The Confession Thread

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marcosg

Member
I'd do it, but that would get blood and intenstinal acids all over my blade, and if I'm dead then there would be no-one to wipe it off and treat it properly, and then the high carbon steel would rust very quickly and be spoiled, and I could never allow such an unbearable injustice to occur. Hell, I'd die before I'd let that happen.
 
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itskellyanne:]

New member
My friend's elderly mum is visiting her from overseas. Her mum has arthritis in her fingers and so she knits to keep the joints moving.

She made me a scarf yesterday and came to my office to give it to me. I looked in the bag and my face just looked like I was going to throw up but I managed to quickly wipe the look off and smile in utter disbelief and 'sheer joy'. I told her I loved it and would wear it the first chance I get. It is the ugliest scarf I have ever seen and looks like roadkill. I would not wear it even if it was the last piece of clothing on earth.

I want to throw it out but I can't
 
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exile

New member
The hell you can't! If you don't show her how crap her taste in colours is, who will?
Nah, only kidding. We've all been given shi.. uh, crappy gifts by old ladies and didn't have the heart to read them their pedigree. I once got a pop CD (some pop rock band, one of those here today gone tomorrow types) from my nan that was forcing me to say things like, "Thanks... No, no, you don't need to take it back, etc, etc," but it was a shocking CD. The next year I think my nan just gave my mum some money and got me to pick out an present from her. The CD I got that year was slightly different.
 
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amysbuttabutta

New member
Oh come on now Lily. Sometimes I don't understand people. If somebody went and made something for me I would love it, no matter how horrible or great it was. It's the intention that makes gifts good eh? But then again, she could have been either 1.) Making a scarf and thought it looked horrible, so decided to give it to you because she wouldn't dare keep it herself or 2.) Hates you and decided to make that especially for you
 
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monkame

Member
Thanks Sparkle, now I feel better...not! How can I explain this scarf other than it was made from the fur of a moulting chihuahua?

Argh! Its right here underneath my desk and she gave it to me in a bag that says 'World Without Strangers'. No one does nasty things to me, I'm too adorable.

Oh at least Xmas is coming, I can regift it to someone. Now that makes me feel better

Watto - what's your mailing address?
 
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beccaE

New member
Hey Lily, maybe she knitted it thinking it was 'your taste'. That's got you thinking now hasn't it?

In any case you can't throw it out. That poor woman has gone through hours of pain to knit that especially for you.
 
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michelet

New member
Sparkle and D, I don't really like gifts but I do appreciate the effort that goes into a handmade gift. This, this...'thing' is definitely not to my taste. You're also both good at laying the guilt trip so I'm not going to throw it out, just hope some idiot steals it. You are both so evil that you could think someone would give me a gift out of malice/vengeance

Watto, you may or may not be getting an early gift from Santa this year. Its exactly what you've always wanted (a scarf that looks like it was a skinned cat that has been peed on by a moulting chihuahua and a Nikki Webster CD).
 
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sunfire1

New member
I had another look at the scarf, it is still ugly. Ugh.

As its going to be winter in the Northern Hemisphere very soon, I will post the scarf out to the first person who genuinely wants it. God it is f---ing ugly and strange but its brand new! The scarf has seriously screwed up my life.


I object to the 'wench' bit. The rest is true.

Confession - I have watched The Sound of Music over 1000 times. In full. My dad made me lots of copies of the tape when I was little and I watched it everyday for a few years.
 
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cafealait

New member
Johnno - I've got a few copies of the VHS if you want to give your son a unique gift this Xmas. My dad is mega cool and hilarious, I'll post the scarf to you if you insult him again.

The scarf won't go away. Maybe I should sell it on Ebay!!!!!!! I've never used that site before but there's always a first time. Hmmmm....
 
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robster

New member
Lily,

I'm sorry, but no normal parent forces their child to watch that film. (I can't bring myself to say it's name.) In this country, they would be prosecuted for it and the child would be taken into care. I can only assume that you don't have such strict child protection laws in the penal colonies.

The perfect solution! Advertise it with a photo of a nice scarf, and then send them the Scarf From Hell. Then never use e-Bay again.

Sorted!
 
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