Ultamate Showdown Bear grylls vs Survivor Man

Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
when suddenly Batman burst from the shade
and hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
when Aaron Carter came out of the blue

and he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
but before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
and took an AK47 out from under his hat
and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but he ran out of bullets and he ran away
because Optimus Prime came to save the day

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
and then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
but Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
and Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
when Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
then he jumped in the air and did a summersault
while Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...

angels sang out in immaculate chorus
down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
into the crotch of Indiana Jones
who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
but Chuck saw through his clever disguise
and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
all came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on total awe

and the fight raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
of Ultimate Destiny
 
ayo dis ya boi hotkarl hittin you Up n' lettin my homies no neither of these bustas could live a day in mahh hood, compton yaa herrr these niggas get slummped :dodgy:
 
Bear trapped a salmon in a shallow stream and smack it to death and ate it raw. That's sushi for ya.
 
ya it's called "noodling"

I just want to see about where he went, and I wonder if they filmed it this summer cause it's been some kind of hot.
 
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Versus

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Bear grylls is 99% bullshit. Half of his "survival" techniques are made up or dangerous. In one episode, he miraculously had a rope so he could abseil down a slope... wtf who would ever end up in a survival scenario with a rope. Him using his parachute as a survival tool is also bullshit. Who the hell would ever parachute into somewhere besides maybe a fighter pilot??? Grylls is SAS but I doubt he ever saw any combat.
Les Stroud is legit.
 
Don't even fucking start with the comparing pictures shit.
It doesn't prove a thing.

Look, I can do it too.

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Versus

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ahahhahahahah LAWl! true survivor man right there:dodgyrun:
 
Jon, you know nothing about survival, I don't know why you insist that Les is better.
 
although bear is still a badass motherfucker, les would win. he doesnt use a flint stick, carries 60+ pounds of camera gear, and films himself.
 
What would lead you to make such a baseless assumption?
I've taken two, 4 day survival classes in my life and go backpacking at least once a year.

Based on what I know, and observed, I can only logically pick Les as the better survivor.
He's not the greatest, and I don't hold him up on a pedestal, but compared to "Bear" he is the obvious choice.

It's been said before:
Bear = Extreme, more accomplished, better shape, more entertaining.
Les = Boring, more knowledgeable, more experience ACTUALLY surviving.
 
he has used a flint before, hes gotten guns and survival kits numerous times. bear has never had anything other than a knife and a flint, he has started fires without it in alot of episodes too. as for carrying around gear, he usually doesnt move very far because people come and find him.

Did anyone see bear get stung in the eyebrow and his entire face swelled up to the point where he almost couldnt see?
 
he was given the gun so he wouldnt get fucking eaten by a goddamn bear. lets see bear go into bear country (fuck the pun) with no protection from a polar bear. wouldnt happen. he'd say fuck it and go back to his HOTEL.
 
Yeah. I laughed pretty hard.
He reminded me of the pigeon man thread we had not too long ago, except with bubbly eyes. lol.
 
yea but he was only supposed to use it for protection, then he lit a fire with it.
 
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