The Ctrl+V game (Orpaste)
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polarmoods
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AlexisInfectious®
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flatfootfred
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h2forlife
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dalekyleconboy
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1.
physician heal thyself
2.
======================
3.
4.
"There's no sign of the morning coming, you've been left on your own."
5.
-- As the rabbi said to the grocer's wife.
6.
7.
8.
It was a dark and stormy night.
9.
I had a boner.
10.
Dr. Strom Thunderbold, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection.
11.
Suddenly something came out of the kitchen. Or rather to say: Something came IN the kitchen, and that which came, came out of the kitchen.
12.
It had a head the size of an Xbox.
13.
14.
As the kitchen monster approached me I stepped back, with one hand on a knife, and the other on my boner.
15.
The penis became erect, and he giggled maliciously.
16.
17.
The good Doctor slid his knives back into their case and locked it securely.
18.
19.
The doctor walked out of his office to see a man with a strangely erect penis and a monster with an inproportionate head.
20.
I took another step back as the doctor entered the room.
21.
The doctor heaved a sigh, its sound muffled by dozens of tumors along the length of his trachea.
22.
23.
The patients would have to wait.
24.
It would be near impossible to remain conscious through the procedure, let along remain focused on the task at hand.
25.
So I stuck the pistol into his ass, and pulled the trigger, shooting his intestines out through his mouth.
26.
Luckily, the Doctor was well prepared. Beanbags were everywhere.
27.
28.
He made the first incision, hoping the apparitions he had seen in the madness of his youth would be there to guide him.
29.
The beast opened its freakish excuse for a mouth, and ground-thumping techno started to pour from its orifice.
30.
The scalpel fell from his hand, not yet stained in its duty.
31.
Still the techno roared out of his mouth with force enough to shake the world.
32.
33.
Returning to the kitchen, I opened the microwave and was shocked at what I saw.
34.
I had already told my neighbors to stop using my microwave to execute their newborns, but they must have been too high on CRACK COCAINE to heed my warnings: who knows how many souls were now trapped in the microwave.
35.
I had previously concluded via scientific experimentation that Loli Haet Pizza, but upon inspecting the charred remains of control group #4 I realized that a much darker truth was still hiding just out of sight...
36.
First, there were our children to silence.
37.
38.
The good doctor, realising time was short, strode forward to do battle with the techno beast.
39.
Inhaling deeply, he searched his memory for a song to duel with.
40.
Singing, "We're not strangers to love....."
41.
The beast, fearing its imminent demise and in a fit of desperation, ripped off its mask to reveal its true identity--!!
42.
43.
The face of EFG stared into the night with a look of cold defiance.
44.
45.
The extremely loud techno music woke Abraham Lincoln from his sleep.
46.
Simultaneously, M. Night Shyamalan leaned in through the bay window to deliver his classic catch phrase, "What a twist!"
47.
physician heal thyself
2.
======================
3.
4.
"There's no sign of the morning coming, you've been left on your own."
5.
-- As the rabbi said to the grocer's wife.
6.
7.
8.
It was a dark and stormy night.
9.
I had a boner.
10.
Dr. Strom Thunderbold, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection.
11.
Suddenly something came out of the kitchen. Or rather to say: Something came IN the kitchen, and that which came, came out of the kitchen.
12.
It had a head the size of an Xbox.
13.
14.
As the kitchen monster approached me I stepped back, with one hand on a knife, and the other on my boner.
15.
The penis became erect, and he giggled maliciously.
16.
17.
The good Doctor slid his knives back into their case and locked it securely.
18.
19.
The doctor walked out of his office to see a man with a strangely erect penis and a monster with an inproportionate head.
20.
I took another step back as the doctor entered the room.
21.
The doctor heaved a sigh, its sound muffled by dozens of tumors along the length of his trachea.
22.
23.
The patients would have to wait.
24.
It would be near impossible to remain conscious through the procedure, let along remain focused on the task at hand.
25.
So I stuck the pistol into his ass, and pulled the trigger, shooting his intestines out through his mouth.
26.
Luckily, the Doctor was well prepared. Beanbags were everywhere.
27.
28.
He made the first incision, hoping the apparitions he had seen in the madness of his youth would be there to guide him.
29.
The beast opened its freakish excuse for a mouth, and ground-thumping techno started to pour from its orifice.
30.
The scalpel fell from his hand, not yet stained in its duty.
31.
Still the techno roared out of his mouth with force enough to shake the world.
32.
33.
Returning to the kitchen, I opened the microwave and was shocked at what I saw.
34.
I had already told my neighbors to stop using my microwave to execute their newborns, but they must have been too high on CRACK COCAINE to heed my warnings: who knows how many souls were now trapped in the microwave.
35.
I had previously concluded via scientific experimentation that Loli Haet Pizza, but upon inspecting the charred remains of control group #4 I realized that a much darker truth was still hiding just out of sight...
36.
First, there were our children to silence.
37.
38.
The good doctor, realising time was short, strode forward to do battle with the techno beast.
39.
Inhaling deeply, he searched his memory for a song to duel with.
40.
Singing, "We're not strangers to love....."
41.
The beast, fearing its imminent demise and in a fit of desperation, ripped off its mask to reveal its true identity--!!
42.
43.
The face of EFG stared into the night with a look of cold defiance.
44.
45.
The extremely loud techno music woke Abraham Lincoln from his sleep.
46.
Simultaneously, M. Night Shyamalan leaned in through the bay window to deliver his classic catch phrase, "What a twist!"
47.
whatsername1180
New member
48.
Feeling the strain of his efforts, the doctor retreated back to the sanctuary of his office.
49.
50.
Meanwhile, Optimus Prime and Godzilla were waging war on each other in Czechoslovakia.
51.
Something sinister was going down in New Zealand...
52.
Jesus rose from the dead... AGAIN!
53.
Little did he know Jesus leading an army of aliens with spears and anti-gravitational sandals were destroying all beings with boners.
54.
But he pauses, remembers his father gave mankind free will, and decides not to announce his return.
55.
Japan was destroyed by a series of titanic earthquakes that shocked the world.
56.
The Korean nation rejoiced in the destruction of Japan and started a mass starcraft orgy.
57.
There was no doubt about it, Africa was in the house.
58.
59.
Blood leaked from a paper sack onto the floor.
60.
The inside of my left nostril itched. I stared nonchalantly into my tepid cup of coffee. Today was surely the day.
61.
Suddenly, stage right, entered Doctor Wind and his band of farting zombies.
62.
Fuck yes, A Prairie Home Companion was on!
63.
The light from the overhead fluorescent lights refracted through a three-quarters full glass of water positioned on the table within reach of his leathery hand, creating dancing bars of whiteness on the otherwise dull surface...
64.
The emergency mittens had been released.
65.
Returning to get the paper bag, he pulled out the still beating heart of a lesser demon king and bit down upon it.
66.
It yielded to his teeth like a pulled pork sandwich. He would have to act quickly, the strength of will imparted would not last long.
67.
His minions had begun to crawl towards the sacred crystal, trailing their innards across the linoleum floor.
68.
The mystical sigils carved into his skin could not ward him from the evil this time; he doubled over and vomited.
69.
Light shot out of his eyes, piercing the dense blackness.
70.
If only his eyes had been modified to see beyond the confines of visible light, the room would have been awash with searing gamma rays, in a color which did not exist in any earthly language.
71.
The radiant heat was too much to bear and his skin became leathery as he was forced to close his eyes: how could they have sent him in so ill-prepared?
72.
He could swear he felt every pain receptor in his body signalling frantically, then falling silent.
73.
Even if he survived the present encounter, he would be crippled and braindead in a week's time.
74.
Little did he know that leathery skin was what he would need to face the horrors that awaited him!
75.
Summoning the last vestiges of will from the demon heart, he called forth a team of British noise abatement officers to silence the techno beast.
76.
Screaming under the weight of red tape heaped upon it, the techno beast slunk away.
77.
"This is Joson," the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
78.
79.
But all of a sudden, BANANAS EVERYWHERE
80.
Somehow, I don't know how, everyone around me was glowing a bright blue.
81.
Suddenly, Librarians everywhere, rejoicing in the banana flood.
82.
The words came naturally to my mouth as electricity arced through my body:
83.
"She was a mink handjob in sarcophagus heels."
84.
I cracked my knuckles and ran into a parking meter.
85.
86.
But it was too late, for Dr. Martin Luther King had beaten him to it, having already raped her a week earlier.
87.
It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
88.
A dust speck lazily floated by.
89.
A steaming bowl of linguini and clams sat there.
90.
A familiar melody blared from the speakers of the abductor's automobile.
91.
It was at that exact moment that I realized my mother never hugged me.
92.
Then it struck me... I was retarded, it was the only explanation.
93.
94.
***
95.
96.
Giovanni J. Nagato, the famed physics researcher, activated his Waveform-Modulating Burst-Spinning Quantum Storyline Superposition Unifying Devil's Machine, collapsing all conceivable disparate narrative threads into a simultaneous united whole general sort of mish mash.
97.
40 universes suddenly coalesced into one.
98.
That one seemingly made of only little girls with large amounts of chocolate candy.
99.
Out of the mish-mash rose a shadowy shape, raising a fist to knock at the exhausted Doctor's door.
100.
101.
Crows dotted the eaves of the hot dog stand, still blood-stained from yesterday's siege, like Christmas lights, all flapping their wings, eventually lifting the cart into the sky.
102.
BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS ALL A DREAM!
103.
... or was it??????
104.
105.
The doctor, already in a morphine stupor, was in no condition to react to the disturbances at his door.
106.
Little did he know, but these seemingly innocuous events would become the direct cause of Dr. Nagato's imminent death.
107.
Too late, he noticed that the harmonics had let to a fatal buildup of wave-energy in the W-MB-SQSSUDM!
108.
The Jamaicans moved in with trained efficiency and scooped up the doctor, moving him away from the experiment gone awry. Would he regain consciousness?
109.
The camera panned up to signal the episode's end, as a cluster of stars inexplicably resembling the King's face simultaneously glowed, twinkled, and then winked out of existence forever.
110.
111.
***
112.
113.
Suddenly, a single grain of salt flying at 81% light-speed punctured through the re-enforced hull, causing the spacecraft to experience a massive implosion, killing all 93 crew members.
114.
Thousands of armored vehicles roved the countryside looking for any sign of it.
115.
As the wreckage slowly expanded into a thin stream throughout the orbit, fragments occasionally knocking against each other in soundless glee, Mitch Buffem (space archeo-fuck-ulist extraordinaire) smoked in the cabin of his salvage craft.
116.
"Hmmph," he grunted. "I'm no doctor, but I think there's profit to be held there."
117.
The doctor, turning to him in the confines of their shared office aboard the salvage ship Aphrodite, said "But I am, my dear Mitch."
118.
He was aghast, the suit of fur no longer fit over his bulbous, fleshy exterior.
119.
His sweatpants were full of shoplifted paperclips made of a metal that could not be identified.
120.
His eyes widened upon his close examination's result: he'd spotted a small figure wriggling in agony, close to death, among the wreckage!
121.
Mitch had no time to waste as he swiftly unzipped his spacesuit and started to strap himself into the rape-drive.
122.
Eyes tearing up, Mitch's small ship pulled alongside the softly writhing body of the near-death survivor.
123.
It was moot.
124.
So he reached for his pocket to get his gun.
125.
Sadly, he then realized the pocket was in his other pair of pants.
126.
It was at this point that he wished he had actually gone to an accredited university, and not just a diploma-mill.
127.
128.
The beast had left no visible tracks, only a faint echo on the air for those with the sharpest of ears to hear.
129.
Patrol unit #7624 slowed at a crossroads and caught a faint echo from the northbound road.
130.
A loud crackle emitted from the radio on his belt, saying "WOULD YOU KINDLY KILL HIM?"
131.
132.
Just then, the ship's computer decided on a whim to change the life support from "Earth - Temperate" to "Tang."
133.
Meteors sailed past the hull... the end was near.
134.
"All units, converge on location 17, the beast has been found."
135.
136.
"Unit #7624, can you read? We've got another case of dysentery in the capitol! The queen has summoned us all for another orgy!"
137.
Unit #7624's shoulders heaved as his lungs rasped yet another sigh from his heavy frame. "It's always shit and sex in this city... It's always motherfucking shit and anal rape."
138.
Turning, his legs elongated to the point that he attained the same orbit as the small salvage craft just as its manipulator arm was about to close its grip upon the lone survivor of the horrific disastrous crash of immense impact in terms of orbital debris.
139.
140.
Mitch cursed softly ("cock-fuckler!") as unit #7624 snatched his prey from his somewhat disassociated grasp. This would not be the first time, or the last, that these two courageous fiends would cross wills.
141.
142.
"I'm not going to stand for this. You're going to feel more than a tinge of regret as this rape drive saps YOU for my propulsion!"
143.
It had been almost four months since he had last met with his ex-brother, #7624.
144.
145.
"#7624, advance to contact, the queen has been informed of our impending victory against the beast and has delayed the orgy."
Feeling the strain of his efforts, the doctor retreated back to the sanctuary of his office.
49.
50.
Meanwhile, Optimus Prime and Godzilla were waging war on each other in Czechoslovakia.
51.
Something sinister was going down in New Zealand...
52.
Jesus rose from the dead... AGAIN!
53.
Little did he know Jesus leading an army of aliens with spears and anti-gravitational sandals were destroying all beings with boners.
54.
But he pauses, remembers his father gave mankind free will, and decides not to announce his return.
55.
Japan was destroyed by a series of titanic earthquakes that shocked the world.
56.
The Korean nation rejoiced in the destruction of Japan and started a mass starcraft orgy.
57.
There was no doubt about it, Africa was in the house.
58.
59.
Blood leaked from a paper sack onto the floor.
60.
The inside of my left nostril itched. I stared nonchalantly into my tepid cup of coffee. Today was surely the day.
61.
Suddenly, stage right, entered Doctor Wind and his band of farting zombies.
62.
Fuck yes, A Prairie Home Companion was on!
63.
The light from the overhead fluorescent lights refracted through a three-quarters full glass of water positioned on the table within reach of his leathery hand, creating dancing bars of whiteness on the otherwise dull surface...
64.
The emergency mittens had been released.
65.
Returning to get the paper bag, he pulled out the still beating heart of a lesser demon king and bit down upon it.
66.
It yielded to his teeth like a pulled pork sandwich. He would have to act quickly, the strength of will imparted would not last long.
67.
His minions had begun to crawl towards the sacred crystal, trailing their innards across the linoleum floor.
68.
The mystical sigils carved into his skin could not ward him from the evil this time; he doubled over and vomited.
69.
Light shot out of his eyes, piercing the dense blackness.
70.
If only his eyes had been modified to see beyond the confines of visible light, the room would have been awash with searing gamma rays, in a color which did not exist in any earthly language.
71.
The radiant heat was too much to bear and his skin became leathery as he was forced to close his eyes: how could they have sent him in so ill-prepared?
72.
He could swear he felt every pain receptor in his body signalling frantically, then falling silent.
73.
Even if he survived the present encounter, he would be crippled and braindead in a week's time.
74.
Little did he know that leathery skin was what he would need to face the horrors that awaited him!
75.
Summoning the last vestiges of will from the demon heart, he called forth a team of British noise abatement officers to silence the techno beast.
76.
Screaming under the weight of red tape heaped upon it, the techno beast slunk away.
77.
"This is Joson," the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
78.
79.
But all of a sudden, BANANAS EVERYWHERE
80.
Somehow, I don't know how, everyone around me was glowing a bright blue.
81.
Suddenly, Librarians everywhere, rejoicing in the banana flood.
82.
The words came naturally to my mouth as electricity arced through my body:
83.
"She was a mink handjob in sarcophagus heels."
84.
I cracked my knuckles and ran into a parking meter.
85.
86.
But it was too late, for Dr. Martin Luther King had beaten him to it, having already raped her a week earlier.
87.
It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
88.
A dust speck lazily floated by.
89.
A steaming bowl of linguini and clams sat there.
90.
A familiar melody blared from the speakers of the abductor's automobile.
91.
It was at that exact moment that I realized my mother never hugged me.
92.
Then it struck me... I was retarded, it was the only explanation.
93.
94.
***
95.
96.
Giovanni J. Nagato, the famed physics researcher, activated his Waveform-Modulating Burst-Spinning Quantum Storyline Superposition Unifying Devil's Machine, collapsing all conceivable disparate narrative threads into a simultaneous united whole general sort of mish mash.
97.
40 universes suddenly coalesced into one.
98.
That one seemingly made of only little girls with large amounts of chocolate candy.
99.
Out of the mish-mash rose a shadowy shape, raising a fist to knock at the exhausted Doctor's door.
100.
101.
Crows dotted the eaves of the hot dog stand, still blood-stained from yesterday's siege, like Christmas lights, all flapping their wings, eventually lifting the cart into the sky.
102.
BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS ALL A DREAM!
103.
... or was it??????
104.
105.
The doctor, already in a morphine stupor, was in no condition to react to the disturbances at his door.
106.
Little did he know, but these seemingly innocuous events would become the direct cause of Dr. Nagato's imminent death.
107.
Too late, he noticed that the harmonics had let to a fatal buildup of wave-energy in the W-MB-SQSSUDM!
108.
The Jamaicans moved in with trained efficiency and scooped up the doctor, moving him away from the experiment gone awry. Would he regain consciousness?
109.
The camera panned up to signal the episode's end, as a cluster of stars inexplicably resembling the King's face simultaneously glowed, twinkled, and then winked out of existence forever.
110.
111.
***
112.
113.
Suddenly, a single grain of salt flying at 81% light-speed punctured through the re-enforced hull, causing the spacecraft to experience a massive implosion, killing all 93 crew members.
114.
Thousands of armored vehicles roved the countryside looking for any sign of it.
115.
As the wreckage slowly expanded into a thin stream throughout the orbit, fragments occasionally knocking against each other in soundless glee, Mitch Buffem (space archeo-fuck-ulist extraordinaire) smoked in the cabin of his salvage craft.
116.
"Hmmph," he grunted. "I'm no doctor, but I think there's profit to be held there."
117.
The doctor, turning to him in the confines of their shared office aboard the salvage ship Aphrodite, said "But I am, my dear Mitch."
118.
He was aghast, the suit of fur no longer fit over his bulbous, fleshy exterior.
119.
His sweatpants were full of shoplifted paperclips made of a metal that could not be identified.
120.
His eyes widened upon his close examination's result: he'd spotted a small figure wriggling in agony, close to death, among the wreckage!
121.
Mitch had no time to waste as he swiftly unzipped his spacesuit and started to strap himself into the rape-drive.
122.
Eyes tearing up, Mitch's small ship pulled alongside the softly writhing body of the near-death survivor.
123.
It was moot.
124.
So he reached for his pocket to get his gun.
125.
Sadly, he then realized the pocket was in his other pair of pants.
126.
It was at this point that he wished he had actually gone to an accredited university, and not just a diploma-mill.
127.
128.
The beast had left no visible tracks, only a faint echo on the air for those with the sharpest of ears to hear.
129.
Patrol unit #7624 slowed at a crossroads and caught a faint echo from the northbound road.
130.
A loud crackle emitted from the radio on his belt, saying "WOULD YOU KINDLY KILL HIM?"
131.
132.
Just then, the ship's computer decided on a whim to change the life support from "Earth - Temperate" to "Tang."
133.
Meteors sailed past the hull... the end was near.
134.
"All units, converge on location 17, the beast has been found."
135.
136.
"Unit #7624, can you read? We've got another case of dysentery in the capitol! The queen has summoned us all for another orgy!"
137.
Unit #7624's shoulders heaved as his lungs rasped yet another sigh from his heavy frame. "It's always shit and sex in this city... It's always motherfucking shit and anal rape."
138.
Turning, his legs elongated to the point that he attained the same orbit as the small salvage craft just as its manipulator arm was about to close its grip upon the lone survivor of the horrific disastrous crash of immense impact in terms of orbital debris.
139.
140.
Mitch cursed softly ("cock-fuckler!") as unit #7624 snatched his prey from his somewhat disassociated grasp. This would not be the first time, or the last, that these two courageous fiends would cross wills.
141.
142.
"I'm not going to stand for this. You're going to feel more than a tinge of regret as this rape drive saps YOU for my propulsion!"
143.
It had been almost four months since he had last met with his ex-brother, #7624.
144.
145.
"#7624, advance to contact, the queen has been informed of our impending victory against the beast and has delayed the orgy."
FantasyHeart
New member
wtf?
146.
He recognized the voice.
147.
It was mother.
148.
Her soft voice echoed amongst the myriad of voices assaulting my senses.
149.
150.
#7624 pushed forward, all thoughts of his brother pushed aside by the vision of presenting the head of the beast to his Queen.
151.
152.
Blueberry muffins.
153.
154.
Frantically pressing the "close door" button on the elevator panel, the snarling leocrotta charged toward him, fully baring it's rows of teeth and fangs.
155.
Quickly, with a paperclip, he engraves 'Elbereth' on the elevator floor.
156.
Thus protected, the leocrotta could not harm him. But how now would he reach the blueberry muffin he saw, at the other end of the corridor?
157.
He reached into his pockets. Sure as the sun rises, the packet of Rowntree's fruit pastels was still there.
158.
The leocrotta stopped in its path, growling and barking at him; the elevator door finally closed.
159.
160.
Missiles screamed over the horizon, riding a wake of folded space.
161.
162.
Pressure built in the ship's cabin as the berry pastry onslaught began to consume the ground gained by the sweet, orange liquid.
163.
The computer had started singing. Mitch just hoped it would be original this time -- he'd heard 'Daisy' and 'Still Alive' too many times to stand it any longer.
164.
165.
In the missiles' wake, time itself rent the earth with every wrinkle of each local individual's imagination...
166.
167.
In the kitchen, Dr. Strom Thunderbolt continued to polish his knife collection.
168.
As Thunderbolt was polishing his favorite knife, it accidentally slipped from his hands and hit an unlabeled switch on the floor.
169.
The doctor looked up and, seeing himself in another sliver of the probability-space, suddenly understood.
170.
The mind was designed to collapse wavefunctions by observing them, but here he was observing an infinity of selves in an infinity of universes, all uncollapsed, all possible: all certain.
171.
The weight of the choice that presented itself to him was far too great for him: so he fapped and went to bed.
172.
173.
It seemed as though the hands of fate were in fact the hands of a drunken frat boy.
174.
"Manos! You're drunk!" yelled his girlfriend, hurling empty beer cans at him.
175.
Sighing and drawing his knives again, Strom walked through the wall and into somebody else's life.
176.
177.
The computer's main logic module was just out of reach.
178.
The corner of the table was mere centimeters from his face, if only he could reach it...
179.
180.
A lone missile, conferred immunity to blueberry-reinforced unobtainium by a ruby locket received from its late mentor, pierced through the elevator floor and discharged it from the abandoned spacecraft into the furthest reaches of 16th century Spain.
181.
182.
The Spanish Inquisition were certainly not expecting the muffin. Even less did they expect the half-man, half-cyborg beast that #7624 was now.
183.
Now that he could see the beast, he plugged noise cancelling sets into his ears.
184.
The rancid stench of its breath flooded his nostrils and made the surroundings swim.
185.
#7624 closed on the Spaniards, his crystal shard drawn.
186.
A gentleman in a British Colonel's uniform burst in through the door, momentarily stunning them.
187.
Swinging once, the shard sheared through the red robes of the inquisitors, opening his path to the final confrontation with the beast.
188.
189.
The beast, gibbering in its madness, stood twelve stories tall, body speckled with hair and various elements of battlements and other castle features.
190.
191.
Just as #7624 burst through the door, the Doctor, his ears plugged and his knives ready, dropped through a skylight onto the Beast's unprotected head.
192.
Slowly tipping, head dotted with knives gleaming from the Doctor's endless pursuits, the beast started to topple down to the satin flooring.
193.
194.
Dropping an arm suddenly, the beast's head snapped to attention as it howled "CAPTAIN AMERICA IS A MARVEL CHARACTER, YOU FAGGOT!" so hard that it rent into the fourth dimension.
195.
196.
"Very good. But machines don't fall for mind tricks." remarked #7624, lunging at the true form of the Beast.
197.
"The voice box, cut out the voice box," #7624 yelled up to the doctor.
198.
The doctor, his ears securely plugged, shrugged at #7624, but he had been distracted too long.
199.
200.
Meanwhile, pirates were singing pirate songs on their pirate ship inside their pirate cave.
201.
Pirates.
202.
203.
Without warning, the elevator rocketed up the chamber and burst through the ceiling. Charlie had received his reward.
204.
205.
The scene both delighted and horrified the young lad: it was his four grandparents in a mind-fucking transfer of bodily fluids the likes of which won't tear themselves through the lobes of one such as he.
206.
207.
He wept, blind.
208.
209.
The Beast swung its enormous arm, batting away a flying elevator far beyond the horizon.
210.
Lashing its tail, the beast swung at Charlie, hoping for a quick kill.
211.
The flying elevator, now charred, crumpled, and empty, crashed into the pirates' secret hideaway, prompting a hearty "Shiver me timbers!!" as it landed in front of their ship.
212.
213.
Charlie's arm erupted forth from his body, snapping up bits of machinery with petite snappy tentacles and incorporating them into a steadily growing bio-mechanical titan growing from within the boy, blocking the beast's tail.
214.
He was momentarily distracted by the urge to scream "KANEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" before settling his intent upon its final destination: no items, fox and marth only.
215.
216.
The Doctor wavered and plunged toward the Beast's throat, his last gleaming knife outstretched before him.
217.
Leaping into the midst of the beast's many legs, #7624 attempted to hamstring it and bring it to the floor.
218.
The beast, no longer able to support itself on it's ruined legs, sunk rapidly to the floor.
219.
220.
The Doctor, by now trapped in its throat, felt himself falling again and braced his knife against what was now the floor.
221.
That selfsame floor was in fact the doctor's own leg.
222.
The schizophrenic floor pitched and yawed in tumultuous protest.
223.
Realizing his state, he kissed his knee and severed himself at the waist, vowing to never go home again.
He recognized the voice.
147.
It was mother.
148.
Her soft voice echoed amongst the myriad of voices assaulting my senses.
149.
150.
#7624 pushed forward, all thoughts of his brother pushed aside by the vision of presenting the head of the beast to his Queen.
151.
152.
Blueberry muffins.
153.
154.
Frantically pressing the "close door" button on the elevator panel, the snarling leocrotta charged toward him, fully baring it's rows of teeth and fangs.
155.
Quickly, with a paperclip, he engraves 'Elbereth' on the elevator floor.
156.
Thus protected, the leocrotta could not harm him. But how now would he reach the blueberry muffin he saw, at the other end of the corridor?
157.
He reached into his pockets. Sure as the sun rises, the packet of Rowntree's fruit pastels was still there.
158.
The leocrotta stopped in its path, growling and barking at him; the elevator door finally closed.
159.
160.
Missiles screamed over the horizon, riding a wake of folded space.
161.
162.
Pressure built in the ship's cabin as the berry pastry onslaught began to consume the ground gained by the sweet, orange liquid.
163.
The computer had started singing. Mitch just hoped it would be original this time -- he'd heard 'Daisy' and 'Still Alive' too many times to stand it any longer.
164.
165.
In the missiles' wake, time itself rent the earth with every wrinkle of each local individual's imagination...
166.
167.
In the kitchen, Dr. Strom Thunderbolt continued to polish his knife collection.
168.
As Thunderbolt was polishing his favorite knife, it accidentally slipped from his hands and hit an unlabeled switch on the floor.
169.
The doctor looked up and, seeing himself in another sliver of the probability-space, suddenly understood.
170.
The mind was designed to collapse wavefunctions by observing them, but here he was observing an infinity of selves in an infinity of universes, all uncollapsed, all possible: all certain.
171.
The weight of the choice that presented itself to him was far too great for him: so he fapped and went to bed.
172.
173.
It seemed as though the hands of fate were in fact the hands of a drunken frat boy.
174.
"Manos! You're drunk!" yelled his girlfriend, hurling empty beer cans at him.
175.
Sighing and drawing his knives again, Strom walked through the wall and into somebody else's life.
176.
177.
The computer's main logic module was just out of reach.
178.
The corner of the table was mere centimeters from his face, if only he could reach it...
179.
180.
A lone missile, conferred immunity to blueberry-reinforced unobtainium by a ruby locket received from its late mentor, pierced through the elevator floor and discharged it from the abandoned spacecraft into the furthest reaches of 16th century Spain.
181.
182.
The Spanish Inquisition were certainly not expecting the muffin. Even less did they expect the half-man, half-cyborg beast that #7624 was now.
183.
Now that he could see the beast, he plugged noise cancelling sets into his ears.
184.
The rancid stench of its breath flooded his nostrils and made the surroundings swim.
185.
#7624 closed on the Spaniards, his crystal shard drawn.
186.
A gentleman in a British Colonel's uniform burst in through the door, momentarily stunning them.
187.
Swinging once, the shard sheared through the red robes of the inquisitors, opening his path to the final confrontation with the beast.
188.
189.
The beast, gibbering in its madness, stood twelve stories tall, body speckled with hair and various elements of battlements and other castle features.
190.
191.
Just as #7624 burst through the door, the Doctor, his ears plugged and his knives ready, dropped through a skylight onto the Beast's unprotected head.
192.
Slowly tipping, head dotted with knives gleaming from the Doctor's endless pursuits, the beast started to topple down to the satin flooring.
193.
194.
Dropping an arm suddenly, the beast's head snapped to attention as it howled "CAPTAIN AMERICA IS A MARVEL CHARACTER, YOU FAGGOT!" so hard that it rent into the fourth dimension.
195.
196.
"Very good. But machines don't fall for mind tricks." remarked #7624, lunging at the true form of the Beast.
197.
"The voice box, cut out the voice box," #7624 yelled up to the doctor.
198.
The doctor, his ears securely plugged, shrugged at #7624, but he had been distracted too long.
199.
200.
Meanwhile, pirates were singing pirate songs on their pirate ship inside their pirate cave.
201.
Pirates.
202.
203.
Without warning, the elevator rocketed up the chamber and burst through the ceiling. Charlie had received his reward.
204.
205.
The scene both delighted and horrified the young lad: it was his four grandparents in a mind-fucking transfer of bodily fluids the likes of which won't tear themselves through the lobes of one such as he.
206.
207.
He wept, blind.
208.
209.
The Beast swung its enormous arm, batting away a flying elevator far beyond the horizon.
210.
Lashing its tail, the beast swung at Charlie, hoping for a quick kill.
211.
The flying elevator, now charred, crumpled, and empty, crashed into the pirates' secret hideaway, prompting a hearty "Shiver me timbers!!" as it landed in front of their ship.
212.
213.
Charlie's arm erupted forth from his body, snapping up bits of machinery with petite snappy tentacles and incorporating them into a steadily growing bio-mechanical titan growing from within the boy, blocking the beast's tail.
214.
He was momentarily distracted by the urge to scream "KANEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" before settling his intent upon its final destination: no items, fox and marth only.
215.
216.
The Doctor wavered and plunged toward the Beast's throat, his last gleaming knife outstretched before him.
217.
Leaping into the midst of the beast's many legs, #7624 attempted to hamstring it and bring it to the floor.
218.
The beast, no longer able to support itself on it's ruined legs, sunk rapidly to the floor.
219.
220.
The Doctor, by now trapped in its throat, felt himself falling again and braced his knife against what was now the floor.
221.
That selfsame floor was in fact the doctor's own leg.
222.
The schizophrenic floor pitched and yawed in tumultuous protest.
223.
Realizing his state, he kissed his knee and severed himself at the waist, vowing to never go home again.
224.
225.
Driving his knife into his own leg might have seemed a foolish stratagem, but the Doctor's brilliant mind was, as always, one step ahead.
226.
His leg shot out with incredible force from the Beast's voicebox, knocking #7624 unconscious.
227.
228.
The black satin caressed the monstrous beast's face, reminding him of his mother's arms in his far-off youth.
229.
Seizing his chance, #7624 swung the shard through the throat of the beast, destroying the vocal cords.
230.
231.
The ship's computer, the intricacies of the battle scene unfolding before it having overloaded its last reserves of computing power, began taking notes.
232.
233.
Time was repeating itself, in seemingly indefinite and random packets. Nothing made sense anymore.
234.
235.
The plateau stretched before the eye of the sniper above the mountaintop: a fight beyond all measure, a pirate battle in the making, shrapnel from orbit scratching fire upon the cloudless sky, and his dick quavering in his free hand.
236.
He had forgotten his pills and his hand quirked up and down the trigger. his hair waded in the air, adrift -- set off by the heat from his head.
237.
238.
Suddenly, in the collapsing timelines, the Doctor found himself, standing intact inside the dead Beast's ribcage next to #7624.
239.
With a quickness like lightening and a madness like thunder, the doctor stepped side-wise through the gaping dimensions before him, slipping a knife from his waistband through the fingers of the lowly scout-sniper, severing his purchase.
240.
The now-dead sniper reminded him of a friend he had lost several years before.
241.
He slowly pulled down his own pants. It had been slightly more than friendship, after all, and it seemed only fair to give him a good sendoff.
242.
243.
#7624, content with the Beast's mighty throat, returned to the Palace. The orgy was about to start, and he was nearly late.
244.
Arriving at the palace, #7624's legs shortened once more.
245.
Together, they bartered over the spoils of the battle.
246.
247.
Mitch, awaking from his somnophilic entrancement, spat his fury in idle words as he started to unstrap himself from the ruined rape-drive, stating: "This is not a good day for profit, damnit."
248.
There would be hell to pay for the archaeo-fuck-ulist's needless fury.
249.
"Remember," he said, "The enemies' gate is DOWN."
250.
251.
Suddenly, with an unprecendented clarity, a prophetic vision burst into Mitch's head.
252.
253.
It was a sultry midsummer's afternoon and rape was in the air.
254.
The rabbit paused in front of the man's eyes as they slowly opened... "Hello, Herr Doktor. Welcome to your own mind!"
255.
He shrugged to himself. "When has my life ever made sense?"
256.
257.
A deafening roar filled the sky as bomber planes, half an hour late from stopping at Wendy's, flying at supersonic speeds dropped a barrage of warheads in an attempt to destroy the beast, who had been slain just moments before.
258.
Warheads full of devices of mass destruction so vile they had been banned a full three seconds after their introduction--Baconators.
259.
The doctor, spotting the imminent blast whilst his hand hovered above the now-dead sniper's lap, shifted away, shuddering.
260.
#7624 retreated to the shelter of his armoured patrol vehicle to sit out the blast.
261.
262.
But the whole continent had been wiped clean of life years earler.
263.
After the reformation of the local galactic organization's chapter of planet ordination and cooperative rape enhancement and enslavement, the continent was good as new.
264.
Like tiny marbles, the globes fell into the seething gap between the stars, leaving no trace of their presence.
265.
266.
The doctor delivered his verdict with utmost professionalism: "Checkmate."
267.
The disco marines had arrived too late to do battle with the techno beast, so had proceeded to party.
268.
The doctor was horrified until he realised he was inside a giant disco-ball.
269.
"They're not real marines dammit, they're strippers! Look how hot they are!"
270.
The party turned out to be a flop because it was a total sausage fest.
271.
272.
The Queen summoned her Major-domo and charged him to fetch the Disco Marines and bring them to the orgy.
273.
The destructive forces, by now built up so much that they could no longer be contained, released themselves toward the palace.
274.
A voice boomed from the heavens: "Annnd, SCENE!"
275.
276.
The universe blank, the unknown creator himself, brow furrowed, sat in thought.
277.
278.
Suddenly, there were dicks everywhere.
279.
Anger flashing several galaxies into creation, the omnipotent lord was baffled by the sudden appearance of the billowing cloud of dicks enveloping every corner of his eternal gaze.
280.
"This is it. I'm not going to stand for this! ABORT!"
281.
"Father, no", Jesus cried, "They are only playing a forum game, the internet is serious business to them."
282.
"You cannot convince me otherwise son, their free will knows no ends. Look, a wall of dicks encroaches on the silver city."
283.
"Then, father, let me go and find you one good man that you might spare this world."
284.
"Then go Son, but know that I am toying with the idea of Bismuth based lifeforms for my next attempt at creation."
285.
286.
Having once again returned to the kitchen, Dr. Strom Thunderbolt, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection. He held up his latest glittering acquisition to the light.
287.
"Pika pika!" squealed the IKEA chrome-vanadium blade.
288.
He put the silver fruit-knife on the mantlepiece. Actually, he drove it in as hard as he could. As far as we know, it's still there.
289.
290.
With a flash of light, Jesus appeared to the doctor in his kitchen.
291.
And Jesus said, "I don't love you, my son. I'm just trying to get into bed with you."
292.
293.
"You can have my body but I require the still beating heart of a lesser demon king in payment."
294.
295.
The doctor fled through his ever-treacherous door, pausing only to pick up his collection.
296.
Which suddenly dropped from his hands, impaling his feet on the floor (or what was left of it).
297.
298.
Jesus walked towards him, smiling.
299.
As he advanced, his head suddenly morphed into an oxblood elongated pyramid shape.
300.
And then Jesus died.
301.
"Father... I've failed you..." he groaned... And then suddenly, resurrection!
302.
And the day is once again saved by...
303.
304.
...Unit #7624, refreshed after the massive orgy and out patrolling again.
305.
His fingers twitched uncontrollably in anticipation.
306.
It had become clear that this entire scenario was the result of a conspiracy. A Freemason conspiracy.
307.
And then John was some kind of undead creature, occasionally referred to in popular culture as a "zombie."
308.
309.
***
310.
311.
I whistled for a cab,
312.
And when it was close enough for me to properly view its interior.
313.
I shot the driver, stole the cab and drove to Texas.
314.
Only to have it run out of fuel with no towns nearby.
315.
I found Texas did not properly suit my views as I am a disgusting liberal.
316.
317.
Out of nowhere Bush walks toward me and says..
318.
"That's the second-biggest monkey head I've ever seen!"
319.
"Which was the largest, your own?" I quipped.
320.
321.
Fortunately, his wit was too slow to catch my own as it zipped above his head.
322.
And unfortunately for him, my 9mm zipped straight through his head.
323.
I felt a sudden urge to DEVOUR HIS BRAINS.
324.
And I did, for nine hours straight.
325.
225.
Driving his knife into his own leg might have seemed a foolish stratagem, but the Doctor's brilliant mind was, as always, one step ahead.
226.
His leg shot out with incredible force from the Beast's voicebox, knocking #7624 unconscious.
227.
228.
The black satin caressed the monstrous beast's face, reminding him of his mother's arms in his far-off youth.
229.
Seizing his chance, #7624 swung the shard through the throat of the beast, destroying the vocal cords.
230.
231.
The ship's computer, the intricacies of the battle scene unfolding before it having overloaded its last reserves of computing power, began taking notes.
232.
233.
Time was repeating itself, in seemingly indefinite and random packets. Nothing made sense anymore.
234.
235.
The plateau stretched before the eye of the sniper above the mountaintop: a fight beyond all measure, a pirate battle in the making, shrapnel from orbit scratching fire upon the cloudless sky, and his dick quavering in his free hand.
236.
He had forgotten his pills and his hand quirked up and down the trigger. his hair waded in the air, adrift -- set off by the heat from his head.
237.
238.
Suddenly, in the collapsing timelines, the Doctor found himself, standing intact inside the dead Beast's ribcage next to #7624.
239.
With a quickness like lightening and a madness like thunder, the doctor stepped side-wise through the gaping dimensions before him, slipping a knife from his waistband through the fingers of the lowly scout-sniper, severing his purchase.
240.
The now-dead sniper reminded him of a friend he had lost several years before.
241.
He slowly pulled down his own pants. It had been slightly more than friendship, after all, and it seemed only fair to give him a good sendoff.
242.
243.
#7624, content with the Beast's mighty throat, returned to the Palace. The orgy was about to start, and he was nearly late.
244.
Arriving at the palace, #7624's legs shortened once more.
245.
Together, they bartered over the spoils of the battle.
246.
247.
Mitch, awaking from his somnophilic entrancement, spat his fury in idle words as he started to unstrap himself from the ruined rape-drive, stating: "This is not a good day for profit, damnit."
248.
There would be hell to pay for the archaeo-fuck-ulist's needless fury.
249.
"Remember," he said, "The enemies' gate is DOWN."
250.
251.
Suddenly, with an unprecendented clarity, a prophetic vision burst into Mitch's head.
252.
253.
It was a sultry midsummer's afternoon and rape was in the air.
254.
The rabbit paused in front of the man's eyes as they slowly opened... "Hello, Herr Doktor. Welcome to your own mind!"
255.
He shrugged to himself. "When has my life ever made sense?"
256.
257.
A deafening roar filled the sky as bomber planes, half an hour late from stopping at Wendy's, flying at supersonic speeds dropped a barrage of warheads in an attempt to destroy the beast, who had been slain just moments before.
258.
Warheads full of devices of mass destruction so vile they had been banned a full three seconds after their introduction--Baconators.
259.
The doctor, spotting the imminent blast whilst his hand hovered above the now-dead sniper's lap, shifted away, shuddering.
260.
#7624 retreated to the shelter of his armoured patrol vehicle to sit out the blast.
261.
262.
But the whole continent had been wiped clean of life years earler.
263.
After the reformation of the local galactic organization's chapter of planet ordination and cooperative rape enhancement and enslavement, the continent was good as new.
264.
Like tiny marbles, the globes fell into the seething gap between the stars, leaving no trace of their presence.
265.
266.
The doctor delivered his verdict with utmost professionalism: "Checkmate."
267.
The disco marines had arrived too late to do battle with the techno beast, so had proceeded to party.
268.
The doctor was horrified until he realised he was inside a giant disco-ball.
269.
"They're not real marines dammit, they're strippers! Look how hot they are!"
270.
The party turned out to be a flop because it was a total sausage fest.
271.
272.
The Queen summoned her Major-domo and charged him to fetch the Disco Marines and bring them to the orgy.
273.
The destructive forces, by now built up so much that they could no longer be contained, released themselves toward the palace.
274.
A voice boomed from the heavens: "Annnd, SCENE!"
275.
276.
The universe blank, the unknown creator himself, brow furrowed, sat in thought.
277.
278.
Suddenly, there were dicks everywhere.
279.
Anger flashing several galaxies into creation, the omnipotent lord was baffled by the sudden appearance of the billowing cloud of dicks enveloping every corner of his eternal gaze.
280.
"This is it. I'm not going to stand for this! ABORT!"
281.
"Father, no", Jesus cried, "They are only playing a forum game, the internet is serious business to them."
282.
"You cannot convince me otherwise son, their free will knows no ends. Look, a wall of dicks encroaches on the silver city."
283.
"Then, father, let me go and find you one good man that you might spare this world."
284.
"Then go Son, but know that I am toying with the idea of Bismuth based lifeforms for my next attempt at creation."
285.
286.
Having once again returned to the kitchen, Dr. Strom Thunderbolt, pediatrician, was polishing his knife collection. He held up his latest glittering acquisition to the light.
287.
"Pika pika!" squealed the IKEA chrome-vanadium blade.
288.
He put the silver fruit-knife on the mantlepiece. Actually, he drove it in as hard as he could. As far as we know, it's still there.
289.
290.
With a flash of light, Jesus appeared to the doctor in his kitchen.
291.
And Jesus said, "I don't love you, my son. I'm just trying to get into bed with you."
292.
293.
"You can have my body but I require the still beating heart of a lesser demon king in payment."
294.
295.
The doctor fled through his ever-treacherous door, pausing only to pick up his collection.
296.
Which suddenly dropped from his hands, impaling his feet on the floor (or what was left of it).
297.
298.
Jesus walked towards him, smiling.
299.
As he advanced, his head suddenly morphed into an oxblood elongated pyramid shape.
300.
And then Jesus died.
301.
"Father... I've failed you..." he groaned... And then suddenly, resurrection!
302.
And the day is once again saved by...
303.
304.
...Unit #7624, refreshed after the massive orgy and out patrolling again.
305.
His fingers twitched uncontrollably in anticipation.
306.
It had become clear that this entire scenario was the result of a conspiracy. A Freemason conspiracy.
307.
And then John was some kind of undead creature, occasionally referred to in popular culture as a "zombie."
308.
309.
***
310.
311.
I whistled for a cab,
312.
And when it was close enough for me to properly view its interior.
313.
I shot the driver, stole the cab and drove to Texas.
314.
Only to have it run out of fuel with no towns nearby.
315.
I found Texas did not properly suit my views as I am a disgusting liberal.
316.
317.
Out of nowhere Bush walks toward me and says..
318.
"That's the second-biggest monkey head I've ever seen!"
319.
"Which was the largest, your own?" I quipped.
320.
321.
Fortunately, his wit was too slow to catch my own as it zipped above his head.
322.
And unfortunately for him, my 9mm zipped straight through his head.
323.
I felt a sudden urge to DEVOUR HIS BRAINS.
324.
And I did, for nine hours straight.
325.
Veronicamarsandocrock7
New member
326.
And that's how I got crabs a second time.
327.
328.
Low flying aircraft made an appearance on the horizon.
329.
Suddenly, the sub farted and all was incinerated by a furious blaze of infernal hydrogen.
330.
331.
Suddenly the book ended.
332.
333.
As suddenly as it was gone, it arose -- with a massive erection -- disembodied heads floating in the night spoke with reckless abandon.
334.
335.
Dr. Strom Thunderbolt, pediatrician, found himself polishing his knife collection again, a task he felt sure he had completed several times already this night.
336.
337.
With strobe like flashes, his mind began to pulsate until he was no longer aware of his surroundings.
338.
339.
And then someone turned on the large Hadron collider. The universe ended.
340.
341.
Never to return.
342.
343.
NEVER.
344.
345.
His mission failed, Jesus returned to the Silver City to receive his chastisement from Himself.
346.
Only to discover, to his horror, that He had not managed to contain the wall of dicks in His absence and they had consumed the angelic host.
347.
Fraught with despair, he desperately sought respite from the nightmare.
348.
In another man's anus.
349.
350.
Descending into hell, he sought out the haunt of a lesser demon king.
351.
Upon arrival, haggard and trembling, he rapped frantically at the door, only to find that it was already open.
352.
353.
Upon entering the door, he realized the thread now contained 300 posts.
354.
And took a moment to bask in the glory of his robot overlord.
355.
By the sight of an apple computer, he first trembled in unbelievable fear and fell to the ground, with all his spirits gone.
356.
357.
Then, he thought, the air grew denser...
358.
Perfumed by an unseen censer, swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
359.
...The stench of rotting corpses, stale sweat & flatulence,
360.
361.
Dear Lord, he had entered /b/.
362.
363.
He turned in all directions, and to his horror saw all the waste of mankind's mind -- the gore and pedophilia and bestiality all bared before him.
364.
"When will the horror end?" he asked himself silently.
365.
Only to find himself enjoying the mindless horror show.
366.
Fapping with the force of a thousand basement dwellers, he came and washed the board clean with his heavenly emissions.
367.
Staring with newfound eyes at a foul image of a prepubescent girl laid and weeping, he found his fingers arrhythmically dancing across the keyoard.
368.
"I need some advice /b/, my home has been overrun by lustful faggotry, what do you suggest I do?"
369.
"Moar pooper."
And that's how I got crabs a second time.
327.
328.
Low flying aircraft made an appearance on the horizon.
329.
Suddenly, the sub farted and all was incinerated by a furious blaze of infernal hydrogen.
330.
331.
Suddenly the book ended.
332.
333.
As suddenly as it was gone, it arose -- with a massive erection -- disembodied heads floating in the night spoke with reckless abandon.
334.
335.
Dr. Strom Thunderbolt, pediatrician, found himself polishing his knife collection again, a task he felt sure he had completed several times already this night.
336.
337.
With strobe like flashes, his mind began to pulsate until he was no longer aware of his surroundings.
338.
339.
And then someone turned on the large Hadron collider. The universe ended.
340.
341.
Never to return.
342.
343.
NEVER.
344.
345.
His mission failed, Jesus returned to the Silver City to receive his chastisement from Himself.
346.
Only to discover, to his horror, that He had not managed to contain the wall of dicks in His absence and they had consumed the angelic host.
347.
Fraught with despair, he desperately sought respite from the nightmare.
348.
In another man's anus.
349.
350.
Descending into hell, he sought out the haunt of a lesser demon king.
351.
Upon arrival, haggard and trembling, he rapped frantically at the door, only to find that it was already open.
352.
353.
Upon entering the door, he realized the thread now contained 300 posts.
354.
And took a moment to bask in the glory of his robot overlord.
355.
By the sight of an apple computer, he first trembled in unbelievable fear and fell to the ground, with all his spirits gone.
356.
357.
Then, he thought, the air grew denser...
358.
Perfumed by an unseen censer, swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
359.
...The stench of rotting corpses, stale sweat & flatulence,
360.
361.
Dear Lord, he had entered /b/.
362.
363.
He turned in all directions, and to his horror saw all the waste of mankind's mind -- the gore and pedophilia and bestiality all bared before him.
364.
"When will the horror end?" he asked himself silently.
365.
Only to find himself enjoying the mindless horror show.
366.
Fapping with the force of a thousand basement dwellers, he came and washed the board clean with his heavenly emissions.
367.
Staring with newfound eyes at a foul image of a prepubescent girl laid and weeping, he found his fingers arrhythmically dancing across the keyoard.
368.
"I need some advice /b/, my home has been overrun by lustful faggotry, what do you suggest I do?"
369.
"Moar pooper."
semalfni666
New member
No, I'm pretty sure it's a story.
