So a grandfather sees his 20 year old grandson playing X-Box and says: "Hans, why do you not go out and have fun? I did at your age."
Hans says "okay, where should I go?".
Grandpa Fritz says "when I was your age I went through Paris and went to many nightclubs, drank all night, banged the dancers, went wild, and didn't even pay!"
Hans thinks this sounds awesome. So he goes across the border to Paris to have some fun. A week later he comes back and is covered in bruises and cuts.
"Mein Gott," says grandpa Fritz. "What happened?"
Hans says "I went with my friends and did all those things you did once but the club bouncers beat the hell out of me and I got jailed for the night."
Grandpa goes: "You went with your friends?"
Hans goes: "Yeah, and they were no help. Who did you go do all these wild things with?"
Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'