Story dialogue construction comma help?

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Corbin

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I am having some doubts about comma and period usage when working around dialogue in writing. So here are some examples with different versions of each. Tell me which appear correct please?

EXAMPLE 1:

words words words, "more words here," she/he said.

words words words "more words here" she/he said.

words words words, "more words here." She/he said. (In this one I wonder about the sentence she/he said. It sounds incomplete but because of the dialogue before it, will this be a permissible option in narration?)

Example 2:

"words begin in quote," end.

"words begin in quote", end.

help?
 
Well it depends. Let me give you an example.

1. She turned to face him. "Don't do that," she said.
----As you can see there is an action before the dialogue. Because the action doesn't directly contribute to the dialogue spoken, then a full stop is placed before the dialogue. The dialogue is written normally and a comma is placed at the end, inside of the speech marks because it ends with a 'she said'.

2. Softly he said, "this way, we're not too far from the exit." With a snap he turned away.
-----Now, because the 'he said' action is stated before (as in _softly_) a comma is used instead, followed by what is spoken. After the dialogue, a piece of action is used which is not directly linked with what is spoken, so a full stop is used to break up the dialogue and the following action.



Some more examples.

3. "I don't like the sound of this idea," she said as she folded her arms. "We could get hurt, or even worse, killed."
4. She folded her arms. "I don't like the sound of this idea. We could get hurt, or even worse, killed."
5. She folded her arms and said, "I don't like the sound of this idea." She momentarily paused to let the predicament sink in. With a stab to her finger, she said, "we could get hurt, or worse, killed."

There are a few other ways that things could be written, but these are the only ones I can remember :) Good luck


?Little Kaleidoscope?
 
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