Teen romance novel im writing. How is it so far (chapter 1)?

LollyJ

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Just a rough draft

Lilly woke up. her bvrother was in the hallway playing with toys.
"GRR i will crush you" he yelled waking lily us.
Lily was really mad but she was too tired to yell. She got out of bed. it was early. "Yawn" she said.
She brushed her teeth. SHe was wearing hollister PJ pants and an abercrombie hoodie and gilly hicks boots and a gucci headband. She curled her hair and put on eyeliner. she looked cute.she looked really pretty. She put on abercrombie jeans, ugg boots, hollisster hoodie and sunglasses.
"i'm going to the park." she said and ran out the door.
She was at the park. It was nice. Boys were running around and looked cool. Lots of guys checked her out.
There was a group of guys her age. They were playing frisbee. One looked at her. His eyes were gree. He was hot. It was love at first sight. Her hearet stopped. He was so sexy.








That chapter 1. CritisZEM PLEASE!:p
 
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