Step-daughter and son constantly whine, kick, scream and pee pants...what to do?

john

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I have 2 kids and my new wife has 3. Her 6 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son pitch fits about absolutely everything. The daughter is the worst one. She gets mad if she doesn't get the right cup, plate, if anyone but mommy makes her food, if she's told to get off the wii, if she doesn't get what she wants to drink, if kids say anything mean to her (that happens as kids). I don't mean just mad but all out kicking and screaming. My daughter is 10 and son 7. I'd say naturally my son is mean to her and my daughter just thinks shes annoying. My kids have been back talking a little more since our marriage but its gotten much better. My wife was pissed when my kids backtalked and I told her that her daughters way of back talking was throwing her fits. My wife looks at it differently. She also pees her pants through out the day. The 4 yr old boy does similar things but I expect that more from a kid his age especially when he sees his sister doing it. Everyone is sick of the fits she throws. They last...im not kidding, more than 45 minutes sometimes. Constant yelling and screaming. My son is calling her cry baby now and i really get on to him about that, but it pisses my wife off that he says that to begin with.
Really i feel ridiculous punishing my son for calling her a cry baby. My daughter said that to my son when he was younger and whined (no where near this extent). Its like hes saying what everyone else wants to say but doesn't. My kids were punished accordingly when they were'nt respecting my wife, they still are when that pops up. They are all punished when they do something.
Not with them, I've spanked both once and only once. After I did i told her if we spank we need to spank our own kids. She spanks them too but it does nothing.
Actually my kids gave her that at first, i've never gotten that from her kids. Her son calls me his step daddy. I think hes more or less following his sisters lead much like my son was
 
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http://www.strugglingteens.com/artman/publish/article_5287.shtml
 
ooohhhhhh hahaha sorry I thought u meant ur wife pees her pants all through out the day! lol
but seriously pull her aside and threaten to beat her *** if she doesn't stop! eventually she'll grow out of it but until then something has to be done and since ur wife doesn't see it handle it yourself. Your part of their life now too you gotta let them know that you get to steer the ship
 
The kids are not responsible for this and you really can't blame them. You have to talk to your WIFE and tell her to make them give you the respect that you deserve. She's in charge of disciplining them (and you're in charge of disciplining your children, too). I can't believe you aren't punishing your own children for acting like that but you're blaming her kids for being disrespectful. I think you should both plan out some things you can do to discipline all of them and every time a child does something worthy of getting in trouble for they should get the same punishment one of their step siblings would get.
 
hitting a child is never the answer.

what kind of example does that set? how do you think that makes them feel? do you want them to be frightened of you, or do you want them to respect you?

don't get worked up when the children do. every time they pee their pants or have tantrums find a way of calmly addressing time out. a naughty step or naughty chair, for example. praise is also very important for children. if you notice only the naughty things they do they will assume that your view on them is totally negative. they will lack confidence and they will do it for attention.

as for your children, they need to stop bullying the smaller ones. when they do, stand firm and tell them it's not right.

when children have tantrums and act all fired up, it's not great to behave the same way back. it just creates a row and you fail to gain their respect and you fail to discipline.

and everyone needs love. these children need love and praise shown daily in an open manner. otherwise they will be unhappy.
 
Ah to be expected with blended families.

Her kids don't respect you. They probably give you the whole "Your not my dad you can't tell me what to do" Am I right?

and I bet your kids don't respect her

You are going to have to earn their respect and take over some of their dicipline...same goes with your wife and your kids.

Your wife and your relationship should not be strained because of the kids.

Sit all of them down and explain the rules and the punishments for breaking the rules. all the children will obey or be punished.

Sadly it sounds like you need super nanny...lol

In all seriousness though....being a child in a blended family is tough....You and your wife need to work together on all children. And don't take sides of your own children. Treat them all the same. You guys can get through this
 
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