Here is a game intro I am working on. I was hoping to get constructive feedback from my peeps out in the big I. 
Its early Saturday morning. Josh wakes up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. It seems his girlfriend has thoughtfully set his alarm clock for him again. His head is pounding from last night. He slowly gets out of bed and lurches down the hallway to get a big glass of water from the kitchen. He meets his girlfriend halfway to the kitchen.
She is frustrated because he has not taken out the garbage like he said he would. She insists he take out the garbage within the next 5 minutes if he cares about her feelings at all. Josh moans, and continues on to the kitchen.
While Josh is drinking a big glass of water, he wonders if girlfriends are worth the trouble. He begrudgingly grabs the garbage from the kitchen bin. He leaves his apartment and slowly walks down the hallway to the back of the apartment complex, into the grey alley. He vaguely realizes he is only wearing some white boxers, and a pair of smelly old socks still on his feet from last night.
The trash dumpster is overfull as expected, its lid is hanging open displaying a small pyramid of trash bags. In an effort to save walking energy, Josh swings the garbage bag in a small arc, and throws it, hoping to land it on the top of the pyramid. The bag hits the top and slowly rolls down the opposite side, landing behind the dumpster. Josh moans again, and slowly moves to the back of the dumpster to retrieve the garbage bag.
As he grabs for the bag, he sees something that looks like an old comic book on the ground just under the dumpster. He picks up the comic. The cover reads:
A Mostly Complete Guide To Traveling Between
Are you unhappy in your current world? Want to travel Between?
Leave your troubles behind and just go Between.
Its early Saturday morning. Josh wakes up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. It seems his girlfriend has thoughtfully set his alarm clock for him again. His head is pounding from last night. He slowly gets out of bed and lurches down the hallway to get a big glass of water from the kitchen. He meets his girlfriend halfway to the kitchen.
She is frustrated because he has not taken out the garbage like he said he would. She insists he take out the garbage within the next 5 minutes if he cares about her feelings at all. Josh moans, and continues on to the kitchen.
While Josh is drinking a big glass of water, he wonders if girlfriends are worth the trouble. He begrudgingly grabs the garbage from the kitchen bin. He leaves his apartment and slowly walks down the hallway to the back of the apartment complex, into the grey alley. He vaguely realizes he is only wearing some white boxers, and a pair of smelly old socks still on his feet from last night.
The trash dumpster is overfull as expected, its lid is hanging open displaying a small pyramid of trash bags. In an effort to save walking energy, Josh swings the garbage bag in a small arc, and throws it, hoping to land it on the top of the pyramid. The bag hits the top and slowly rolls down the opposite side, landing behind the dumpster. Josh moans again, and slowly moves to the back of the dumpster to retrieve the garbage bag.
As he grabs for the bag, he sees something that looks like an old comic book on the ground just under the dumpster. He picks up the comic. The cover reads:
A Mostly Complete Guide To Traveling Between
Are you unhappy in your current world? Want to travel Between?
Leave your troubles behind and just go Between.