant she was going to keep it and that he didn't need to have anything to do with it and they went their seperate ways.
A few years later the CSA came a knocking.
Seemed harsh because he had none of the joys of seeing his child grow up but some of the financial burden.

Maybe some sort of contract whereby a woman can agree to absolve the man of any rights over the child if he doesn't want it?
Once that is signed they can't then decide later on that money is tight and they need some cash?

 

[starcrossedvoyager]

The CSA came into being because if the man doesn't pay then the Government does.
I've been in your mates situation and I pay towards the son I've never seen. He's all grown up and I'm doing it to help. Blood is blood. Give it two weeks I won't be able to say that