I did this one at lunch. Ask a hot chick how she brushes her tounge. (makes movement up and down toward her mouth, with tounge out.) I laughed and then was turned on.
man walks into a bar he sees a jar behind the bar wit 50 dollar bills asks the bartender what is that for bartender replies its for a bet i got going, put in 50 and ill tell u wat u gotta do. so the guy gets hammered at the bar and puts the 50 dollars in. bartender goes theres a rottwieler wit a loose tooth out back go pull it than come back then go upstairs theres a 90 year old ladyu who has not been pleasured in 60 years pleasure her than you win the money.
so the guy drinks somemore and goes out side. all u can her in the bar isthe dog wimpering. the guy comes in and says now wheres the lady wit the loose tooth
Guy walks into a bar and sees a hot chick sitting. He says can I buy you a drink.
She says, "No, alcohol is bad for my legs."
guy says, "o, does it make them hurt."
she says, "No, it makes them spread."
So this little girl hears something something strange coming from her parent's room so she walks down the hall to investigate. She opens her parent's door to discover they are doing something strange, her mom sees the little girl and tells her in a frantic and embaressed voice to go back to bed, so the little girl shuts the door and goes back to bed. The next morning the little girl is eating breakfast with her mom and asks her "mommy, what were you and daddy doing last night?" her mom replies with an uncomfortable sound in her voice, "oh, daddy and I were just making cupcakes." Than the little girl says, "I know you and daddy were making cupcakes because I licked the frosting off the pillow."
Pierre, the French fighter pilot:
Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!".
So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?" shrieks Marie.
"Well, my name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I have red meat I like to have red wine!"
His answer is good enough for Marie and things begin to heat up.
So she says : "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero rips off her blouse, grabs a bottle of white wine and starts pouring it all over her tits.
"Pierre, what are you doing?"
"My name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I have white meat I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans over once more and softly whispers into his ear, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Pierre tears off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and sprinkles it all over her bush. He grabs a match and lights it on fire.
Patting the flames out furiously, Marie screams, "PIERRE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?"
"My name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!"